How do you spot the fakes & Scammers

[4R****]

Tuesday at 07:10 AM, TheBookCollector said:

The only other fetish social media site i would recomend is Fetlife.com as it is the best way to find an upto date list of events and munches.

To see if someones profile picture is real ask them to post a picture holding a piece of paper with username and date on, most fakes will try and put you off.

You can also video chat with them through the app,.very difficult to hide who you are.

As to whether someone is just interested in a notch on the bed post or looking for cyber they will start to get very sexual very quickly.

They will want to meet for play immediately, rather than a public meet for a coffee and face to face with no chance of play.

They will match exactly what your kinks are.

Ask if they are on fetlife,.check them out there,.look at the people they friend, on a mans profile if all friends are women of a certain age group/range and geographically diverse not clustered they are a player.

Even then you cant be 100% sure, so trust your gut instinct about whether they are genuine or not. That feeling that something isnt right in what they are saying.

What do you mean about the friends bit at the end?

[TheBookCollector]

5 minutes ago, SirArchA said:

What do you mean about the friends bit at the end?

So most people active in the community will have a mix of Dominants, submissives,switches across the age bands.

A male profile.with.100's of friends where 90% of friends are female in a fixed range of 20-30. Should be viewed with caution especially if those 'friends' have 'will accept.all freind requests' or are fet celebrities.

[ey****]

Yep someone's friendlist says a lot about them and, it doesn't ring too true on sites where friend lists aren't all that important - but - particularly sites (like) Fetlife it tells a story.

How important this story is depends also on what they're telling you.

And some things might be on how you interpret things, but still

If someone has a friend request consisting of a lot of people in their locality then there is a good chance they are active on the local scene.

(so someone claiming to be active, or claiming to have previously run events, who doesn't have these - it doesn't add up)

If someone has a high volume of people they "follow" this may be that they've sent out a large amount of unanswered speculative friend requests.

And yep if their friends list is largely just women they want to fuck then they're playing a numbers game.

Of course is someone is clearly new they may not have that many friends.
But equally if you are a lady who has received an approach and you go to their profile and find, especially if the time stamp they messaged you is similar to a time they followed a whole bunch of other women - it does scream "this person has messaged half the site"

For assorted reasons I try to keep my friends list down on FL - mostly cos I no longer am a paid supporter and so I want to kinda see people I like and not just randos who are lovebombing flooding the feed.

Which, also, someone's feed activity can be a flag or not, as for the groups they are in.
While some might feel this isn't 'fair' there's stuff that's telling.

If you see a lady making a post on FL of what is known as "thirst posting" if you see their profile also has them in and swapping tips in assorted Findom groups, you know that when you take the bait they're going to spring you with an OF link or want for tribute.

[TheBookCollector]

19 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Yep someone's friendlist says a lot about them and, it doesn't ring too true on sites where friend lists aren't all that important - but - particularly sites (like) Fetlife it tells a story.

How important this story is depends also on what they're telling you.

And some things might be on how you interpret things, but still

If someone has a friend request consisting of a lot of people in their locality then there is a good chance they are active on the local scene.

(so someone claiming to be active, or claiming to have previously run events, who doesn't have these - it doesn't add up)

If someone has a high volume of people they "follow" this may be that they've sent out a large amount of unanswered speculative friend requests.

And yep if their friends list is largely just women they want to fuck then they're playing a numbers game.

Of course is someone is clearly new they may not have that many friends.
But equally if you are a lady who has received an approach and you go to their profile and find, especially if the time stamp they messaged you is similar to a time they followed a whole bunch of other women - it does scream "this person has messaged half the site"

For assorted reasons I try to keep my friends list down on FL - mostly cos I no longer am a paid supporter and so I want to kinda see people I like and not just randos who are lovebombing flooding the feed.

Which, also, someone's feed activity can be a flag or not, as for the groups they are in.
While some might feel this isn't 'fair' there's stuff that's telling.

If you see a lady making a post on FL of what is known as "thirst posting" if you see their profile also has them in and swapping tips in assorted Findom groups, you know that when you take the bait they're going to spring you with an OF link or want for tribute.

I only have about 50 friends and all but about 5 are local to me that ive met at events

[ey****]

I'd not really noticed but - I've got 500+ friends and 400+ people follow me

But an awful lot of these friends I have met, or interacted with on one platform or another - a lot were also before the "follow" function when people wanted to friend me because of some of my blog posts or, usually, some of the pictures (90%+ of I can't post here as they contain other people as well as me) 

Though it's not a contest.