Use of Titles

[ey****]

2 minutes ago, MzJax said:

Okay..thank you for explaining..that really does irritate me, I know some do it deliberately, in the same way they reply to male commentary on threads but not the female contribution..or they will only respond to s identifying.

yeah - there's some are very deliberate/obvious.  

3 minutes ago, MzJax said:

I know plenty of female Ds who like to be addressed as Sir, or even Daddy, no male ones who crave Mistress or Ma'am though, so perhaps your right.

Yeah, that's kinda it - if a Female Dominant says she prefers Dom to Domme then there's folk well tell her she's wrong - and I don't agree.   And yep... for titles, Miss, Mistress, Madam, Ma'am, Lady, Princess, Goddess, Governess... all some obvious ones but then I also know, as well as your Mz.... Mx, Mxtress, Goddexx, Sir, Daddy

And some people are "No! You have to be Domme ! You have to be Mistress !"

And, I'm sometimes. Why?

Though - Sir Claire is probably the only person I know I would ever call Sir

There is, on another boat, a lady who her preferred honorific and way of being addressed is... her name.

She feels that there are guys who will/would happily kneel before anyone that would have them (not every guy, but hey, plenty) and that saying "Mistress" is easy. And it sometimes lacks personality.  She wants people to use her name to show he is focused on her, and the moment.  And I see her perspective.

Said person I did meet once at an event. I accidentally called her Mistress, that didn't end well for me.... 

[qu****]

Nowadays Dom means dominant, Domme means dominatrix in a sadomasochistic dense, if just dominant then it's Dom whether male or female, end of the day though it's just a personal preference

[Mz****]

10 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

She feels that there are guys who will/would happily kneel before anyone that would have them (not every guy, but hey, plenty) and that saying "Mistress" is easy. And it sometimes lacks personality.  She wants people to use her name to show he is focused on her, and the moment.  And I see her perspective. 

Me too..the Mistress honorific comes before my given name.. being how freely honorifics are handed out.. to me it means nothing otherwise, I should have clarified that in my comment.

[Mo****]

IMHO the use of honorific by anyone is quite simply bull shit. I don't use them and for anyone else to impose them on me sees me blocking them for being fakes. WE are all equal in this life until there is a connection and commitment, then things may change. And one final point, I am never going to call a 20 something, mistress or godess when they have no idea about this life. I also make the point that some 20 something male is no real dominant either, they are simply males out for kinky sex, NOT for BDSM.. Now watch for the objectors jump on me.

[Mz****]

8 minutes ago, MossyBoy said:

IMHO the use of honorific by anyone is quite simply bull shit. I don't use them and for anyone else to impose them on me sees me blocking them for being fakes. WE are all equal in this life until there is a connection and commitment, then things may change. And one final point, I am never going to call a 20 something, mistress or godess when they have no idea about this life. I also make the point that some 20 something male is no real dominant either, they are simply males out for kinky sex, NOT for BDSM.. Now watch for the objectors jump on me.

Age is no guarantee of either experience or maturity..whatever side of the slash you sit.

 

 

[meretrixV2]

15 minutes ago, MossyBoy said:

IMHO the use of honorific by anyone is quite simply bull shit. I don't use them and for anyone else to impose them on me sees me blocking them for being fakes. WE are all equal in this life until there is a connection and commitment, then things may change. And one final point, I am never going to call a 20 something, mistress or godess when they have no idea about this life. I also make the point that some 20 something male is no real dominant either, they are simply males out for kinky sex, NOT for BDSM.. Now watch for the objectors jump on me.

This is incredibly agest, advanced age does not make you more of a Dom(me) some people are simply a quicker study and more open to criticism than others.

[Mo****]

4 minutes ago, meretrixV2 said:

This is incredibly agest, advanced age does not make you more of a Dom(me) some people are simply a quicker study and more open to criticism than others.

You have your opinion and I have mine.  Most of the young women on here these days are nothing more than gold diggers, and the young males are root rats looking for another scalp.  I am all for learning, but I am telling you, you don't learn this stuff in 6 or 12 months, no matter how good you are, and if you believe that stuff your preaching, then there is no way I ever want to play with you.  Most of the young women are here exploring their sexuality and learning about themselves, NOT learning about BDSM.  Once again most young women are out to find cash pigs because they think they are pretty and have a young cunt that old guys will swoon over.  Do some research and see.

[meretrixV2]

4 minutes ago, MossyBoy said:

You have your opinion and I have mine.  Most of the young women on here these days are nothing more than gold diggers, and the young males are root rats looking for another scalp.  I am all for learning, but I am telling you, you don't learn this stuff in 6 or 12 months, no matter how good you are, and if you believe that stuff your preaching, then there is no way I ever want to play with you.  Most of the young women are here exploring their sexuality and learning about themselves, NOT learning about BDSM.  Once again most young women are out to find cash pigs because they think they are pretty and have a young cunt that old guys will swoon over.  Do some research and see.

I have been a sub for 15 years, I don't need you to tell me how long it takes to learn BDSM , it's also my field of academic study, compared to you I am young, does this make my opinion less than yours?

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, FreeUrMind said:

I regularly read in profiles that the searcher (female members) wishes to be addressed by her title, varying from mommy Dom, Mistress, Owner, Goddess, or any combination imaginable. The latter is remarkable in itself. As long as there is no relationship, or agreement of any kind, there is no obligation whatsoever for the aspiring sub/slave/pet to address his opposite by any title whatsoever. Where did this exaggerated urge come from, and to en*** all the appeal with titles in advance during the introduction phase? That everything in life is subject to change is not in dispute, this community has also "modernized" itself in recent decades with the arrival of the internet. It may of course be that I can't keep up with the changes, but is it now customary to address each other with titles during the vetting, or is there an exaggerated attitude on the part of a few ?

 There are alot of amateurs who think they are professionals.😨 I am VERY careful!

[Mo****]

Just now, meretrixV2 said:

I have been a sub for 15 years, I don't need you to tell me how long it takes to learn BDSM , it's also my field of academic study, compared to you I am young, does this make my opinion less than yours?

What did I say about periods of time?  Did I mention 15 years, did I mention the age of 35 with 15 years experience.  NO I did none of that.  I have 45 years of experience and I have a strong background in training and psychology.  So I might just have the edge on you girl given you quoted ages and qualifications.  And as I said right from the front, IMHO, and if your opinion is not the same as mine then so be it.  That happens in life, so kick a long with it, and how right was I to say the detractors would be out and after me for my comments. 

[Mz****]

11 minutes ago, meretrixV2 said:

I have been a sub for 15 years, I don't need you to tell me how long it takes to learn BDSM , it's also my field of academic study, compared to you I am young, does this make my opinion less than yours?

Misogyny trumps everything, didn't you know?

A/anyone who uses "Imho" and ends "anyone who disagrees is fake, or a detractor" shows their mind is small and closed..let alone if they use crude or aggressive/passive aggressive language for the sake of patronising, attempting to gaslight or insult.

 

 

 

[qu****]

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who mistake BDSM for kink or fetish, be that bored 50 yearolds who've read 50 shades, or the younger generation some of whom equate being a miss bossy boots to being dominant, hopefully through being here realise there's more to it than they've realised and learn from others, but yes, there is a fair few who openly admit they want a cash cow paypig or whatever, for no reason than they think they are a self proclaimed goddess, but then you get them on any site, kink or vanilla, 

[meretrixV2]

1 hour ago, MossyBoy said:

What did I say about periods of time?  Did I mention 15 years, did I mention the age of 35 with 15 years experience.  NO I did none of that.  I have 45 years of experience and I have a strong background in training and psychology.  So I might just have the edge on you girl given you quoted ages and qualifications.  And as I said right from the front, IMHO, and if your opinion is not the same as mine then so be it.  That happens in life, so kick a long with it, and how right was I to say the detractors would be out and after me for my comments. 

Oh dear "girl" really hit your ego huh Seems age really isn't an indicator of maturity. I do love it when people prove my points for me

[Mo****]

8 minutes ago, meretrixV2 said:

Oh dear "girl" really hit your ego huh Seems age really isn't an indicator of maturity. I do love it when people prove my points for me

I have an opinion, and so do you, mine I value because is something that is proven, I can't say that about your opinion.  Now think you have had a victory, I will let you, but I do NOT have an ego on this, I have an opinion, and I would love for someone to prove me wrong, BUT no one to this point in time has, and your drivel shows your lack of knowledge.  Have a nice day. 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, meretrixV2 said:

This is incredibly agest, advanced age does not make you more of a Dom(me) some people are simply a quicker study and more open to criticism than others.

I've just had this conversation elsewhere and so from my experiences...

Someone who is 24 with 4 years experience as similar experience to someone who is 50 with 4 years experience

A big mistake we often make is comparing age to experience when we there are so many factors including how long someone has been actually involved, their learning pace, their learning barriers, opportunities, so on.

I also told a story of a Pro Domme I know who has circa 20 years experience but there's things she is not an expert in, in fact, has very low skill in - because kink and BDSM is multi-faceted.  Someone with 6 months experience in that area would, by design, have more experience *in that area* than she does.

We also have the element of shared experiences - so - we might often tell someone younger to "learn from elders" and then said Elder might be "so here is a bunch of mistakes I made" (Ok, s***ds up learning process by avoiding those mistakes) "here's a bunch of stuff I found really works" (So there becomes a gift of having good starting points for trial and error)

I feel a bit peak centrist here as I'm middle aged so can see both sides.

Excluding my time away - I've 8 years experience.  But I've met people younger, with much less experience who can do some things better than me.

[qu****]

All this can only be discussed from personal experiences, in this aspect of a disagreement neither is wrong, otherwise it's ok for a woman to say all men are bastards because of personal experiences, but wrong for a man to say all women are bitches for the same reasons, but hey, what do I know 🤷

[Wo****]

33 minutes ago, MossyBoy said:

I have an opinion, and so do you, mine I value because is something that is proven, I can't say that about your opinion.  Now think you have had a victory, I will let you, but I do NOT have an ego on this, I have an opinion, and I would love for someone to prove me wrong, BUT no one to this point in time has, and your drivel shows your lack of knowledge.  Have a nice day. 

"Opinions really are the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.” Bill Bullman.

[qu****]

Opinions are subjective beliefs, if they were objective they would be facts, not opinions

[meretrixV2]

3 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

Opinions are subjective beliefs, if they were objective they would be facts, not opinions

But then surely the original statement of "my opinion has been proven yours has not" holds no weight in reality

[Mo****]

21 minutes ago, BountyHunter said:

"Opinions really are the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.” Bill Bullman.

Who the hell is this person your quoting?  You have to reach for a quote from someone else rather than voice YOUR opinion/belief/idea on this discussion.  Whatever!

[Mo****]

5 minutes ago, meretrixV2 said:

But then surely the original statement of "my opinion has been proven yours has not" holds no weight in reality

And in that case your opinion holds no weight.  

[qu****]

5 minutes ago, meretrixV2 said:

But then surely the original statement of "my opinion has been proven yours has not" holds no weight in reality

Exactly, an opinion is a personal thought or belief, not everyone will agree with it, but then not everyone will disagree with it, 

[ge****]

3 minutes ago, MossyBoy said:

And in that case your opinion holds no weight.  

Does anybody's except to themselves? Or where the weight of opinion is heavily balanced in one particular direction?

[qu****]

2 minutes ago, MossyBoy said:

And in that case your opinion holds no weight.  

And neither does yours in that aspect, I'm beginning to think now now ***, play nicely 🤪

[ge****]

7 minutes ago, MossyBoy said:

Who the hell is this person your quoting?  You have to reach for a quote from someone else rather than voice YOUR opinion/belief/idea on this discussion.  Whatever!

Surely quoting an opinion of another that perfectly sums up your own is just as valid an opinion to hold though? Why re-invent the wheel?

To use another "Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one" 🙂