Dear New Subs, yes you!

[Ava669]

Comment on Heavymtealbunny-I’m fairly new to true subbing not just playing a little at home. I’m a bit older than you and I can tell you that I personally feel that it is most important to get to know your dom. And for them to get to know you. It should be about respect for each other. Trust is key. No trust, no play. They should be out to help you grow in your roll, not take what they can from you. You need to feel safe not bullied. Trust your instincts, they’re there for a reason!

[Deleted Member]

That was really well written and good practical advice

[Ava669]

Thanks! I appreciate that!

[Frankink]

Bravo, great contribution and magnificent writing, I hope that many submissives who are starting out read you and that it helps them to extend their roots, as you say. I share your beautiful vision that each submissive, unique and genuine, is like an element of a peculiar and magnificent flora. 

It is a real shame when, due to ignorance and the desire to experiment, they are involved in bad experiences, because of furtive interested parties and undesirables who are alien to the true meaning and depth of the BDSM ecosystem. Unfortunately, many of them never come to flower. 

On the other hand, it is a great satisfaction when you see someone genuine discover their way to the forest and unfold all their essence in it. There are thousands of stories like this, to name one that comes to mind, that of a submissive with chronic fibromyalgia, who discovered her masochistic essence and, over time, a dominant who provided her with a well-being and liberation like she never dreamed of experiencing before, simply great.

Edited October 23 by Frankink

[KG****]

I have been doing everything you said not to do . Thank you for your insight.

One question if you are new to this how would you suggest finding out exactly what kinks you are into . I have an idea but you know what they say about assuming.

Would you suggest a mild version of a kink once or twice to see how it sits with you . Before jumping into the deep end . Which again is typically how I do things

Again thank you for the advice

[Vixenrose]

Hello I'm Denise and I'm a new sub I've never done this before and I want to learn more about this bdsm lifestyle and I'm willing to learn and take advice.  I'm 52 and I have a mental disability autism adhd diabetes depression anxiety and asthma plus I'm overweight and have missing teeth from being ***d in the past.  But I'm not afraid to meet people and trust them. 

[Ava669]

Hi Vixenrose. I too am relatively new to being a sub RIL. But I have done a great amount of research and self reflection and I can give you some helpful advice, well I hope it’s helpful anyway! Trust and respect our key. And I promise you there are people out there that will treat you with respect. They will also understand your strength and weaknesses and work with you. One big factor, trust your instincts. Never meet up with someone unless you work completely, completely comfortable with this person. Never do anything that doesn’t sit right with you if they don’t respect that… Get rid of them.