Confronted by myself.

[Deleted Member]

I am a fresh newbie to this site but not so new to kink/BDSM. I have dabbled over many years. I actually thought it was just some sort of phase I was going through however I can no longer deny that supposed phase isn't going away and even if I just let it go I find myself being drawn back to it. 

My issue is the struggles I have had to deal with along the way and still do. I felt it was so disrespectful to treat a woman the way I thought about in my mind. I had so much shame around it. I felt like a despicable person. 

Over the years of reading, speaking to people and learning about the lifestyle some if the Shane dissipated and how I found myself despicable started to wane. 

I have mostly dabbled in soft link, however I find my needs have changed as I've grown sexually and within myself. 

I've reached a place where I'm discovering more of what I like, what I need and want. 

So far I'm leaning very strongly to being a Dom/dominant. I love submissives. However, after thinking about it, I prefer to not have occasional meetings with a sub. I'm really not very good at keeping myself from getting attached to a person. So, when I'm ready for a relationship, I feel only then will it be good for me.  

I may not be ready for a relationship for quite some time and I'm not really educated how things work with someone outside of a relationship setting. 

Im entering into territory that I know nothing of at this point. Most experiences I have had have been with exes so it was different. 

I'm not so sure what to do next bit I know that I'm keen to explore myself more and learn. 

Look forward to hearing people's thoughts. Cheers.