What helps most when you're new?

[ge****]

2 hours ago, Tara-6914 said:

I'm very new to this. And I'm not the one to ask people for help as I don't want to be a burden or feel that I'm being judged for lack of my knowledge 😂 I've found reading forum a great help but would love some more information if anyone is willing to help.

Firstly don't ever feel you're either a burden or will be judged for asking questions or lacking knowledge - people that *do* judge you for that or view you that way aren't worth your time.

I'm a great believer in the only stupid question being the one you don't ask 😊

There are many ways to build that knowledge though, including the forums which you've already found - there are many resources out there too, good and bad, from blogs to books and other sites, questionnaires and more so seek them out and as I said don't be scared to ask questions, either openly or, if you don't feel you can, privately. Be wary of the "bad" but in some ways it's good to hear it as it will help with recognising the good.

There really is no single "right" way to all of this, although there are plenty of "wrong" ways so it's key to be able to differentiate them.

[Deleted Member]

Yesterday at 01:47 PM, Tara-6914 said:

I'm very new to this. And I'm not the one to ask people for help as I don't want to be a burden or feel that I'm being judged for lack of my knowledge 😂 I've found reading forum a great help but would love some more information if anyone is willing to help.

Hi Tara 🤗 Nope not a burden. Nope we are not judging you. We all start knowing nothing. The list of things I know nothing about is legion! Ask away on this thread and we will try and help or start a new thread. Or if you want some 1:1 help, feel free to message me 😁

[TheBookCollector]

Yesterday at 01:47 PM, Tara-6914 said:

I'm very new to this. And I'm not the one to ask people for help as I don't want to be a burden or feel that I'm being judged for lack of my knowledge 😂 I've found reading forum a great help but would love some more information if anyone is willing to help.

Honestly people dont find it a burden to help those new to the scene especially if it helps keep them safe and away from predators and unsafe people.

As @dragonflylover said post questions here,.on new threads or on the chat.

Remember there are no silly questions just lots of missed chances to learn.

[sm****]

I always tell new people take your time, don't jump in feet first.  It's hard when you first discover kink it's like being in an adults candy shop, you want everything.  Being too eager can be a turn off and a danger to yourself.

Spend your time, learning, reading getting to know people, never be afraid to ask a question, no matter how silly you may thing it is.   I see lots of so called old hands waving people off, or just ignoring them, they forget we were all new once.

I do also suggest trying to find a local or easy to travel too munch, to get to know real people in a safe environment.   I can't emphasise enough "get to know people in safe environments like munches, way too many people use an online persona to feel friendly and can use it to hide behind any persona.

It takes "Time" to get to know, trust people and them yourself, don't forget that.  Lay the solid foundations for your own and others safety, take small steps.

Take time to get to know various scene people as friends, never underestimate a good scene friendship base, this like in vanilla land, takes various amounts of time and learning experiences in steps.

 

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Thursday at 03:57 PM, TheBookCollector said:

Honestly people dont find it a burden to help those new to the scene especially if it helps keep them safe and away from predators and unsafe people.

As @dragonflylover said post questions here,.on new threads or on the chat.

Remember there are no silly questions just lots of missed chances to learn.

Definitely no silly questions. 😁

[Dancingbear225]

I'm not new to the idea, but a complete noob when it comes to techniques. I would love to be a great rigger, but the only knot I can tie is a square knot I learned when I was a cub scout. I want to be a good Dom with a sure hand so I can give my sub what she craves. Question, ask, and practice, practice, practice. 

[Deleted Member]

I’m new to this and was overwhelmed with messages and people telling me to do this and that .. sending me lists , train me and lots of other stuff ..
I then didn’t know who to trust and what was right ..
I’ve been on here a while now but tbh been nervous about writing in here ..
however first post done ..

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, Dancingbear225 said:

I'm not new to the idea, but a complete noob when it comes to techniques. I would love to be a great rigger, but the only knot I can tie is a square knot I learned when I was a cub scout. I want to be a good Dom with a sure hand so I can give my sub what she craves. Question, ask, and practice, practice, practice. 

There were some rope book & video recommendations in the thread I started on BDSM books. Useful perhaps?

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, XxxTinksxxx said:

I’m new to this and was overwhelmed with messages and people telling me to do this and that .. sending me lists , train me and lots of other stuff ..
I then didn’t know who to trust and what was right ..
I’ve been on here a while now but tbh been nervous about writing in here ..
however first post done ..

Oh lurking is definitely a good approach to start with! I think I lurked know the chat room for weeks. Yay for your first post, I will look out for it!

[Dancingbear225]

4 hours ago, Dragonflylover said:

There were some rope book & video recommendations in the thread I started on BDSM books. Useful perhaps?

I will certainly look for them. Thanks.

[Dustydawn]

Ok so I’m completely new to this, and honestly have no idea where to start…any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Brat83]

I'm new to this but been told I have major brat vibes...I'm looking for a female sub to be my friend and take me under her wing...if anyone would like to meet for a coffee n chat,feel free to message me❤

[Deleted Member]

December 8, Dustydawn said:

Ok so I’m completely new to this, and honestly have no idea where to start…any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

I seem to have missed a couple of notifications. What's the first thing that you feel you need advice on? 👋🏻👋🏻

[Deleted Member]

December 23, Brat83 said:

I'm new to this but been told I have major brat vibes...I'm looking for a female sub to be my friend and take me under her wing...if anyone would like to meet for a coffee n chat,feel free to message me❤

I'm a bit far away for a coffee - but feel free to message. I'm personally not very bratty but happy to chat 😁

[Lickablesweetness]

I am a newbie and have been thinking of how I can be able to become more submissive for a Dom I found. I am trying hard not to mess up the connection. What advice would you give me? Where is the best stage to start with him? I just need help.Thanks.

[Brat83]

Would love to find a mentor 😊