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Sexuality struggles


Nikki_Hexy

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Nikki_Hexy
Posted

I dont know how to start these kinda of things so I'm going to try and jump in at the start.

Throughout my ***age years I have always played the straight card, I was always curious but never acted on my curiosity. Until I finished college.

After finishing college I tried sleeping with guys and oh my god my curiosity turned to fantasies and I at least came to terms with being Bi and being attracted to men

But now after so many straight relationships with women and one mini hex later I have been betrayed so many times by vanilla women that I seem to have lost all interest in women all together.

My question is am I gay or am I just putting up defences so strong that even I am unsure what my real feelings are?

Posted
Hi Hex. I'm afraid only you can work that 1 out. We all put walls up from time to time as well.
Posted
Aw so sorry to hear this Hex. Kind of agree that it’s something you’ll have to work on yourself unless you’re comfortable talking with a close friend who can be objective or seeing a therapist. Everyone has baggage but I’m sad to hear yours is filled with so much hurt. It’ll take a special lady to remind you we aren’t are vile, sneaky witches until then keep doing whatever is making you happy. Even if you don’t find a woman you hit it off with you’re a great person so some lucky guy will have you snatched up in no time 🙂
Posted

The thing is.. would you have been any happier within the relationships you had if your sexuality was different? Probably not, but maybe..its one of those questions than you can only speculate about, relationships fail, for all kinds of reasons..as far as I can tell, the only reason your sexuality would make the slightest difference to success or failure is if you deliberately went after women knowing you preferred guys because then something is always going to be missing and the other person will resent you whether they know that's why or not.

I think the question is what, or whom, do you want to be with now?..put your failures behind you and move forward..and whether that's as gay, straight or anything inbetween, just be you..and try, though I know how hard it is, not to judge any new partners by the behaviour of old ones, whatever gender..sounds like your still very hurt, nurture yourself a little, don't rush in to anything more serious until you feel like yourself again x

Nikki_Hexy
Posted

Thank you for all the advice I think MsJax is right that I need to nurture myself.

I am 100% sure that not all women are the same. It's just hard not to be deffencive around women after my experiances. I have noticed that in the world of BDSM and Fetish that because of the Comunication, Trust, Honesty and Respectfulness of everyone no matter what their kink, sexuality, gender identity is etc. It's becoming more and more easy to open up, here at least

thecandiiclub
Posted
On 6/8/2018 at 12:30 AM, HexThePup said:

I dont know how to start these kinda of things so I'm going to try and jump in at the start.

Throughout my ***age years I have always played the straight card, I was always curious but never acted on my curiosity. Until I finished college.

After finishing college I tried sleeping with guys and oh my god my curiosity turned to fantasies and I at least came to terms with being Bi and being attracted to men

But now after so many straight relationships with women and one mini hex later I have been betrayed so many times by vanilla women that I seem to have lost all interest in women all together.

My question is am I gay or am I just putting up defences so strong that even I am unsure what my real feelings are?

My personal answer is that your a Sexual... I have these labels I think that life is about experiencing everything that you "want" never, ever, settle, nor do something that you don't feel right about and my dear lady enjoy and have heaps of fun... and experience your title of being a Empowered Sexually... and that is my bit

thecandiiclub
Posted

My question is I am a Rebellious Submissive with a husband who is my Dom and we are thinking of having a 3rd Alpha be part of our journey

What is your thoughts on this?

  • 3 months later...
Posted
On 6/7/2018 at 5:30 PM, HexThePup said:

I dont know how to start these kinda of things so I'm going to try and jump in at the start.

Throughout my ***age years I have always played the straight card, I was always curious but never acted on my curiosity. Until I finished college.

After finishing college I tried sleeping with guys and oh my god my curiosity turned to fantasies and I at least came to terms with being Bi and being attracted to men

But now after so many straight relationships with women and one mini hex later I have been betrayed so many times by vanilla women that I seem to have lost all interest in women all together.

My question is am I gay or am I just putting up defences so strong that even I am unsure what my real feelings are?

Why worry about a label I’ve slept with both sexes but I identify as gay but just class as a sexual being 

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