Introducing Bdsm into a relationship

March 3, 2022

I am a female with a male partner and we have been together for about six months now. I want to introduce bdsm into our relationship with me in the dominant role.

I am afraid of how my patner will react for he has never really shown much inclination towards playing a submissive role. Can anyone provide me with any advice on how to broach this topic with him.

March 3, 2022

Talk, talk and more talk. Is the basic answer.

Have either of you ever discussed this?

Have you any indication that something simple like tie and tease is something your partner might enjoy.?

In your relationship who takes the lead in intimate situations?

March 3, 2022

As oldfellow says - the first step is communication, whilst I understand it might be scary the only way you will *know* if this is something that interests him is by talking to him about it.
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It doesn't have to be full on whips and chains either, you could start by asking him if he's got any fantasies or kinks he'd like to try and open the conversation up that way, introducing your own thoughts and desires along the way.
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You need to be clear with him though about where your own mind lies with this, what it is about BDSM that interests you, and why you think you would be dominant, and just as importantly how and when - is it something to be reserved for the bedroom, or a more 24/7 thing? Would you expect him to act in a certain way? What kind of a dominant do you think you would be? All these and much more you should be prepared and able to explain to him.
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Ultimately though you also have to be prepared for the fact it may not be for him, and if so you have the choice to either accept that or realise that BDSM is more important than your relationship.

March 3, 2022

It would probably be best to just sit him down. Tell me that you are interested and this want to explore it. Nothing will happen if you don't talk about it and it would be best just to approach the topic head on and talk it out like adults. I can understand that you are worried that he might react to it but if you say bring it up as a joke they might just laugh it off and never really consider it. The corner stone of BDSM is communication.

March 3, 2022

I did the same but roles reversed… I am submissive and we had already been married for like 10 yrs when I brought it up now we are 24/7 D/s and couldn’t be happier for doing so. Honestly the only thing that has helped and continues to is talking! I struggled at first so we used a text app that we used only for those types of conversations and fantasy talk it helped so much at least for me til it was second nature to talk face to face about it all

March 3, 2022

But a copy of 'Uniquely Rika' to help in Your understanding of the whole D/s dynamic...

March 4, 2022

My advice is. Just be straight forward. He's either going to go along with it. Or he isn't.
I don't feel the need to beg someone if they aren't into it.
But you've got to try

March 5, 2022

Thank you everyone for your inputs I will make sure to keep them in mind while I try discussing this with my partner.

March 27, 2022

March 5, Venella180 said:

Thank you everyone for your inputs I will make sure to keep them in mind while I try discussing this with my partner.

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Communication is the best me and my husband of 11 yrs have just now entered into a d/s relationship with each other.. after many years and 3 kids I have finally opened myself up to him. I know I done this backwards. I should have been completely open and trusting him before we was married. But emotional trauma from my past and major trust issues and some mental illness kept my defense up and at the forefront and honestly we haven't actually been more connected than we are now. I can confide in him my thoughts my fantasies and my wants without hesitation and even thou its taken forever I have never been so comfortable with another human in my life... I loved him before we was married and I did trust him before we were married but just not 100%, my trust has been taken advantage of over and over again (not by him) and he has not once in the years we have been married has he ever broken or gave me a reason to not fully trust him... basically talk talk talk hear him out and let him hear you talk about everything and trust and openess is the 1st and most important aspect of this type of relationship, he holds your body and soul in the palm of his hands and can make you or break you ...this is not something either of you can enter with out complete and total trust in each other. Your trust that he will not overstep your boundaries and his trust that you will not overstep his boundaries.. good luck and from someone who finally has discovered her true self it's alot of weight off your shoulders...