Be A Chameleon

[Deleted Member]

There is no irony here, just putting a thought out there that has been brewing for a number of years.

 

We all know the saying, "Jack of all trades, but master of none" right? I personally think that was started by someone who was jealous of anothers ability to adapt to a given situation. We all have things that we bring to the table, an area we are proficient in, but what about those things we have little or no knowledge of? A lady who likes rope has recently caught my eye, and I am the first to admit I know nothing about it. I have never tied anyone in any shape or form. So now what? My thinking is that should she, by chance, get closer then it is beholden upon me to address that. What I CAN do is find local venues that will teach me what I need to know, and get us both there. While I learn what it takes to satisfy her craving, she gets to be a willing bunny. A win-win if ever there was one, yes?

Can we honestly look at ourselves and acknowledge there are areas we are lacking in? You may be a strict Dominant who is all about control and obedience...but how is your aftercare and comfort provision compared to others? You may say that the submissive knows not to expect it, as they accept they belong to you, but can it really diminish your Domliness? Taking that extra step, and learning how to give those much-needed cuddles after intense play may just make all the difference to you AND the submissive. I have known ladies who have flitted between different types of Dominant, and each one has been lacking in something for them. One wasn't firm enough, one too harsh, the other too controlling, and yet more have been too soft on them. Some were great in one aspect, others in different areas, but none quite "did it". The reason for the flitting is that they were looking for the complete package...that Jack Of All Trades.

When we browse the profiles of the lovely offerings in here, how often do we skip one due to their listing of something we know nothing about in favour of one that is on "safe" ground. We know what they want. We can do that. Have you ever thought on what you may be missing if you don't apply yourself to learning these things? Is it difficult? Hell no, there are masses of places you can get the knowledge you need. All it takes is the desire to become a little more rounded than you are right now. Why wait until it becomes an issue? How many experiences have you missed through the lack of application?

I suggest that all of us aspire to be that Jack Of All Trades. Lose the tunnel vision, and the stick-in-the-mud "I am what I am" s***ch. Be the Jack Of All Trades.

Blow their minds.

Edited October 16, 2021 by Deleted Member

[PassionateAngel]

We should look at our areas of what we do not know. To smell a ‘rat’ which I have encountered many times here of everyone being experienced. I openly admit I’m new to it all. Yet I find others who state they know everything and done it all.. for me be honest, be open as we should entirely be in this ‘world’. To know your limits and to know what you can or cannot do; is ideal as there are events and classes out there for both to learn and grow. No shame in not knowing it all

[Deleted Member]

Just now, PassionateAngel said:

We should look at our areas of what we do not know. To smell a ‘rat’ which I have encountered many times here of everyone being experienced. I openly admit I’m new to it all. Yet I find others who state they know everything and done it all.. for me be honest, be open as we should entirely be in this ‘world’. To know your limits and to know what you can or cannot do; is ideal as there are events and classes out there for both to learn and grow. No shame in not knowing it all

I agree with you completely, Angel, what I am suggesting is that we can broaden our knowledge outside of a relationship before it becomes an issue or stops us from forming one in the first place. No-one can, or should claim, to know it all, yet within this Life knowledge increases awareness, and improves safety. It can also be a great deal of fun!

[qu****]

And of course this applies not to just kink/BDSM but across life, even if it's just discovering a hobby where you can just forget and relax, doesn't matter what it is just as long as you enjoy it, I hope this reads right ☺️

[CopperKnob]

In a way, I agree in any relationship there are compromises, each party arrives with their own interests vanilla or kink and it's nice to think that one would take an interest in the others 'hobbies'
But, to learn about something with a view that a relationship is initiated/maintained? I think thats more about changing who you are with a hope that something will occur based on 'common ground'.
For example, recently chatting to someone about their vanilla hobby I knew nothing about and had absolutely no interest in. However, I was interested in listening them to talk about it, learn about it from them and listen to the passion in their voice and facial expressions as they spoke etc.
I didn't go off and learn about that interest with a view to starting/maintaining a conversation/relationship/dynamic with them.
Rope I think is slightly different to other kinks. Yes you need to learn the safety aspects, where to lay the rope etc etc, but theres more to it, just as a bunny has a want/need to be tied in order that they feel the sensations they crave, theres the Riggers need/s also to consider. If rope does nothing for you on a sensual level, it would be nothing more than a tick box exercise.

[Deleted Member]

29 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

In a way, I agree in any relationship there are compromises, each party arrives with their own interests vanilla or kink and it's nice to think that one would take an interest in the others 'hobbies'
But, to learn about something with a view that a relationship is initiated/maintained? I think thats more about changing who you are with a hope that something will occur based on 'common ground'.
For example, recently chatting to someone about their vanilla hobby I knew nothing about and had absolutely no interest in. However, I was interested in listening them to talk about it, learn about it from them and listen to the passion in their voice and facial expressions as they spoke etc.
I didn't go off and learn about that interest with a view to starting/maintaining a conversation/relationship/dynamic with them.
Rope I think is slightly different to other kinks. Yes you need to learn the safety aspects, where to lay the rope etc etc, but theres more to it, just as a bunny has a want/need to be tied in order that they feel the sensations they crave, theres the Riggers need/s also to consider. If rope does nothing for you on a sensual level, it would be nothing more than a tick box exercise.

I agree in most of what you say, CopperKnob, it would be disingenuous to learn something in the hope of directly affecting someones view of you. In the case of rope, as I said I know nothing, so I asked them to describe what it meant to them. From what they told me, and their passion for it, I know I will get a great deal of pleasure from making that happen and reaping the rewards.

[StickyTrickster]

Hear, hear.  I’ve long subscribed to the longer variation of, “Jack of all trades, a master of none but oft better than a master of one.”  As a result in the real world I’ve degrees in Combined STEM and Psychology and have gained experience in graphic design, video and audio production and post production, web design, software development, 3D modelling and animation, creative writing and engineering as a result.

Sure as a Jack I’m aware of my limitations in each area I work in (which is better than someone that doesn’t know their own limitations to begin with) but where it truly allows me to shine is in creativity.

Creativity is all about making connections.  Asking how things relate or how can I use this thing in another area and so forth.  Steve Job’s linking his interest in calligraphy with computers resulted in introducing multiple fonts to computers.  And everything Leonardo Da Vinci did was a result of not constraining his creativity to a single area.

In terms of kink I keep trying to explore areas I’m unfamiliar with.  Even if I think it might not like it (I can sometime be surprised) but usually for two other reasons.  The first reason is I’d like to understand why others like it in case a future partner of mine also likes that thing so I can better accommodate it.  My favourite avenue of domination is pleasure control and so I can derive satisfaction from satisfying my partner’s desires (even if it is one I don’t share) for a reward as well as enjoy teasing and denying it for fun or a punishment.

The second reason is that it can help inspire other ideas.  My thing is that I like to create kinky games – not just out of other games but out of anything really from self-development goals to chores.  I like to find ways of making things I’d personally find boring more entertaining by building a game around it.  And so by looking through some areas I wasn’t initially interested in I’ve been able to come up with fun kinky games based off some of them that can be a fun way of trying something different that I’ll add to my “101 Kinky Games to Play With a Partner” (in truth I’ve actually probably now got way over 101 game ideas noted down but that’s a better title than whatever the real number probably is).

But anyway the short version of all that is being a Jack also stimulates creativity that can help prevent things going stale which that alone is worth considering even without all the benefits of learning and self-improvement to go with it.

[Leisa]

15 hours ago, StickyTrickster said:

Hear, hear.  I’ve long subscribed to the longer variation of, “Jack of all trades, a master of none but oft better than a master of one.”  As a result in the real world I’ve degrees in Combined STEM and Psychology and have gained experience in graphic design, video and audio production and post production, web design, software development, 3D modelling and animation, creative writing and engineering as a result.

Sure as a Jack I’m aware of my limitations in each area I work in (which is better than someone that doesn’t know their own limitations to begin with) but where it truly allows me to shine is in creativity.

Creativity is all about making connections.  Asking how things relate or how can I use this thing in another area and so forth.  Steve Job’s linking his interest in calligraphy with computers resulted in introducing multiple fonts to computers.  And everything Leonardo Da Vinci did was a result of not constraining his creativity to a single area.

In terms of kink I keep trying to explore areas I’m unfamiliar with.  Even if I think it might not like it (I can sometime be surprised) but usually for two other reasons.  The first reason is I’d like to understand why others like it in case a future partner of mine also likes that thing so I can better accommodate it.  My favourite avenue of domination is pleasure control and so I can derive satisfaction from satisfying my partner’s desires (even if it is one I don’t share) for a reward as well as enjoy teasing and denying it for fun or a punishment.

The second reason is that it can help inspire other ideas.  My thing is that I like to create kinky games – not just out of other games but out of anything really from self-development goals to chores.  I like to find ways of making things I’d personally find boring more entertaining by building a game around it.  And so by looking through some areas I wasn’t initially interested in I’ve been able to come up with fun kinky games based off some of them that can be a fun way of trying something different that I’ll add to my “101 Kinky Games to Play With a Partner” (in truth I’ve actually probably now got way over 101 game ideas noted down but that’s a better title than whatever the real number probably is).

But anyway the short version of all that is being a Jack also stimulates creativity that can help prevent things going stale which that alone is worth considering even without all the benefits of learning and self-improvement to go with it.

Huh? You went off the rails quite a bit and missed the entire point of the OP.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Leisa said:

Huh? You went off the rails quite a bit and missed the entire point of the OP.

Nothing new there Leisa ~rolls eyes~ a typical Post Pirate

[StickyTrickster]

5 hours ago, Leisa said:

Huh? You went off the rails quite a bit and missed the entire point of the OP.

 

3 hours ago, TheScribe said:

Nothing new there Leisa ~rolls eyes~ a typical Post Pirate

The point I got from the original point was the suggestion that rather than sticking rigidly to one thing reaching outside of our comfort areas allows us to become more rounded individuals and learn more to be better able to cater to future partners.

I agreed with that point and wished to contribute other benefits I also thought came from doing that.

My mistake was believing this was a community open to a diverse range of perspectives.  If I have indeed misinterpreted the original post I'd welcome the opportunity for someone to explain it further so that I might learn more.  I don't see how any community is benefitted by responding simply with rudeness and contempt to anyone attempting to make an honest contribution to a discussion.

[Leisa]

4 minutes ago, StickyTrickster said:

The point I got from the original point was the suggestion that rather than sticking rigidly to one thing reaching outside of our comfort areas allows us to become more rounded individuals and learn more to be better able to cater to future partners.

I agreed with that point and wished to contribute other benefits I also thought came from doing that.

My mistake was believing this was a community open to a diverse range of perspectives.  If I have indeed misinterpreted the original post I'd welcome the opportunity for someone to explain it further so that I might learn more.  I don't see how any community is benefitted by responding simply with rudeness and contempt to anyone attempting to make an honest contribution to a discussion.

It’s not being rude to want someone to stick strictly to the topics being discussed. If you’d like to go off on a tangent and discuss other variables then absolutely make your own posts and use your desires to do so.

[StickyTrickster]

16 minutes ago, Leisa said:

It’s not being rude to want someone to stick strictly to the topics being discussed. If you’d like to go off on a tangent and discuss other variables then absolutely make your own posts and use your desires to do so.

Well I thought I was remaining on the topic of why it is beneficial to attempt to be more of a Jack of all Trades than to stick to mastering one.

You can make any point you like in a way that is either polite or rude.  Either of you could, as I have requested, politely explain why I've either missed the point or why you don't think it is on topic.  Or you could both rudely claim I didn't understand things without explaining them or dismiss them as a "post pirate".

It isn't rude to wish for a discussion topic to go any particular way.  It is rude, if you are not a moderator to take it upon yourself to gatekeep to say only those that meet your criteria may contribute to a conversation.

One of the reasons I am this site is to learn, I know at times I can be a little verbose when it comes to making my points - it is a bane of my own existence being an unfortunate consequence of my dyspraxia struggling to organise my thoughts coherently.  But a point being long doesn't automatically make it off topic, if you'd care to explain why I've either not got the point of the topic or why mine is not in support of that topic I'm all ears to learn. 

[Leisa]

13 minutes ago, StickyTrickster said:

Well I thought I was remaining on the topic of why it is beneficial to attempt to be more of a Jack of all Trades than to stick to mastering one.

You can make any point you like in a way that is either polite or rude.  Either of you could, as I have requested, politely explain why I've either missed the point or why you don't think it is on topic.  Or you could both rudely claim I didn't understand things without explaining them or dismiss them as a "post pirate".

It isn't rude to wish for a discussion topic to go any particular way.  It is rude, if you are not a moderator to take it upon yourself to gatekeep to say only those that meet your criteria may contribute to a conversation.

One of the reasons I am this site is to learn, I know at times I can be a little verbose when it comes to making my points - it is a bane of my own existence being an unfortunate consequence of my dyspraxia struggling to organise my thoughts coherently.  But a point being long doesn't automatically make it off topic, if you'd care to explain why I've either not got the point of the topic or why mine is not in support of that topic I'm all ears to learn. 

It’s been answered and I refuse to continue to engage with you. Best of luck.

[StickyTrickster]

2 minutes ago, Leisa said:

It’s been answered and I refuse to continue to engage with you. Best of luck.

No worries, I didn't think you'd be of any further assistance.  I have taken the liberty of reporting my own initial reply in this post along with the message, "Posters later in thread have accused this of being off topic, please review this and subsequent posts in this thread and make a judgement and give appropriate feedback," to the moderating team so they might be able to clear things up for me.