Finding a foot fetish partner - needing tips and advice

[Fox96]

I’ve been trying without any luck to find someone who is sexually aligned and mutually as into foot fetish as they are with establishing a relationship which could go in any direction. This site (in my opinion) makes it so hard to find someone who will respond to ones approach/messages and I’m wondering if there is anyone out there who has successfully found what I’m looking for and if there’s any tips or advice I could use to help improve my discovery and conversing skills. 
I know I don’t have a profile pic but have always tried to make it clear that I will open up and show myself if I met someone who’s interested in me. 
but I don’t think most women on here find that a sound thing to do 

[Northern-2448]

Hey bud. I. I'm In the same boat as you. It is so difficult to find. Its like trying to find a needle in a haystack. 

[ey****]

There's often a bit of a double edge - but I'll explain a very simple problem.

If you make your approaches about feet - then people get a vibe that you care more about feet, then you do about them.  This is very off-putting.

This is a common mistake guys make and continue to make.

Like - OP - if I go to your profile then there's not only no photo, but no about me, and all it basically says is "I have a foot fetish" 

A foot fetish is a wonderful thing to have - and being a the feet of someone who enjoys you being there and enjoys what you do with their feet is - awesome.....  but it's not a personality... it's not really a topic you can hold a meaningful conversation with someone over dinner

There's no perfect approach, but there's a lot of bad ones - and if the vibe you set off is "I just want some feet in my face" it's off-putting.  Small talk only works if it's someone who really wants small talk and often puts labour on the other person, something they have little incentive to do if they're already disinterested or have nothing to go on from your profile or contact

On or off fetish sites, basically demonstrating you are actually interested in *them as a person* goes a long way, you can then kinda work out compatibilities from there.

 

[Deleted Member]

  2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

There's often a bit of a double edge - but I'll explain a very simple problem.

If you make your approaches about feet - then people get a vibe that you care more about feet, then you do about them.  This is very off-putting.

This is a common mistake guys make and continue to make.

Like - OP - if I go to your profile then there's not only no photo, but no about me, and all it basically says is "I have a foot fetish" 

A foot fetish is a wonderful thing to have - and being a the feet of someone who enjoys you being there and enjoys what you do with their feet is - awesome.....  but it's not a personality... it's not really a topic you can hold a meaningful conversation with someone over dinner

There's no perfect approach, but there's a lot of bad ones - and if the vibe you set off is "I just want some feet in my face" it's off-putting.  Small talk only works if it's someone who really wants small talk and often puts labour on the other person, something they have little incentive to do if they're already disinterested or have nothing to go on from your profile or contact

On or off fetish sites, basically demonstrating you are actually interested in *them as a person* goes a long way, you can then kinda work out compatibilities from there.

 

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Pity you can't have Stickies on this site, eyem. You've written this many times yet I still see people asking the same thing. Not that they would read it, I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[ey****]

  16 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Pity you can't have Stickies on this site, eyem. You've written this many times yet I still see people asking the same thing. Not that they would read it, I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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I should have a document with a bunch of copy-paste quotes  

 

[Deleted Member]

  39 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I should have a document with a bunch of copy-paste quotes  

 

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You don't? 😲 That's a lot of writing.

[Mz****]

  3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

There's often a bit of a double edge - but I'll explain a very simple problem.

If you make your approaches about feet - then people get a vibe that you care more about feet, then you do about them.  This is very off-putting.

This is a common mistake guys make and continue to make.

Like - OP - if I go to your profile then there's not only no photo, but no about me, and all it basically says is "I have a foot fetish" 

A foot fetish is a wonderful thing to have - and being a the feet of someone who enjoys you being there and enjoys what you do with their feet is - awesome.....  but it's not a personality... it's not really a topic you can hold a meaningful conversation with someone over dinner

There's no perfect approach, but there's a lot of bad ones - and if the vibe you set off is "I just want some feet in my face" it's off-putting.  Small talk only works if it's someone who really wants small talk and often puts labour on the other person, something they have little incentive to do if they're already disinterested or have nothing to go on from your profile or contact

On or off fetish sites, basically demonstrating you are actually interested in *them as a person* goes a long way, you can then kinda work out compatibilities from there.

 

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Can't really add anything to this, but I can confirm that being seen as just a pair of feet is vexing, as is being spoken to about only one aspect of who and what I am, or am looking for, I'm a whole person, not a fetish dispenser.

I'd add, (and I mean no offence, foot fetish is one of my dealbreaker kinks),  if foot and shoe fetishes are your only kinks, you're just as likely, if not more so, to find a match on a vanilla site..I attempted about 3 years ago to find a partner via POF and a couple of other dating sites, (FLRs are my thing and I figured it was worth a try on a popular platform...dismal failure as it happens, but live and learn right?) Anyway, although I mentioned FLRs (Female Led Relationship) I didn't mention feet at all, other than my size, although I did put up one picture of a dangling heel, 80-90% of the messages I received were from guys with a foot fetish..so you've nothing to lose browsing profiles, here or elsewhere, looking to see if someone has foot pics up, if they do, odds are they enjoy foot worship, or play or both..some may not identify as having a foot fetish perhaps like me they don't enjoy other people's feet themselves, or haven't bothered to list kinks, or like you haven't filled in their profile.

 

Edited July 13, 2021 by MzJax
Typo

[Du****]

I invite you to read my profile. Granted, I can speak only for myself; but I make it absolutely clear how I wish to be approached. Not that you’re necessarily interested in me, but it’s unlikely I’m the only one who appreciates manners and thoughtful conversation, so it might be useful. It’s worth noting that the other person needs a reason to be interested in you, too, so if you don’t have anything about yourself in your profile, maybe they wouldn’t bother to reply. I love to have my imagination captured!
Also, as others have said: by all means fetishise my feet - but don’t ignore the rest of me. My feet are not my personality. It’s like guys who boast about their rock hard abs - they’re not a replacement for being interesting.

[Deleted Member]

Your profile status is not single. That would be the first hurdle. Second foot fetish is gone so big most women make *** out of it so desperate men like you won’t find someone who’s specifically made a selfish priority

[ey****]

  3 hours ago, Curvykate said:

You don't? 😲 That's a lot of writing.

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interestingly.  a lot of what led to my blog was me sick of typing some of the same stuff over and over again - so, basically, like, if anyone asks me "how do I get into film?" or something else - I just chuck them by blog on the subject

[ey****]

  3 hours ago, MzJax said:

if foot and shoe fetishes are your only kinks, you're just as likely, if not more so, to find a match on a vanilla site..

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I'm going to back this up - and....

my main kink is foot fetish.  It's not my only fetish, but I've found pretty much over the years it's the one I most yearn for.

Prior to coming onto fetish circles, all of my partners were people met through vanilla circles - at a club, through friends, at a taxi rank after missing a last bus, so on.

I did foot play with them all.  Some were more into it than others, and for most it was a new idea.  But, every partner, even one night stands, I have - at the minimum - kissed their toes.

I am aware of women who are against the idea of having their feet touched/kissed and I'm aware of those who've had a bad experience with a foot fetishist (but women who've had bad experiences with foot fetishists are even more common on the fetish scene!) but honestly, most women who you build up a sense of intimacy with have a likelihood at being open to this.

So, yeah - connection first.  Find someone you both enjoy spending time with.  

[Deleted Member]

  28 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

interestingly.  a lot of what led to my blog was me sick of typing some of the same stuff over and over again - so, basically, like, if anyone asks me "how do I get into film?" or something else - I just chuck them by blog on the subject

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😁 I'm sure many people have been suitably grateful!

[Deleted Member]

  3 hours ago, MzJax said:

Can't really add anything to this, but I can confirm that being seen as just a pair of feet is vexing, as is being spoken to about only one aspect of who and what I am, or am looking for, I'm a whole person, not a fetish dispenser.

I'd add, (and I mean no offence, foot fetish is one of my dealbreaker kinks),  if foot and shoe fetishes are your only kinks, you're just as likely, if not more so, to find a match on a vanilla site..I attempted about 3 years ago to find a partner via POF and a couple of other dating sites, (FLRs are my thing and I figured it was worth a try on a popular platform...dismal failure as it happens, but live and learn right?) Anyway, although I mentioned FLRs (Female Led Relationship) I didn't mention feet at all, other than my size, although I did put up one picture of a dangling heel, 80-90% of the messages I received were from guys with a foot fetish..so you've nothing to lose browsing profiles, here or elsewhere, looking to see if someone has foot pics up, if they do, odds are they enjoy foot worship, or play or both..some may not identify as having a foot fetish perhaps like me they don't enjoy other people's feet themselves, or haven't bothered to list kinks, or like you haven't filled in their profile.

 

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I must say that I was inundated on another app because I naively put up a photo of my leg/foot. I had to delete it as I can't stand anyone touching my feet much less anything else.

[Mz****]

  34 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I must say that I was inundated on another app because I naively put up a photo of my leg/foot. I had to delete it as I can't stand anyone touching my feet much less anything else.

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My first response to reading this was a laugh so hard I gave myself a stitch..I thank you and apologise in equal measure 😁

A lot of sites turn out to be super strict on even the mere hint of an interest in a sex life, I reckon there's a whole list of secret signals and phrases out there I'm not privvy to, be great if someone could put them together for us non millennials 🤔

 

[Deleted Member]

  1 hour ago, MzJax said:

My first response to reading this was a laugh so hard I gave myself a stitch..I thank you and apologise in equal measure 😁

A lot of sites turn out to be super strict on even the mere hint of an interest in a sex life, I reckon there's a whole list of secret signals and phrases out there I'm not privvy to, be great if someone could put them together for us non millennials 🤔

 

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Very glad I could afford you a laugh! I did feel idiotic by the time I realised I'd gotten half a dozen foot fetishists in my inbox!

[ey****]

  1 hour ago, MzJax said:

A lot of sites turn out to be super strict on even the mere hint of an interest in a sex life, I reckon there's a whole list of secret signals and phrases out there I'm not privvy to, be great if someone could put them together for us non millennials

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there's a few acronyms but most are blatant 

I'm aware of... if a man mentions being good at massages, particularly foot massages, on a vanilla dating site it's "I've got a foot fetish but don't want to put people off" - mind, they might be disappointed if it turns out he's not good at foot massages, merely has a fetish

Aside from any explicit mention of kinks "I like a woman in charge" usually means "I have Femdom fantasies" 

It may be someone includes a clear kink motiv in their profile picture, say a Triskele

On vanilla dating - I've tended not to make assumptions on women.  I assume on fetish websites that women are aware of foot fetish and so prominent pictures of feet (profile picture, or a fair few amongst a gallery) is one, where, they know the audience.   But on a vanilla website I wouldn't make such assumptions.   Particularly as many pictures may be innocent - I'm not sure how many ladies on holiday realised their sun lounger picture - which shows their outstretched feet is appealing to foot fetishists.  I know some are revolted when they do find out... mostly cos it's usually someone making a totally inappropriate comment. 

[Deleted Member]

  11 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's a few acronyms but most are blatant 

I'm aware of... if a man mentions being good at massages, particularly foot massages, on a vanilla dating site it's "I've got a foot fetish but don't want to put people off" - mind, they might be disappointed if it turns out he's not good at foot massages, merely has a fetish

Aside from any explicit mention of kinks "I like a woman in charge" usually means "I have Femdom fantasies" 

It may be someone includes a clear kink motiv in their profile picture, say a Triskele

On vanilla dating - I've tended not to make assumptions on women.  I assume on fetish websites that women are aware of foot fetish and so prominent pictures of feet (profile picture, or a fair few amongst a gallery) is one, where, they know the audience.   But on a vanilla website I wouldn't make such assumptions.   Particularly as many pictures may be innocent - I'm not sure how many ladies on holiday realised their sun lounger picture - which shows their outstretched feet is appealing to foot fetishists.  I know some are revolted when they do find out... mostly cos it's usually someone making a totally inappropriate comment. 

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To be fair it wasn't a vanilla app. I've stopped bothering!

[Mz****]

  8 hours ago, Curvykate said:

To be fair it wasn't a vanilla app. I've stopped bothering!

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My the same thing on a Fetish site (here back when I first joined) was with a picture of me wearing a strap-on..I'm not a massive pegger, at the time I had some of my fetishes listed, pegging wasn't one of them (though I do enjoy it on occasions..my own way of course)..but, I'd included this picture ..I'm looking down at the strap-on towards the floor, the obvious connection in my mind being thats one place where I enjoy my submissive, on their knees gagging on my fake cock..duh..I was sooooo wrong about that..I think I got of 250 messages that day alone, and not even ONE asked how My enjoyment of the strap-on could be achieved, improved, accommodated or provided..it was all about them and their chasing one fetish and not bothering or caring about anything else.

I'm with you on the giving up thing.. seems like I'm too old and tired to continue the chase anymore.. 🤷‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

  3 hours ago, MzJax said:

My the same thing on a Fetish site (here back when I first joined) was with a picture of me wearing a strap-on..I'm not a massive pegger, at the time I had some of my fetishes listed, pegging wasn't one of them (though I do enjoy it on occasions..my own way of course)..but, I'd included this picture ..I'm looking down at the strap-on towards the floor, the obvious connection in my mind being thats one place where I enjoy my submissive, on their knees gagging on my fake cock..duh..I was sooooo wrong about that..I think I got of 250 messages that day alone, and not even ONE asked how My enjoyment of the strap-on could be achieved, improved, accommodated or provided..it was all about them and their chasing one fetish and not bothering or caring about anything else.

I'm with you on the giving up thing.. seems like I'm too old and tired to continue the chase anymore.. 🤷‍♀️

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It must be very frustrating. I see the posts and it's all about what you can do for them. Not the other way around. 🙄

[ey****]

I want to say, don't give up, but I also can empathise how frustrating this must be at times.

At the risk of projecting - the kinda concept of reading yet-another-post from a guy going "why is it hard to find a Domme?" (because your idea of 'looking' is weak) "all the good ones are taken" (excuse me?!) "or just want ***" (aside from anything else, all relationships cost ***, but that's a whole new discussion) "why won't anyone give me a chance, just a conversation, see where things go?" (because you send the ladies messages that either shoot straight to the meet-up/sexual or use small talk which pushes a lot of labour onto the person you're trying to impress to hold the conversation.)
 

[pomonagirl]

maybe attend a foot fetish party, if there are any in your area?

[ey****]

as a small ancedote

today I went for some reflexology - and I was lying there while the lady was working frankly magic with her hands and fingers about a few things which relate to this thread

one of which was... she was different to ladies I've seen in the past for reflexology - I won't say better or worse, just different - but she was certainly more skilled than, well, I am.

And most likely most foot fetish guys

(I want do a scene one time where a guy who is into feet has to worship mine - this would be what neither of us wanted, but could be funny) 

but, this to me played in to a common argument like - one not on this thread but "some women literally pay for foot massages, why won't they take one from me, for free" - cos your half baked fumble isn't a massage...

But again, it also had me thinking more that... what she looked like wasn't important, nor her age, or anything - because obviously in this case she is doing a job as a masseuse and I am there as someone who has benefitted from reflexology previously 

So yeah, if when she'd finished she was like "Mate, your feet are fucking awesome - wanna grab lunch" I probably would have said yeah, because I was hungry - on assumption she was buying like, but again - we'd have nothing in common other than I find reflexology beneficial (downside, I feel ready for a good night sleep at 8pm....) and she - in my hypothetical fantasy - likes giving them.

 

[Mz****]

  15 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

today I went for some reflexology - and I was lying there while the lady was working frankly magic with her hands and fingers about a few things which relate to this thread

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Sooooo soooo envious right now..its been 720 days since my last foot massage..(yup, I got my calender and worked it out)..you're right about the fumbling sadly, it can often feel like it's a rushed afterthought at best, and only provided to earn brownie points in hopes of having their fetish attended too..rather than to pleasure me or a kind of foreplay or which is how I feel about it.

 

[ey****]

  13 hours ago, MzJax said:

Sooooo soooo envious right now..its been 720 days since my last foot massage..(yup, I got my calender and worked it out)..you're right about the fumbling sadly, it can often feel like it's a rushed afterthought at best, and only provided to earn brownie points in hopes of having their fetish attended too..rather than to pleasure me or a kind of foreplay or which is how I feel about it.

 

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I think mine was even longer - but - yep, overdue!

Yep - I think... so, like... for me personally.  When it comes to foot rubs/massages - I'm not a total fumbler but, I'm totally not anywhere near the pro level where I could say "You pay for this! Come to me for free!" 

With total honesty, my pleasure comes from feet in face, kissing, licking, sucking, so on - I have learnt a couple of tricks which makes it nice for the person involved - and one of those things learnt is that it doesn't work on everyone 

And. I won't say the other person gets nothing from it with me - perhaps sometimes they don't.  Perhaps sometimes they enjoy seeing me in my element. Perhaps they enjoy a boy at their feet. Perhaps sometimes I am doing really nice things - but this is something I am quite conscious of that it can be quite a selfish fetish - which, yeah, which is why I know not just everyone is going to want to do any form of foot play with me.

But, that there has to be some other benefit of meeting me.  

 

[ShyFootExplorer]

I’m needing advice because someone I’ve been talking to opened up to me about their foot fetish and I’ve never done it before! I’m open but think my feet aren’t cute enough (former dancer, current runner). Any advice for me?