CNC

[la****]

I want to learn about how to safely practice CNC and your experiences with it! Always been interested, never brought it up to a partner

[Fr****]

I have it 4 times

[Deleted Member]

I have some experience with this

[PrimalExplorer]

What would you like to know

[Da****]

Have some experience with this honesty best practice is fully understanding what both partners are comfortable with in that kind of scene limits to not cross on both ends and such it also can take certain people a bit to get into that kinda mindset

[Mi****]

Biggest thing to CNC is CONSENT. Consent to things from both you and your partner. Boundaries should be set and not crossed. Safe words and safety are paramount. Trust is very important. I recommend you find someone and learn with them and them alone before branching out, if you choose to one day.

[ey****]

Like a lot of stuff. Communication is key.  As is trust.

So for example with safety - you do want to make sure the partner you are doing this with is not going to do something they feel they can safely manage.  

You might also have some things which are, ultimately, nos - and you might need the right level of trust with someone that while there is an awful lot they can do which you would have relinquished control over - there might still be ultimately no nos. Obviously common sense applies.

There is someone who briefly asked me about CNC and we've not discussed it properly. I know going the other way there are actually things they would hope I would do to them, that I actually wouldn't want to. And that is also important on communication.

 

[da****]

What is CNC

[Mi****]

“What is CNC” Consensual Non Consent

[ey****]

I think to further explain CNC rather than just expanding the acronym.

CNC tends to be more 'anything goes' - words like no, and safewords, and so on *tend* to have no meaning here.  That you are consensually, giving up consent.

Of course a common activity within this is any form of imposed intercourse where no/stop/etc is ignored (which would probably need someone strong willed to also go through with it) but wouldn't necessarily be limited to just that.  Things like limits could also be off the table.

Obviously this isn't an entirely binary thing.  Obviously trust is really important here as I say because there still may be some ultimate lines not to be crossed - and of course, if you are the person doing the actions - you do have to be sure within yourself you are doing the right thing.

[Deleted Member]

  11 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

CNC tends to be more 'anything goes' - words like no, and safewords, and so on *tend* to have no meaning here.  That you are consensually, giving up consent

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That's an interesting take. I thought that especially in CNC a clear safe word would be needed to make sure that there is an immediate get out if things get out of hand. Otherwise it might turn into something that was not intended. For me personally, I absolutely would need the safe word to accept giving up consent. This way I could fight and try to stop what's happening without ever worrying that something seriously dangerous to my body or my mind might happen and thus ultimately keeping control of the situation. I understand you adding the word *tend* as a means to leave space for views like mine, but I somehow cannot see how it ever could work without a safe word if it is supposed to stay safe and sane. 

[ey****]

  44 minutes ago, tazzy said:

That's an interesting take. I thought that especially in CNC a clear safe word would be needed to make sure that there is an immediate get out if things get out of hand. Otherwise it might turn into something that was not intended. For me personally, I absolutely would need the safe word to accept giving up consent. This way I could fight and try to stop what's happening without ever worrying that something seriously dangerous to my body or my mind might happen and thus ultimately keeping control of the situation. I understand you adding the word *tend* as a means to leave space for views like mine, but I somehow cannot see how it ever could work without a safe word if it is supposed to stay safe and sane. 

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So my empathise on the word tend was kinda also to say - ultimately - it doesn't have to be anything other than what works for you / those involved.

But

You wouldn't tend to do CNC, either as a scene or as an ongoing dynamic, with anyone you didn't have a certainty of trust on - and that's a two way thing.    It also may very well be boring if the Dominant just goes "OK, these are your limits I'm going to work through them" or intentionally pushing high levels of ***  - but a lot of the point is still the relinquish of control.

Another thing is a lot of people *say* CNC but usually mean something quite specific - often that it will be some form of ***d or imposed intercourse - which is totally valid, but it's often a more specific scenario.

But also, on top of everything else.   Like.  The only wrong ways in kink is the ways that don't work for you.   You could explore boundaries and extremes with a get out clause.  You also don't have to do any form of CNC to enjoy kink.

[Deleted Member]

  12 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Another thing is a lot of people *say* CNC but usually mean something quite specific - often that it will be some form of ***d or imposed intercourse - which is totally valid, but it's often a more specific scenario.

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Now that is a very valid point! I have to admit that for me too the physical side of it comes to mind when I think of it. But of course, if that is not the main focus.. then I can see the idea of actually agreeing to giving up control completely being a thing. Food for thoughts there, thank you! 

[ey****]

  4 hours ago, tazzy said:

Now that is a very valid point! I have to admit that for me too the physical side of it comes to mind when I think of it. But of course, if that is not the main focus.. then I can see the idea of actually agreeing to giving up control completely being a thing. Food for thoughts there, thank you! 

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A long time ago - I went to my first workshop and there were two male presenters sharing their story.   The first was just a male sub who had been about a  year and talking his journey

The other a bit older, been about a bit, and he was into CNC - he sometimes found it difficult to find people to play with (even in paid sessions) but literally in this time - nothing was technically off limits as he loved the idea of surrendering control.  Whether this was high level beatings - whether the Mistress would suddenly pull out a guy to have his way with him - pretty much any deemed extreme plays.  

I think for me : I'm not going to approach anyone and ask for a CNC scene - because, there's just so much that is outside of what I can do.  I'm not an extreme player, a lot of stuff doesn't excite me.

If someone approached me about a CNC scene - I'd probably sit down and clarify what they mean.  Because I might not feel comfortable penetrating them if they're crying or saying no.  Even if that's what they want.  And I might feel comfortable needing to go to the toilet, and then asking them to rim me before flushing their head down the unflushed toilet - which might be a total no no for them.

[KitelessBanstyle]

Not been involved in a CNC scene but would imagine that clear communication and clarity on hard limits and safe words are imperative here.

[Ne****]

Doing some research. Ok I’m getting the impression this kink isn’t actually related to sweet DIY tools.

[Deleted Member]

  6 hours ago, buffalo702 said:

Doing some research. Ok I’m getting the impression this kink isn’t actually related to sweet DIY tools.

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🤣 That made me do some research into tools. You learn something newv every day. 👍

[Deleted Member]

Take a look through the online munch posts if i remember rightly CNC was one of the topics. There are a few kinksters who are into it they would be the ones to ask. I tend to hang about in the lobby and its one of the forbidden topics due to its triggering nature. I do find it  intriguing tho 

[lo****]

Would love to comment, but find it’s a very Tutchie subject. Think you have to be very positive about who you are with and what you are going to do with your sub, some like to be ***ed, roped, and flogged, left in the woods for a night,then taken to another level that’s out of there control, YOU have control and power completely, but you must bring them down gradually and smother them with love, 😈🪢⛓♥️

[Deleted Member]

Be very vocal about your feelings, wants, your thoughts, as well as your intentions and issues with the matters of cnc make sure you’ve built that strong close and deep bond with said person before doing anything. And make sure to have a well established understanding of each other and what’s ok and isn’t and a safeword