Overcoming the Shame of a Foot Fetish

[ey****]

For the longest time I was ashamed of my foot fetish.

I mean, it seems difficult. Something you can't really control.  But, for the longest time I struggled with it.

Now, well, there's pictures and videos of me with a foot in my face and a pathetic grin - but there's a reason for that grin. And, that's partially acceptance.

There's nothing like the knowing smile from a Dominant, "I know what a perv you are for feet" (especially if they reference something they know but I haven't told them - like I've liked all their feet posts on social media) because it's also telling me things are consensual.  To make sure I've not overstepped lines.

The thing is. I know guys can be inappropriate.

There's been times on my Facebook where I've seen a female friend put up a status that there's been some creep in her inbox asking to see pictures of her feet (or possibly even commenting about photos of her feet he saw, the old lounger-by-the-pool on holiday type photo)

And as well as her own, rightful, repulsion of the creepy behaviour - other people will join in.  Not only about the behaviour, but about the concept of foot fetish in general.

And, it can make you feel like there's something wrong with you.  That there's something dirty, or disgusting.

Before I get to another part, I remember at a discussion group at a local dungeon I mentioned a foot fetish and one of the ladies there was shocked, "Really? But you're not a creep"

A bit of an outlandish thing, but her experience of foot fetishists, even within the kink community, was extremely poor.

See. Any hope I had that sites like Fetlife might be much better... well, maybe it's mixed.
Certainly you don't have so many people saying "sick of foot creeps in my inbox" and people joining in, but there's still foot creeps in their inbox.

And, as well as some of the comments on photos, which weren't always appropriate, I see the forum posts.

Whilst most are the usual bog-standard classifieds ("looking for a woman in my area to do my foot-based fetishes with me" - we're going back a few years so the "Will show my feet for " esque posts were less prevalent due to sites like not existing or being in infancy) it would be some of the "but why is it so hard...?" esques posts, or other entitlement, that was again off putting.

From the "this is a common fetish, more women should be accepting" (they ARE they just don't want to put their feet in a strangers mouth) to the negging ("there's no real women out there") and so on.

But sometimes, sometimes there'd be stories that were just terrifying.

From tricking people to showing, or letting them touch their feet.  To taking alternative routes to pass places where people may be barefoot or in sandals.  To deliberately sitting next to or near people on public transport to get a better view of feet.

There was even one guy who'd been working at a shoe shop for the only reason but to touch ladies feet.  

So actually. Some of my early days on fetish sites made me feel MORE ashamed and struggle MORE with my foot fetish than help it. Or help accept it.

I guess before we get on to the eventual acceptance, there is one favourite anecdote to tell.  Another that goes back about 5 years.

I was booking a session with a Pro Domme, and, it was someone I'd previously met filming and had a bit rapport with and it was a bit, fuck it, I'm booking a session.

It was a very important session on my journey as it happens but in one of my emails sorting it out, I was a bit, well, I asked about foot fetish but I felt weird and I almost felt I was being boring or cliche.

And she replied saying we could do some.

And, we did go through one of the common tropes of a little boot worship, and smelling socked feet on my face, before the socks come off and, foot heaven.   It is actually one of my favourite foot experiences.
But, before this, she'd asked about it a little, like, "why are you weird about it?"

I mentioned I was worried she'd find it boring.
"No, I enjoy it - and I like boys enjoying it. There's someone who comes see me and it's just foot fetish - and - I can relax, put my feet up, and it's enjoyable"

I was a bit reassured.  But also mentioned creeps on the internet.
She smiled, "But you're not a creep on the internet"

I'm not sure if a reference to general observations she's seen in comments I've made, or, that instead of talking a talk I'd not only previously met her by getting out and about but had booked a session and been appropriate in doing so, I don't know.

I guess to get to a point where I'm more acceptant took time.

A lot of positive interactions with a lot of people.  And by that I don't mean sliding in their inbox to talk about feet.

And, well - there are a lot of guys with foot fetishes with, frankly, shameful behaviour.  
But, I can distance myself from that.
I can speak out against that.

I can consider other people's feelings and how this benefits them.  
I can be mindful of my own behaviour so as not to be judged by others.

And You know. Enjoy that happy place.
When I'm at the feet of someone who enjoys me there.  Hopefully because whatever I'm doing to their feet is nice, but, also, because they like me, accept me and are happy for me to be down there (or, up there, if I'm pinning them to the bed to kiss their feet... ha!)

So, I think if you are struggling with your fetish.
It is common, and it is accepted. But, it being accepted doesn't mean complete strangers are going to give you their feet.  Make friends, have them like you for you and you for them and then, y'know. Stuff happens.
Actually learning nice things to do when down there helps, massage techniques, what genuinely feels nice or is helpful. This always goes far.
But, don't 'trick' people into giving you their feet.

Pro-Domme sessions can have their place. Like, if you want to be at somebody's feet and they happen to be a Pro, then this is achievable - you book a session. Sometimes people struggle a little here because they feel a bit "does she really like this?" but you can ask for honest feedback and pointers to make it more enjoyable for her or others.  
You can pick up techniques and different people like different things.
That's not a route you have to go down, but it's an option.

Learning what is creepy and what is not can go a long way, and, like a lot of things. Learning.
I still have more to learn.

[Tt****]

I love this post and it really sums up my views. I hate seeing people on sites like Instagram who moan about foot fetish people and see it as creepy though then I realise that their experience has only been negative. As you say, they get people who just try to trick them and are creeps. My hope is one day that people will see the normal foot fetish as separate to the creeps with a foot fetish who give it a bad name

[BigPolly]

I was clearing my wardrobe out a few months back & I came across a pair of old trainers which I threw out but weirdly my first thought was of you! I often thought about you all whilst I wasn’t on here for the year but it was funny that a pair of old trainers should make me think of you. I’m sure you must’ve said about old trainers at some point and it had unknowingly stuck dormant in my brain 😁

[Dreamaway]

Sheepy, perhaps this generalised revulsion comes from the now infamous pictures of Sarah Ferguson on holiday entertaining the paparazzi while having her toes sucked.. would you suck Fergies toes? I suspect I ready know the answer here and good luck to you my man.

[ey****]

  7 hours ago, TtimSsharp said:

I love this post and it really sums up my views. I hate seeing people on sites like Instagram who moan about foot fetish people and see it as creepy though then I realise that their experience has only been negative. As you say, they get people who just try to trick them and are creeps. My hope is one day that people will see the normal foot fetish as separate to the creeps with a foot fetish who give it a bad name

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I think to remember the *only* experiences they've had with foot fetishists is negative.  But it feels sometimes like a no-win when there's posts like this.

Because a lot of the comments end up also sticking a boot in - and sometimes commenting a little on the lines of 'hey, we're not all like this' can sometimes be a little 'not all men' but also comes with the kinda *** that folk (especially if you're their friend) will find you weird or start second guessing you.  

If you've ever been at some form of social gathering and there's someone who knows about your fetish and you see them slipping on slippers or shoes and it's second guessing whether you made them feel uncomfortable just by being there and having a fetish (when, actually, their feet were probably just cold or uncomfortable or they felt self conscious for *unrelated* reasons) 

I feel; the value here is still finding whatever made the person feel uncomfortable and learning that as something not to do.  And that's always valuable

[ey****]

  7 hours ago, BigPolly said:

I was clearing my wardrobe out a few months back & I came across a pair of old trainers which I threw out but weirdly my first thought was of you! I often thought about you all whilst I wasn’t on here for the year but it was funny that a pair of old trainers should make me think of you. I’m sure you must’ve said about old trainers at some point and it had unknowingly stuck dormant in my brain 😁

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I have mentioned old trainers before - I'm sure of it.  I've not yet done much with older trainers, but it's inevitable I will one day

Haha, yay - I make an impact ;) 

[ey****]

  6 hours ago, Dreamaway said:

Sheepy, perhaps this generalised revulsion comes from the now infamous pictures of Sarah Ferguson on holiday entertaining the paparazzi while having her toes sucked.. would you suck Fergies toes? I suspect I ready know the answer here and good luck to you my man.

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I'm not going to go look haha

But yeah, the media is seldom kinda to foot fetishists - nearly always portrayed as creepy in TV shows etc. and, well, at one point or another *most* local newspapers have ran a story about a foot creep who has been caught stealing socks or taking photos of feet in public or some such. 

[Deleted Member]

This reads like a parable, eyem and I mean that in the best way. Your level of insight into yourself and others is phenomenal as always. I only read this because it was you. Very glad I did. 👏🏻

[ey****]

  3 hours ago, Curvykate said:

This reads like a parable, eyem and I mean that in the best way. Your level of insight into yourself and others is phenomenal as always. I only read this because it was you. Very glad I did. 👏🏻

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Thank you

 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Interesting topic guess as a trans-gal I'm one of the few who myself have this Fetish 🤔 mostly for female feet & legs everything that goes with that such as shoes heels stockings tights blah blah I've always had it & feel it's pretty innocent as I'm just looking now & again & women's feet & legs/shoes are very visual I can totally get why guys are into that & would let someone have access to my feet if I already knew them a Bit though im odd in my own feet because they're long & skinny the only part of me that is model-skinny  while the rest puts on weight 🤔🎃 my hands are one of my most personal body parts but my feet not so much I wouldn't eXpect foot fetish to be eye opening or taboo very much as it's kinda a lightweight Fetish (unless your eXpecting to be able to jerk off on someone's feet like some guy did in a foot Fetish video thats in my collection  somewhere 🙊compared to most & done with the right consent not very intrusive but that's just my take on it Cheers 😀 definitely should do some favour for the gal in question though like cook dinner or something in return maybe.....cause it's still someone's body parts)

[Ki****]

I was 15 years old when my boyfriend suck my toes and lick my feet I was hooked but I was embarrassed so I would never told anyone that I met a young man and he help me come out of the closet with it I haven’t ever get to meet him I wish someday I could but I think him for helping me come out of the closet with my foot fetish in my shoe fetish I love my shoes on my feet

[MrRico]

Great article, hopefully it might help someone else who's just struggling with this common feeling of creepiness and insecurity. Also nice pointing out that it's often better to start with a regular friendship and eventually develop it further :)

[Suckyourtoes]

  April 19, 2022, Mistresskimber469ing said:

I was 15 years old when my boyfriend suck my toes and lick my feet I was hooked but I was embarrassed so I would never told anyone that I met a young man and he help me come out of the closet with it I haven’t ever get to meet him I wish someday I could but I think him for helping me come out of the closet with my foot fetish in my shoe fetish I love my shoes on my feet

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Hey stranger. I finally found you on fetlife.

[Suckyourtoes]

I’ve tried the creepy route thinking if I asked enough women on dating sites that one day I’d get lucky. After being told I was in the wrong place and should be on fetish sites I went there and was disappointed that foot fetishes were such a small niche. It’s all BDSM. People want to be tied up and flogged and ***d in every way but don’t touch my feet! It’s been just as frustrating trying to satisfy my fetish on a fetish site as it was on dating sites. Of course if there’s *** involved then every woman becomes a foot domme.

[ey****]

  1 hour ago, Suckyourtoes said:

People want to be tied up and flogged and ***d in every way but don’t touch my feet! It’s been just as frustrating trying to satisfy my fetish on a fetish site as it was on dating sites.

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Because the problem is you are trying to serve your fetish - and this doesn't have benefit to the other person.  It becomes about what you want (which is foot play with anyone) rather than what others want (to be treat like a human and not like a pair of feet) 

[Suckyourtoes]

I’m not a submissive. I’m just a guy who likes feet. I’m more of a hedonist. I love giving pleasure and don’t expect anything in return. Is it too much to want a mutually beneficial relationship with someone who can get beyond that thinking that they are only a pair of feet?

[ey****]

it doesn't matter if you're submissive, hedonist, dominant, "regular guy" - the other person has to have some benefit to meeting you

and indulging in your fetish is never a selfless act because you are benefiting by doing your fetish!

 

and, nope, it's not too much to ask - but a lot here is in how you present things.  if you treat people like a pair of toes to suck they are going to be less interested than if it actually appears you want to make an effort to form a relationship with them