Being open minded and communication

[Deleted Member]

I notice that it is now customary to use the term "open minded" whenever it is convenient. Except when it comes down to it, that is in communication. I really wonder if most people even know what "open minded" means. Being open minded goes much deeper than just accepting and respecting each other's preferences in BDSM, or orientation, or sexuality. Being open minded relates to all subjects and aspects in daily life. In fact, very succinctly, it comes down to, for example, out of curiosity to understand the thoughts, motives, argumentation of the other person. This by asking questions such as how and where this person obtained his information, whether this information is reliable, whether this information may already be outdated, or whether his views correspond to yours. In principle, it is continuously working with your environment, and repeatedly determining whether, for example, your information is up-to-date, and whether you can understand someone else's points of view that he/she has based on his information without attaching a value judgment to it. To distance themselves from right and wrong, yes or no, true or false, and instead communicate and compare the available information. Delving into each other's thoughts, ***s, emotions, and feelings. It enriches your life, your relationships with your family and friends, and D or s. And please keep it neat, civilized and constructive!

[qu****]

Put simply open-minded means unprejudiced and willing to consider new ideas,

[BigPolly]

Being open minded to me simply means being non judgemental, which in itself can lead to new pathways. 
I consider myself to be open-minded and nonjudgemental however there is absolutely no way I would ever let anyone delve into my emotions or feelings, they’re mine. 😊

[qu****]

But I'd imagine broad-minded is more in line with here

[Leisa]

Is this what your definition of open-minded is to you or what it should be to everyone? Just like your post yesterday this one looks like it’s meant more for you to feel superior to those around you so you may tell them they’re not open-minded enough to live in the lifestyle you want to be part of.

[Deleted Member]

For me it means nothing more than accepting others are different, and their difference is no more valid or less than ones own. A willingness to try and place oneself in another's shoes to try and see things from their perspective, and respecting above all else their right to be different.

[qu****]

On a base level about the term open-minded being more prevalent nowadays I admit to noticing it myself, here and on vanilla sites but not necessarily just on a sexual level, unless it's just a baader-mienhof phenomenon

[TheBookCollector]

Bieig open minded is about listening to other peoples perspectives and respecting them. However it is not about blindly accepting what they say, while at the same time debating the points they raise.

[ey****]

the concept of open-mindedness is often an interesting one

there's also stuff everyone can be sometimes a little guilty of but that's not always as bad as it sounds.

In general it's important to often avoid absolutism.  That some things is a matter of perspective.  That some things there are many right ways, and some definite wrong ones.

I listen to lots of music these days though mostly what you'd call alternative - although this could be anything from, say, heavy metal, goth, industrial - which are all umbrella terms for 3 very different genres (even if there can sometimes be crossovers) but y'know, as a younger fan of metal - I did often come across a lot of folk and attitudes where people would argue about what was "true metal" and hating on pop music because it was cool (yet listening to bands who had done covers of the same pop songs?) 

Closed mindedness would be "everything sucks except metal... oh... and bands x, y and z aren't true metal"

But open mindedness could be lots of things

It could be someone who listens to a lot of different types of music

Or it could be "I only listen to a very specific type of metal.  But there's a bunch of bands in other genres that I don't really like but other people do and that's cool and valid"

It doesn't have to be "If you're really open minded about music then you have to go to the techno rave - you might like it" because that's bullshit.  You can be open minded and accept people like different types of music without having to go to a night you're not going to enjoy.

And, well...

that's all transferable on anything. Outside music.

In many jobs there will be a WAY to do things but there also needs to be an acceptance that there are other ways to also do it.  And that there may be a better way you either don't like or haven't discovered yet.

[Leisa]

Open mindedness obviously means different things to different people and for every 10 you ask you’re going to get 10 different responses some with mutual aspects. Open mindedness to Nevis the ability to open ones mind up to look at another person’s POV and engage in dialogue that’s mutually beneficial and can lead to an acceptable conclusion for both parties.

[Taramafor]

1: EVERYONE judges. Saying no one judges is in itself a closed minded statement. It's not considering the possability.

2: Don't coddle people. Be harsh/firm when needed. This can even be enjoyed (or learned to be).

3: MOST people are going to be close minded. Because they operate ONLY on what they WANT to believe or only with what they ALREADY know. This is NOT where answers lie.

4: CHALLENGE people. Even if they don't like it. Even if they HATE you for it. Yes I'm aware of your prefences. No you did not consider how you could enjoy it with ME. I am not others. I am not whatever you went through beforehand.

 

Before anyone even has a chance to assume the worst with 4, I say it now. I get people to have fun with what they rejected. This includes me. No doesn't mean no if I don't allow it. I ask "why" too much. I focus on reasons too much to stand up for irrational *** and bullshit. I will not give into peoples ***s and insecurties. I will however look after their wants and needs while making sure mine get met too. It's that simple.

 

Honestly, to be that open minded you really do have to challenge people when they're wrong. And if you LET a lie happen then you don't value honesty enough to be honest with me. And even if you do try to let it happen I'll find it. You can't hide a lie from me because I'm like a ***hound. I always sniff out contradictions. And I'll ask you so you trip yourself up and argue with yourself.

 

I remember this one time. I was being talked down and degraded at. An argument. But I was happy. I did just that. They called me amushing and comical. I was entertaining them. I was amused. Blam! Agreements formed, fun had. Sorted.

 

I'm open minded to the point I love everyone and everything around me. Provided it is honest. This is not possible with a lie. For it is not even known and therefor can not be accepted. A "open lie" is not a "honest" one. 10000 people can spread a half story rumor. But a "full story" can easily be the reverse. If someone bullshits me with assumptions then I bullshit them right back with honesty. "Can you handle the truth?" Or "Do you want to be that weak pathetic coward"? make the best from the worst. But in order to make the best you have to know the worst. Strength is born from weakness.

 

It's a mistake to try and be "nice" and "always kind". You already know it's close minded if you think that's the "only" way. Don't BS yourself now. Think of Jack from Mass Effect 3. She can be a bitch, but she's upfront and honest and loyal as they come. If she's got a problem with you she'll say it. If you got a problem with her she'll want to hear it. Anything else is a lie. Silence is a lie. Willful silence and not speaking up is lack of commucation or/and miscommunication. And if you CHOOSE that it's being DISHONEST. To be a LIAR and a COWARD. Let's get that very clear.

 

Now, the right wording? That's the trick to it. But I'll put it this way. When someone tells me "not interested" I ask "What are you not interested about?" And if they have a concern about "sub" then I explain "me". If they have sex concerns I address them. This person had EVERY concern.

I made things happen in a week. That's the result I got. I'll let it speak for itself. If you never get into argument and conflict then really, are you even trying to get what you want? Hahahahahahaa. I'm not afraid of being hurt. Only in knowing I didn't try. So I always try. Which means I have nothing to ***.

 

Seriously, you'll hate yourself if you don't actually try. This applies to any situation. Do you want it badly enough? You figure it out.

Edited September 13, 2021 by Taramafor