Dancingbear225 Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 I have fought my kinks for most of my life because I was taught that they were the absolute wrong way to treat a woman. Needless to say my sex life has been unsatisfying. The sad thing is I have often attracted subs to me, but refused to give them what they craved because I had been taught it was wrong. It's taken me most of my life to learn that behavior that is mutually beneficial to consenting adults is never wrong. I will say that whenever consent is ***d or coerced it's just wrong. I am a heterosexual Dom and I'm a feminist. I think everyone, no matter their gender, should live, work, and play however they like. What works for me may not work for you, and vice versa, but that's okay.
Mosquitor Posted December 6, 2021 Posted December 6, 2021 For me I find they don't interfere so much, they'll pop into my mind several times a day, for years I had felt bad about them and been hoping to somehow get rid of them, but in more recent years I have been coming to accept it's not unusual to have fantasies that differ from what we're told should be 'normal' and that I should embrace them as a part of who I am. I've been taking to writing them down in detail to get them off my chest and understand them better, and I've found that the***utic; then more recently I finally started having therapy sessions with a qualified sexologist and these have really helped me get a better understanding of my fantasies, how they relate to certain experiences in childhood and how I can manage them going forth. I had been worried that my fantasies could potentially disturb a partner of mine should I get into a serious relationship, but my therapist and also two friends I've confided them in say they're harmless and there's no reason a partner should be disturbed by them if I'm open about them, and that some may even be up for exploring them with me. Which is what brings me to this site really, to meet other people who've had similar experiences...
Dustykat Posted December 7, 2021 Author Posted December 7, 2021 On 12/5/2021 at 12:46 AM, Dancingbear225 said: I have fought my kinks for most of my life because I was taught that they were the absolute wrong way to treat a woman. Needless to say my sex life has been unsatisfying. The sad thing is I have often attracted subs to me, but refused to give them what they craved because I had been taught it was wrong. It's taken me most of my life to learn that behavior that is mutually beneficial to consenting adults is never wrong. I will say that whenever consent is ***d or coerced it's just wrong. I am a heterosexual Dom and I'm a feminist. I think everyone, no matter their gender, should live, work, and play however they like. What works for me may not work for you, and vice versa, but that's okay. I think we all grew up thinking that way and luckily some of us figure out a way to use it and work our moral dilemma🧚‍♀️
Dustykat Posted December 7, 2021 Author Posted December 7, 2021 21 hours ago, Mosquitor said: For me I find they don't interfere so much, they'll pop into my mind several times a day, for years I had felt bad about them and been hoping to somehow get rid of them, but in more recent years I have been coming to accept it's not unusual to have fantasies that differ from what we're told should be 'normal' and that I should embrace them as a part of who I am. I've been taking to writing them down in detail to get them off my chest and understand them better, and I've found that the***utic; then more recently I finally started having therapy sessions with a qualified sexologist and these have really helped me get a better understanding of my fantasies, how they relate to certain experiences in childhood and how I can manage them going forth. I had been worried that my fantasies could potentially disturb a partner of mine should I get into a serious relationship, but my therapist and also two friends I've confided them in say they're harmless and there's no reason a partner should be disturbed by them if I'm open about them, and that some may even be up for exploring them with me. Which is what brings me to this site really, to meet other people who've had similar experiences... What is normal, if you think of it none of us are what is normal and why do we want to be so badly. What you started to do is understand like I did is to find ways to like ourselves and happy to hear your on your way.🧚‍♀️
Deleted Member Posted December 8, 2021 Posted December 8, 2021 My kinks, the ones I held for a long time, and the newly acquired ones, have ever been on the edge, just under the surface. Until I’m open with someone, they start to come alive, some are dark, really quite, but some are just fucking joyful, light and fun. When I haven’t been able to express these with a “mate” I’ve turned around and just developed those ideas further.. waiting until I can share.
Dustykat Posted December 8, 2021 Author Posted December 8, 2021 12 minutes ago, Feral_MountianKing said: My kinks, the ones I held for a long time, and the newly acquired ones, have ever been on the edge, just under the surface. Until I’m open with someone, they start to come alive, some are dark, really quite, but some are just fucking joyful, light and fun. When I haven’t been able to express these with a “mate” I’ve turned around and just developed those ideas further.. waiting until I can share. Well we all have different needs and desires and with time you all meet someone you can trust enough to share them with. It is an amazing feeling to have and takes time.🧚‍♀️
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