Advice on Guilt

[FamiraPrincess]

Does anyone else ever feel like they are doing something wrong? I was brought up in a conservative household where none if this would be accepted. How do you get around it?

[Deleted Member]

I think you have to just do what makes you happy....the guilt will ease..  

[Deleted Member]

Hey, are you Catholic?! If you are it's probably that! X

[Daddysadist97]

I think the most enlightening thing for me was accidently coming across kinky people in real life; as it made me feel wholly more at ease about it. However i get what you mean x

[ey****]

when I started I felt a lot of guilt (atheist - so, definitely not a religion thing) and then sometimes, the guilt would turn me on, making me feel even more guilt. Ha.

But, just kinda - what you are doing (whatever it is) it's not weird or unusual - there's many other like you or similar all around the world and closer than you might expect.  BDSM has a history going back thousands of years.

Though I guess if there is some form of thing specific - is what you are doing hurting other people (and not in a good way, ha) or likely to - in which case that becomes a different kettle of fish.

[Carnelian2]

I am not Catholic. We were brought up in a Lutheran society but my family was not particularly Christian, in fact my father left the State Church. Yet, I did feel this unease, as if I was doing something wrong, as people I interacted with did not understand the kinky side. I have tried to suppress it, but it is there, as it is part of who I am. 

I have come to that acceptance, but finding the balance is an on-going task, as we all grow and develop. 

That was a long way of saying to give it time. Being around likeminded people helps a lot. It is a mindset. Good luck

[ca****]

I am always doing something wrong - that is life, living and learning

People are brought up differently all over the world - just because you are brought up one way doesn't mean 'you' arent able to change and that change or that being different is not correct.

 

[Deleted Member]

If your enjoying what you do then its not wrong for you. So shouldnt feel guilty 

[Deleted Member]

I’ve never personally felt like I’ve been doing something wrong, however I have seen it in other people. It’s usually rooted in the way they grew up, with the mixing up *** and bdsm (the you should never hit a woman teaching). 

There is a lot of good information out there about the difference between *** and bdsm - my favourite simple saying is 1,000 words will not stop *** but one safeword will stop bdsm. 

Another friend felt guilt in her bdsm relationship because she enjoyed *** play. She had identified as a feminist and felt she was disrespecting feminism for enjoying it. In her case she needed to flip her thoughts around. The feminist movement is a fight for the right to freely choose what you want as a woman. That choice includes the choice to hand control over to another. 

There’s probably a dozen other reasons someone could feel guilt in bdsm, but if you think your guilt may be associated with the perception that bdsm is abusive, spend time analysing how a consensual adult negotiated relationship, where you are respected and heard, is different from what your guilt is trying to make you believe. Good luck.

 

Heels 👠👠