Seeking context on gay BDSM culture

[TheGremlin]

A little context of my own - I'm a poly, pansexual man who has, due to hetero relationship being mono for many years until recently, not been involved in LGBTQ+ circles or indeed kink circles for a long time.

 

Basically, I'm looking for a bit of context to help understand gay culture and the cultural context I'm lacking when exploring the gay BDSM scene. It's confusing if you aren't used to it!

 

This is going to be a bit stream of consciousness I suspect...

 

1) It feels very much like it's a common theme in gay BDSM personals at least is that a lot of the times subs are expected to express low personal worth - there's a lot of "I'm an alpha and I'm superior to submissives, you were born to serve me", a lot of "you know what you want submissive [f-slur]", a lot of implying a sub should forget themselves and admit they dream of being something somehow lesser. I find this weird, from outside the cultural context - is there a better place to find power exchange that views submission as an honour and a gift rather than an admission of worthlessness? Maybe I'm on the wrong sites? Is this just a bit of discourse to set the mood but then you can develop a loving power exchange with said people?

2) What exactly should I understand a "houseboi" to be?

3) Just out of curiosity this one - it seems like every other profile references a kink for feet, trainers, socks, or sniffing all of the above. Is there some cultural thing I'm missing? In hetero kink circles I hardly see that as a thing at all, but sooo many ads for sock-sniffing...

4) Is there an accepted way to signal I'm looking for a D/s relationship, not to meet, fuck/get beaten, and leave? It seems a lot of the conversations have been very direct and I'm unsure if I'm accidentally signalling I'm more open to casual things than I am.

5) CP is what I'd call impact play, right? Similarly, is FF fisting?

6) What is the cultural context behind the subgroups of pigs, and pups? Both seem very common, I know more about pups than pigs but not really au fait with either.

7) Is there a good way of distinguishing between a "dop top" who is basically someone who likes to be in charge and fuck rough, and someone who is actively into BDSM?

Sure I will think of, and add, more questions!

[RosesHaveThorns75]

As a collector of gays mens magazines & I've read different parts of their issues/stuff some comments  part 3) yeah guys socks & jockstraps/breifs & sports wear (football kit for example) & exercise wear uniforms & leather interests/fetish very common & used clothing items as it's dirty/nasty/rough etc......have a market for buyers in the same way as women's "worn panties" do!!! Working class guys clothing or chavs wear is sometimes part of that fetish) such as used trainers & jockstraps & soiled socks 🙊

Yeah judging by some of the club/scene pics which kinda follow a theme I've seen the receptive or bottom is often pretty much viewed as an unpaid prostitute and eXpected to be or will  (try to gain attention as) there to "be used" ☹️ it's pretty crude & seems pretty emotionless & disconnected if you wanted anything more meaningfull.......I've read letters in the forums from some guys where they'd felt rushed or used & ***d & pretty much some got near ***ed because as the submissive or bottom the guys they'd met/hooked up with hadn't bothered to "get in the groove" take their time or get to know them as actual guys ☹️ the dominant guy just kinda eXpected stuff straight off regardless of their preferences!!! They just took advantage in a not sexy sense There are some angry gay guys out there now and some judging by the letters pages have gotten defensive because of a lack of respect and a lack of equalitys and yeah being objectified when they didn't ask to be 😬💀 there are some issues in the scene......I'm just a reader/student though so!! Just general comments but I've read quite a lot of stuff and it comes off as very promiscuous and often chancy!! As well as some cooler stuff.....