So what is vanilla sex

[Ma****]

Am I right in thinking it's the tender side of sexual behaviour? If so, what counts as too far to come under that heading? As I'm fairly new here I think it is a good place to learn, I'm all for that.

[Just4fun92]

Vanilla is just basic sex that normal people do. Missionary and shit like that.

[BigPolly]

Vanilla sex is anything you can just about bare talking about to your parents....anything more & you start opening that door to a different world 😂. No, you can have tender or erotic bdsm Each persons limits are different so where as some would class 50 shades as bdsm others like myself would class that as more vanilla. However not everyone will play to the extremes that some of us perform some people only want to go as far as light bondage. So if something feels kinky or taboo or extreme to you then that’s heading outside vanilla. It’s a very personal thing.

[Lugnut-4292]

@BigPolly

Great description. I'm certainly on the lighter side than many but definitely would not want to discuss with my parents. I did lend my mother a book about being submissive and that was the last I ever heard about the subject from her. I think she may have burned the evil book:)

 

@wilkie

The boundaries are very blurred. One person's kink is another's vanilla. Personally I would not get too worked up about strict definitions. Just do what you enjoy within the bounds on consent, safety etc. If it turns you on to think of it as kinky then great. If you would rather think of it is vanilla then good for you.

L

Edited May 31, 2018 by lugnut

[Ma****]

3 hours ago, BigPolly said:

Vanilla sex is anything you can just about bare talking about to your parents....anything more & you start opening that door to a different world 😂. No, you can have tender or erotic bdsm Each persons limits are different so where as some would class 50 shades as bdsm others like myself would class that as more vanilla. However not everyone will play to the extremes that some of us perform some people only want to go as far as light bondage. So if something feels kinky or taboo or extreme to you then that’s heading outside vanilla. It’s a very personal thing.

well I did wonder, kissing a nipple then add nibbling it is still vanilla, pulling nipple with teeth still vanilla, but do you think clamps are vanilla,

[ey****]

what is vanilla? not kinky

what is kinky?

there is a little YMMV. As has been said.

I remember, at a party.  A young lady whispered to me "I heard you were really kinky", "I might be," I smiled, then she kinda blushed and had this great big secret she wanted to get off her chest and tell someone.

"Sometimes... I like to be blindfolded during sex"

Now, obviously on one hand I was a little bit disappointed.  (Not just cos she had sexy as fuck feet and I was hoping for the impossible, haha) but on another I thought it was a little cool and obviously to her it's a big thing - and I started swapping kind of beginners level tips with her about basic restraints and other ideas.

That there are people whose level and ideas of kink stops at an Ann Summers beginners guide to bondage set - and that's fine... buuuut... if they go onto a kinky website looking for a partner, then, it's gonna mismatch.

I think a little bit... could you comfortably tell someone what you're into early in a relationship or on a mainstream dating profile?  If so, it's probably vanilla.

Light bondage, slap and tickle, foot fetish.... all fairly vanilla.

But... nothing wrong with that.  But if that's a peak of interests, it possibly doesn't fit in with a kink scene. 

[3S****]

Oral is vanilla until you *** your guy to suck the dick of the guy you're about to fuck.

Sorry, i really want to cuckold someone and it's showing.

[Ma****]

O

13 hours ago, lugnut said:

@BigPolly

Great description. I'm certainly on the lighter side than many but definitely would not want to discuss with my parents. I did lend my mother a book about being submissive and that was the last I ever heard about the subject from her. I think she may have burned the evil book:)

evil book, I'm not moaning about my other half but she says i'm a bit of a perv, because I like a little ***, i.e. Fingernails in my ball sack, or bum cheek's , so maybe she would think its evil as well

@wilkie

The boundaries are very blurred. One person's kink is another's vanilla. Personally I would not get too worked up about strict definitions. Just do what you enjoy within the bounds on consent, safety etc. If it turns you on to think of it as kinky then great. If you would rather think of it is vanilla then good for you.

yes I see what you mean, you need, I need a bit more than the "normal" especially as im not getting anything apart from DIY,lol

 

[Ma****]

7 hours ago, 3SumQueen said:

Oral is vanilla until you *** your guy to suck the dick of the guy you're about to fuck.

Sorry, i really want to cuckold someone and it's showing.

well that would be more than just vanilla, how about making him suck after you have fucked him

[Ma****]

11 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

what is vanilla? not kinky

what is kinky?

there is a little YMMV. As has been said.

I remember, at a party.  A young lady whispered to me "I heard you were really kinky", "I might be," I smiled, then she kinda blushed and had this great big secret she wanted to get off her chest and tell someone.

"Sometimes... I like to be blindfolded during sex"

Now, obviously on one hand I was a little bit disappointed.  (Not just cos she had sexy as fuck feet and I was hoping for the impossible, haha) but on another I thought it was a little cool and obviously to her it's a big thing - and I started swapping kind of beginners level tips with her about basic restraints and other ideas.

That there are people whose level and ideas of kink stops at an Ann Summers beginners guide to bondage set - and that's fine... buuuut... if they go onto a kinky website looking for a partner, then, it's gonna mismatch.

I think a little bit... could you comfortably tell someone what you're into early in a relationship or on a mainstream dating profile?  If so, it's probably vanilla.

Light bondage, slap and tickle, foot fetish.... all fairly vanilla.

But... nothing wrong with that.  But if that's a peak of interests, it possibly doesn't fit in with a kink scene. 

this why I asked, seems to be a few ideas, but it seems if its "boring" then its vanilla,

[ey****]

Vanilla or otherwise, if it's boring you're doing it wrong

[Deleted Member]

I'd say it's a spectrum,  I'm sure some vanilla people never orgasm..... I'm sure some don't feel confident but then that might be some kinked people. 

Vanilla people might have fantasies or behaviours that could be considered kinky. 

I think if you talk about kink,  do kink,  think kink then those who don't are considered vanilla. 

🔥

[3S****]

11 hours ago, wilkie said:

well that would be more than just vanilla, how about making him suck after you have fucked him

Yes and in between as well.

[Ma****]

On ‎01‎/‎06‎/‎2018 at 6:55 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

Vanilla or otherwise, if it's boring you're doing it wrong

 

On ‎01‎/‎06‎/‎2018 at 6:55 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

Vanilla or otherwise, if it's boring you're doing it wrong

well I did put "boring", but I might be doing it wrong,any suggestions,lol

[ey****]

it's wholly into what you're into... I mean, there's suggestions on this thread of different levels.  

[Ma****]

51 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

it's wholly into what you're into... I mean, there's suggestions on this thread of different levels.  

that's why I'm here to find out what I like the sound of, Latex sounds fun, as does spanking, being made to do something that you haven't done, hmmm, that sounds good also,

[Ma****]

how about tying her to the bed naked and smearing peanut butter and Marmite over her and licking it off

[ey****]

I don't want to sound.... an arse

But, I dunno, a lot of sites have threads started by people looking for ideas for their wank bank rather than an actual discussion and this is the way this thread seems to be heading.

[Ma****]

well that one was added tongue in cheek, I expected someone to say disgusting, well not everyone loves Marmite

[ey****]

but then that could also be the point, if you don't like marmite.

[3S****]

I'd like to clarify i did not have  wank after my comment.

[Ma****]

and what comment did you make 3sumQueen,cant seem to see it

[Foxter]

Maybe let's go back to the original question.

It's alway been quit the debate as to what counts and what doesn't count. But I believe it comes down to the couple doing it if they decide it's vanilla or not. If a couple just likes to bite a little bit or suck something during sex, but that's normal for them. Then that's vanilla. 

 

But another couple could be more sexual into the idea of biting and sucking, and therefore would consider it to be a kink. 

Edited June 4, 2018 by Foxter

[Kaikou]

As you've been saying, it's all relative.

I had a guy .... I wonder if you're gonna believe this ... and I encouraged him to stroke my pussy. After so many sweet cajolings I eventually asked him why he was adverse to stroking my pussy. His reply - with all seriousness - "it's not what we (who is we?!?!) do". 

I accept that this is his mindset. Or his grandfather's mindset, sorry that's judgmental. I know that he "is scared of the bread-knife". An interesting and intensely frustrating relationship.

 

[Niteflyer]

On 5/31/2018 at 9:12 AM, Just4fun92 said:

Vanilla is just basic sex that normal people do. Missionary and shit like that.

‘Normal people’? 👀👀

Myself and my wife are very ‘normal’ but I can assure you our sex life is anything BUT vanilla. Lol