paypig/findom

[ve****]

i want to start getting into the findom scene but i do not want to just jump right into it without any knowledge. do y’all have any tips/tricks/suggestions/advice? also how to train a paypig? anything regarding the findom/paypig scene i would love to know more. :))

[FETMOD-KF]

folks - this is an advice thread - so is neither the place for any form of 'findom hate' or any form of soliciting. 

[BlessingOfChaos]

I'm not in thay scene myself but do have friends that are.
First of all, it's about consent and finding someone who enjoys that kind of domination.
An easy question to think about for this would be "do you want to give me *** because you think that will grow favour with me and get me to care for you more or do you want to give out *** because the act of doing so makes you feel good?" if possible you want the second answer to be yes not the first.

Also, and kind of contrary to the above, seeing it as *** is hard. Most people don't want to loose ***. Instead it should be showing that they are doing things for you."hey look at these nails." (that they have paid for) "Hey I got a new bag today" "On my way to the spa!"

That makes people feel nice because it's not loosing ***, it's giving others pleasant experiences with *** instead.

I hope my info helps.

[ve****]

*this is regarding being on the receiving end*

[da****]

What is findom?

[ey****]

the kinda most simplistic thing to think about is "why you?"

of all of the people in the world that people could pay - why you?

This is a question so few ask themselves (or can only answer with stock answers) and so person after person declares themselves a Findom, or is selling pictures or whatever and ends up with small change at best.   There are also plenty of guys who are aware of this and so will often play new Findoms - using their own kinda hooks and scams (the simplest is anything that gets you to do something for free now, in hope they will send *** later.  They won't)

People who do well rarely start in Findom.  Most have done stuff like camming or subscription sites or other forms of Domination or other sex work and branched into Findom.    There is no easy *** or *** for nothing, anyone telling you otherwise either got extremely lucky, is lying, or is trying to get you to sign up to something on a referal code so they get kickbacks of whatever you make. 

[Sa****]

Interested, but Why should I choose you? ☺️

[Deleted Member]

  8 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the kinda most simplistic thing to think about is "why you?"

of all of the people in the world that people could pay - why you?

This is a question so few ask themselves (or can only answer with stock answers) and so person after person declares themselves a Findom, or is selling pictures or whatever and ends up with small change at best.   There are also plenty of guys who are aware of this and so will often play new Findoms - using their own kinda hooks and scams (the simplest is anything that gets you to do something for free now, in hope they will send *** later.  They won't)

People who do well rarely start in Findom.  Most have done stuff like camming or subscription sites or other forms of Domination or other sex work and branched into Findom.    There is no easy *** or *** for nothing, anyone telling you otherwise either got extremely lucky, is lying, or is trying to get you to sign up to something on a referal code so they get kickbacks of whatever you make. 

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Very good advise!

I just would like to add that dominance is also responsability.
Some guys will go into huge debts and may ruin their finances if you let them, so take good care of your toys and you will always have it.

[ra****]

I think for me as a person who's been someone's paypig before, I enjoy the *** of it alot and I think it's crucial to set limits. So with my partner ill tell them I can max do 100 maybe, and 125 is a hard limit, and then afterwards it's just fun.

Sometimes it's blackmail, ill post "this video" of you or you'll have this food delivered to me within this amount of time, sometimes it's outright just "buy me this right now idiot" and sometimes they give me a wishlist of things like outfits, shoes, sex toys and expect me to buy them most of it, and talk down to me when they find out I still haven't yet.

The thing with the limits is that they know how much I'm comfortable with, so we can stay within the bounds of them being demanding and still avoiding unfulfillment which would be disappointing and a turn off. And the upper hard limit is a fun goal, they know I would still be ok spending that but I would like to avoid it, and it's fun just going through the motions of getting up to the upper limit, really sets the pace and the mood. I feel very properly drained when im up to that upper limit

[ra****]

As a previous paypig, and you wanna do it with a partner the most important thing is spending limits. Otherwise you can drain a random slave dry online. We would set up like a limit of say 100, and then an upper limit of 125 and throughout the while the *** would get drained out of me in different direct and indirect ways.
_____
Some of the direct ways are more like blackmail, -have this food delivered to me right now before this hour or I'll post (this video) of you - or berate me, any short or extended variation of "buy me this now idiot"
_____
Some of the indirect ways are more like they'll send me a wishlist of shoes, lingerie, sex toys etc, and just reprimand me every while when I haven't bought everything on it. Stuff that I'd like to get them as gifts already or stuff we'd both be using.
___
The upper limit is something I could afford but would really prefer not to and I love the idea. It really creates a lot of tension about how they can get it out of me and throughout the while leading up to making me pay it up it really makes me feel weak and drained tf out, it just hits different and makes it really intense

[ey****]

  56 minutes ago, ViniSP said:

I just would like to add that dominance is also responsability.
Some guys will go into huge debts and may ruin their finances if you let them, so take good care of your toys and you will always have it.

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I think

like a lot of play there is responsibility on both sides.   While there is responsibility of the Dominant; there is also a responsibility of the submissive - and that responsibility includes being clear on limits, using safewords, being risk aware.

If someone got themselves into debt booking holidays they couldn't afford, or eating/partying out too often or buying too many computer games - we would say the buyer is being irresponsible.   

Like - if a Dominant goes "cover my lunch" and the sub cannot afford to do this - then it's their responsibility to communicate they're reaching their limit : if from there the Dominant gets annoyed or angry - then they were the wrong Dominant for the sub anyway.

--

There was a good blog that I sadly can't link to which does have another bit of advice applicable to both subs and Doms and not just in financial circles.

A lot of Findoms seek 'white whales' but these are rare - a white whale being someone who spends an awful lot of *** for very little interaction or effort.

On the other side of this you've got the timewasters (intentional or otherwise) who require a lot of time or effort for little/no returns - these are a lot more common and worth sacking off.

But the best subs are usually somewhere in the middle that give a fair and consistent amount over prolonged time and in line with the time and effort spent on them.    This is something also for subs to learn that they don't need to compete with the marquee subs and slaves - that they can stand out being consistent and good. 

[Deleted Member]

Good luck with that. Many dont consider that real bdsm

[ey****]

I mean, to be fair - there's more to kink/fetish than BDSM - and - BDSM as we kinda know it has circa 30 years history so is still in it's infancy...

But also...

I mean - having your finances controlled is certainly Domination and submission.   There can certainly also be a sadistic streak in having someone to send, send, send or not allow someone to do something without also a send.

"I'll do anything" - "Ok, buy me a gift" - "No"

"I want to give up control" - "OK, pass me your bank cards" - "no"

"I want to be a slave" - "Well a slave has no use for possessions" - "No"

 

[Deleted Member]

I disagree sorry bdsm is an intimate relationship between a Domme or Dom and their slave or slaves in real time. If one cant meet the other or see the other then whats the point? I can get anyone off the street to verbally *** someone. This is my opinion and from my experience fidom to me offers nothing. If i want to give away my *** to a stranger ill never meet then ill donate it to UNICEF

[ey****]

But the kinda point here - with a lot of stuff.  If you don't want to do something - then don't do it... if you neither understand nor want to understand it - don't derail threads about it?  

[MommyDomme84]

  11 hours ago, beta22 said:

I disagree sorry bdsm is an intimate relationship between a Domme or Dom and their slave or slaves in real time. If one cant meet the other or see the other then whats the point? 

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I completely disagree with this. My Daddy lives in a whole other country and we will likely never meet, but I feel closer and more intimate with him than most of my relationships. 

[Deleted Member]

Nobody is derailing anything its an open topic so i put my 2 cents in as my opinion. Not a question of understanding. Ive been in the bdsm scene over 29 years… I understand and she should understand being a findomme isnt easy and many wont see her as a real domme.

[ey****]

  2 hours ago, beta22 said:

Nobody is derailing anything its an open topic so i put my 2 cents in as my opinion. Not a question of understanding. Ive been in the bdsm scene over 29 years… I understand and she should understand being a findomme isnt easy and many wont see her as a real domme.

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I'm going to apologise cos I'd misread something you'd said.

But, yeah - findomme (and anything else kink related) isn't easy absolutely - people will see on TV shows or newspaper articles about someone who made a lot of *** "doing little" and it's not always fully true.  In some cases it omits other revenue streams, in some cases it omits that these are people working 14 hour day, and it omits that some just got lucky.

Of course as well, some people won't see her as a real domme, but, meh - that's on them : some people don't see women as Dominant at all - and... whatever any of us do, someone will say we're not 'real' or 'true' - so it's always a case of, well, screw them - focus on the people who DO like what we do.

[whenwetalklikethis]

The whole concept of findom is deeply compromised and worrying. It is just too close to financial *** and the motivation of the Dom/Domme is suspect from the outset. Criminality and cruelty will look just the same so how are you to be trusted by any part of this community. We have a duty of care

[ey****]

  3 hours ago, whenwetalklikethis said:

The whole concept of findom is deeply compromised and worrying. It is just too close to financial *** and the motivation of the Dom/Domme is suspect from the outset. Criminality and cruelty will look just the same so how are you to be trusted by any part of this community. We have a duty of care

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to be fair...

If I made some subtle changes to what you said...

"The whole concept of BDSM is deeply compromised and worrying. It is just too close to *** and the motivation of the Dom/Domme is suspect from the outset. Criminality and cruelty will look just the same so how are you to be trusted by any part of this community. We have a duty of care"

And then when you read back and think "well yes, but..." all the arguments about Findom are the same that people who are anti-kink use against kink.  

[Qu****]

It’s all about consent. As a Findomme I have learned not all ladies are as nice and as up front as some. As for me I usually try to have some type of connection. Where some just see you as a wallet and doesn’t care. Reddit and twitter are really well for those. Make sure to do your research of what you want and who your tryin to work with to make sure your a good fit. We are not all the same

[sv****]

I've recently seen the term ethical finding. That's a kind of findom I can understand. The draining until they have racked up debt or don't have enough for expenses, I can't.

[ey****]

  2 hours ago, someliro said:

I've recently seen the term ethical finding. That's a kind of findom I can understand. The draining until they have racked up debt or don't have enough for expenses, I can't.

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I think 'ethical' becomes a misused word very quickly - in one hand it can then imply other forms of consensual play are 'unethical' which is often not the case.    The other is I've seen people use 'ethical' to describe what they do (or try to do) who will then do things which really falls out of that framework - to one degree it then becomes not letting 'good' become the enemy of 'perfect' but on another hand it is not assuming something is right, fair, etc. just because someone prefixes with the word 'ethical' or assuming other forms of consensual play are 'unethical' or wrong, unfair, etc.

No one should spend more than they can afford in Findom play (just as no one should continue in impact, or any other, play once they've hit or are approaching their limits) and some of the people who do leave themselves short have done this as choice - and it's obviously s**t especially if it was a heat of the moment decision but then the thing is to learn and not do it again.

This said - I have seen stuff which makes my eyebrows raise ("this sub took out a loan and gave it all to me!" - although this lacks context if there was some agreement involved) but then the same is true for any form of other kink - say - someone showing off impact marks which demonstrated dangerous play

[Deleted Member]

  On 3/3/2022 at 7:01 AM, vex23 said:

i want to start getting into the findom scene but i do not want to just jump right into it without any knowledge. do y’all have any tips/tricks/suggestions/advice? also how to train a paypig? anything regarding the findom/paypig scene i would love to know more. :))

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So, findom; You're just basically a prostitute aren't you.

[Deleted Member]

  March 3, Deleted profile said:

Very good advise!

I just would like to add that dominance is also responsability.
Some guys will go into huge debts and may ruin their finances if you let them, so take good care of your toys and you will always have it.

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Totally. Dominance comes with responsibility, care and the judgement to know when to stop. If respect and acceptance are at the core of your actions, then the rest is just the negotiation and limits discussed between you and your playmates. Then the game develops between you and its all good.