Vanilla is important

[qu****]

Some may cough and splutter, even spill their tea at the title but it is. I've found through chatting and occasionally meeting that even the most hardcore relationship most begin at that level. Though this you truly get to know someone, not only likes and dislikes in BDSM, kink etc, but on a more personal level as in what movies, music, books, sports, relaxing etc, I feel it is really a more realistic way of forming a relationship, all be it long term, once a month meets etc, this is how trust and respect are formed, and occasionally love. Hope this doesn't seem boring.

[Mistress-H]

I second this! Vanilla is important when starting a new relationship xx

[Deleted Member]

People first kinksters second, and I believe that comes with new kinky connections as well. How can we be the kinksters we wish to be without first getting to know the actual human being, who has a job, maybe kids, a hectic life, wants and desires, feelings and emotions first? To go really deep, to explore the depth of  sexuality one may carry,  we must first know who that person really is, and the starting point, for me, is always vanilla.

[Deleted Member]

Trust only comes with connection and knowledge with another… always vanilla first…

[TheBookCollector]

Totally agree with you on this, however there are some.who just cant understand that type.of approachand ofte. Discount you because you dont display your uber domliness from the outset.

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely! There is no way to separate the kink from the person. The kink is just another element to someone - if you don’t like and get a good feel for the person, how could you develop the trust that it’s needed to truly enjoy the kink?

[Deleted Member]

It is not boring at all. 

It's an ultra valuable post for people who are just entering this kink world to see....and absorb. 

Personality personality personality should come first and foremost, every single time you meet someone new in the world. Whether it's, social, business, or kink meetings. It's never kink first. Never kink centric. 

So... what a very interesting post and great comments! Thank you!

 

[ey****]

Can't disagree.

Whilst kink is important, like, look - you can't kink all the time.  You have to have something else in common