Advice to a Novice

[Deleted Member]

Hello to all,

I'm looking for advice, I'm new to the website and the BDSM subject and looking to find a fem dom. My issue is I'm speaking to people but im very cynical, its one of my biggest downfalls how do you vet people? I'm nervous to go forward.

 

 

[meelo_coco]

you can ask for references. how long have they been practicing. longest relationship get stuck in with the questions when vetting a domme x

[ey****]

if you happen to get talking to someone... it's gonna take a while.  Some of it is a little trust based, but do their stories add up?  Are they consistent?  Do they go to munches/events/etc and tbh they're a good place as a neutral meeting ground with a would be partner.  See if their knowledge matches their stated experience.

 

If of course you're discussing with someone who is a Pro, then to vet you can also see their website, clips, etc. 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you much appreciated

[ey****]

another form of vetting is if you are talking to someone and they happen to also post  in the forum, there is a breadcrumbs trail.  Also check if they use the same user name on other sites.

[Deleted Member]

Certainly ask questions - lots of questions. Red flags include a Dominant who either brushes them off, tells you that you should just accept what she says or you feel uncomfortable with their responses.

What you haven’t said in your ask is the type of experience/relationship you’re after. Is this vetting for a one off bottoming play scene with a local Domme, for a ProDomme paid scene, looking for a semi regular play partner, a longer term dynamic, online or real life, poly or not,  primary relationship, secondary or just a no strings attached situation?? 

Those are lots of variables that would influence the vetting process. 

If you haven’t thought about what you’re after - that’s the place to start, because a prospective Domme/Mistress/Top/ProDomme will have questions for you too.

 

Heels 👠👠

Edited May 3, 2018 by Deleted Member