Permission and consent

[Deleted Member]

While I am open to all kinds of conversations with all kind of people, it’s never okay to send picture before getting approval to do so. And while at it, if you just send unwanted picture to people you barely know and when they call you out on this you gaslight them into saying you are uncomfortable guess what you are I. The wrong because you made me feel uncomfortable in the first place by not respecting boundaries.
Pm a woman on here doesn’t allow you all to be openly sexual with them without an hint of conversation or elegance - obv it doesn’t apply to all but remember you should always respect people’s boundaries and get their active consent.

[Du****]

So many conversations like this. A zero-tolerance approach by all of us who feel this way might help others to change their behaviour. I have agreed with lots of other FET users who have said the same thing as you - just because it’s a kink site does not make it acceptable to share content without first gaining consent. And yes, starting a conversation with a filthy remark is just flat-out rude. I’ve made sure my feelings on this are clear in my profile, but do you think they read it first?! If only!

[Cu****]

One thing that is great about this site is that profiles are readable by everyone. They should be the first point of call for anyone before they begin a convo.

 

Anyone that flashes unwanted cock speaks louder than a banner that the only head they think with is the little one. And it'sall they care about... if only it wasnt so fuckn ugly!

[Deleted Member]

THIS^^^!!

And like you say, when you call them out on it, its your own fault for being 'sensitive' or 'what do you expect, its a kink site' 🤦‍♀️

Now its just a straight forward block (what happens when we block everyone here?!😂)

Its not about being sensitive (not that theres anything wrong with that if I was), it is about having some respect for others and yourself!
They wouldn't approach someone in a bar like they do here and I doubt they'd be happy to know any females they care about being approached this way.

I'd like to say its the younger males, a lack of experience/too much confidence etc but its really really not (hello 51yr old male in my inbox asking to screenshot a pic for his own pleasure)

[Du****]

  15 minutes ago, Whosethatgirl said:

THIS^^^!!

And like you say, when you call them out on it, its your own fault for being 'sensitive' or 'what do you expect, its a kink site' 🤦‍♀️

Now its just a straight forward block (what happens when we block everyone here?!😂)

Its not about being sensitive (not that theres anything wrong with that if I was), it is about having some respect for others and yourself!
They wouldn't approach someone in a bar like they do here and I doubt they'd be happy to know any females they care about being approached this way.

I'd like to say its the younger males, a lack of experience/too much confidence etc but its really really not (hello 51yr old male in my inbox asking to screenshot a pic for his own pleasure)

Expand  

Literally just had that from someone calling himself “BigDick[xxx] (sure, whatever mate 😂) I turned him down because he was crass and repulsive, then I had to say it again because he was too dim to understand I’d said No. Then he sent this: “Omg your [sic] on a dating/fucking website if your [again, sic] gonna be stuck up go find a blind dating bingo club or something old ass bitch 😂😂😂 Your [at least he’s consistent, sic] lucky a stud like me would think twice about fucking a cheeky bitch like you”.
Funny, how I was “sexy” and he wanted to get “freaky” with me until I rejected his uneducated ass 🤷‍♀️ I’m embarrassed for him, it’s pathetic.

[Deleted Member]

This is something I’ve posted about a few times and honestly, I think this site is no different to any other dating site in that sense. Unfortunately some Men do this on all social media networks, this one in particular they seem to think it’s ok because it’s a kink site. I honestly don’t understand the thought process, unless it’s asked for, you shouldn’t share it and being abusive when it’s not well received just shows you really are a dick..can see why they’re single sometimes can’t you? I’ve found a lot of men to be quite disrespectful on here once rejected though, with or without dick pics 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

  44 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Literally just had that from someone calling himself “BigDick[xxx] (sure, whatever mate 😂) I turned him down because he was crass and repulsive, then I had to say it again because he was too dim to understand I’d said No. Then he sent this: “Omg your [sic] on a dating/fucking website if your [again, sic] gonna be stuck up go find a blind dating bingo club or something old ass bitch 😂😂😂 Your [at least he’s consistent, sic] lucky a stud like me would think twice about fucking a cheeky bitch like you”.
Funny, how I was “sexy” and he wanted to get “freaky” with me until I rejected his uneducated ass 🤷‍♀️ I’m embarrassed for him, it’s pathetic.

Expand  

'A fucking website'??? I didn't realise I'd joined Tinder/Whiplr??? 🤔
The mind boggles it really does
I started off bratting them but they had no idea and it's gotten to the point I'm bored of it
But, there are people here who do seem kind, respectful and who may actually be Dominant 😮 or at least i don't want to set on 🔥😂 (thats a joke before anyone calls me on it, i'm not a pyromaniac)

[Deleted Member]

  4 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

So many conversations like this. A zero-tolerance approach by all of us who feel this way might help others to change their behaviour. I have agreed with lots of other FET users who have said the same thing as you - just because it’s a kink site does not make it acceptable to share content without first gaining consent. And yes, starting a conversation with a filthy remark is just flat-out rude. I’ve made sure my feelings on this are clear in my profile, but do you think they read it first?! If only!

Expand  

I don’t think they do to be honest…. Or they disregard it altogether 🤷🏾‍♀️ which is very frustrating

[Deleted Member]

  4 hours ago, Curvygirl1 said:

One thing that is great about this site is that profiles are readable by everyone. They should be the first point of call for anyone before they begin a convo.

 

Anyone that flashes unwanted cock speaks louder than a banner that the only head they think with is the little one. And it'sall they care about... if only it wasnt so fuckn ugly!

Expand  

For real ! It speaks volumes but to still have to go through all that is so damn well frustrating and not okay, it’s nerve-wracking

[Deleted Member]

  4 hours ago, Whosethatgirl said:

THIS^^^!!

And like you say, when you call them out on it, its your own fault for being 'sensitive' or 'what do you expect, its a kink site' 🤦‍♀️

Now its just a straight forward block (what happens when we block everyone here?!😂)

Its not about being sensitive (not that theres anything wrong with that if I was), it is about having some respect for others and yourself!
They wouldn't approach someone in a bar like they do here and I doubt they'd be happy to know any females they care about being approached this way.

I'd like to say its the younger males, a lack of experience/too much confidence etc but its really really not (hello 51yr old male in my inbox asking to screenshot a pic for his own pleasure)

Expand  

THIS - they definitely wouldn’t! The lack of socially acceptable approach is maddening ! Wants to bang your head against a wall ! Oh no dang it….. and then they wonder why we are so reluctant to share pictures 🤦🏾‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

  3 minutes ago, PrincessCinnamonBun said:

THIS - they definitely wouldn’t! The lack of socially acceptable approach is maddening ! Wants to bang your head against a wall ! Oh no dang it….. and then they wonder why we are so reluctant to share pictures 🤦🏾‍♀️

Expand  

The other day i hid mine because of a couple of plonkers but then i thought, no why should i? Its on them if they behave like that

[Firefox_]

Yes within hours of joining I was sent messages about meeting that night for sex... I was so wtf :/ now I just ignore them. But it shouldn't have to be like that. They should respect bounderies 🙄🙄🙄

[Deleted Member]

From a male perspective I’d love to meet a bloke who does this sexually aggressive dick pic thing so I could ask why, legitimately. It’s well known to the point of cliche that 90% of women hate it, and I’ve never EVER heard of it working on any platform. I’ve discussed it openly with all my guy friends and no one I know claims to have ever tried it.

It’s frustrating being perceived by default as a predator because so many guys do this. The normal blokes with social skills would also quite like them to stop, if it’s any consolation.

[ey****]

There was a journalist once who basically reached out to guys who sent dick pics to get their insight under the veil it would be anonymous

(and there's been quite a few other articles on this since)

There's also been surveys.

Some of the common reasons that came back are some of the usual.

One is they might be in a conversation and not sure where it's going, so send a dick pic - this has one of two results - the conversations ends, or they get laid (because if they get an angry response they consider it as 'not interested')

Another is the whole numbers game, that in send the pic out to 100 women - if just 1 replies with any positivity in it ends in sex then all the other people who were sexually harassed do not matter to their narcissistic ego.

Going down the list there are some who do it for their own gratification and enjoy the thrill of sending a picture and are hoping for a response, even if not a positive one.  While some are hoping for positive responses, some are hoping for repulse and some are hoping for *** (so even if you try to brush it off with a "is that all you got?" there's not certainty that that was not their desired result)

But then there's a small minority who admit to deliberately sending for the wrong reasons (I expect the true figure to be greater - like - who is going to admit they're a sex offender? Well, 16% in this survey apparently) either being that they wanted to exert power after an argument and make the other person angry or repulsed - or - was simply sending for misogynistic reasons in the first place.

 

So. If you receive a dick pic - he either hates you, wants to show off he can make you upset or angry, is playing a numbers game or is getting off by sending it.   

[Deleted Member]

Many who either only or mostly communicate online often forget the basic part of socializing because some see that if you can do whatever you want without consequences then you would be justified...If that makes no sense good you still understand basic logic. Even as a guy I get unwanted attention and no one regardless of who you are should be harassed by pointless creepy messages.

[na****]

  Friday at 05:42 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

There was a journalist once who basically reached out to guys who sent dick pics to get their insight under the veil it would be anonymous

(and there's been quite a few other articles on this since)

There's also been surveys.

Some of the common reasons that came back are some of the usual.

One is they might be in a conversation and not sure where it's going, so send a dick pic - this has one of two results - the conversations ends, or they get laid (because if they get an angry response they consider it as 'not interested')

Another is the whole numbers game, that in send the pic out to 100 women - if just 1 replies with any positivity in it ends in sex then all the other people who were sexually harassed do not matter to their narcissistic ego.

Going down the list there are some who do it for their own gratification and enjoy the thrill of sending a picture and are hoping for a response, even if not a positive one.  While some are hoping for positive responses, some are hoping for repulse and some are hoping for *** (so even if you try to brush it off with a "is that all you got?" there's not certainty that that was not their desired result)

But then there's a small minority who admit to deliberately sending for the wrong reasons (I expect the true figure to be greater - like - who is going to admit they're a sex offender? Well, 16% in this survey apparently) either being that they wanted to exert power after an argument and make the other person angry or repulsed - or - was simply sending for misogynistic reasons in the first place.

 

So. If you receive a dick pic - he either hates you, wants to show off he can make you upset or angry, is playing a numbers game or is getting off by sending it.   

Expand  

Very elucidating.