Not in BDSM

[nunudada]

Hi there, 

 

I am really huge fan of bdsm and really enjoy it. However my girlfriend told me she is not really into it, she is just doing it for me and to pleasure me. She said she doesn't enjoy punishments at all and doesn't find them engaging, but she like to be rewarded and cared for. She is more into a romantic style. What should I do? How should I adapt to her and how? Should we just keep the rewarding part and discard the harsh part of bdsm?

Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks for your time.

[ey****]

the great thing about BDSM is there's so many facets to it.  The frustrating part of it of course is finding people who enjoy the same facets.

I was in a hotel room the other week with a friend, engaging in what could be deemed to be BDSM play 

And we'd been talking - without being specifici - about other people we knew and that we had in our mind ideas what we'd like to do with them - and that, in a conversation, there might be some overlap on what they'd like to do with us -  but there's some people she was saying she found to be waay off.  

Anyway, my point is - to focus on the overlap of interests that work - rather than being too concerned about what doesn't.   If this leaves areas of you which are unfulfilled then having a stronger relationship with your partner may open her desires, or, a little but more likely, may allow you to practice some activities with people outside of your relationship 

[Littlebear1999]

Do you like the idea of DD/LG? Maybe that’s a good thing to try. It’s a more caring and affectionate subset of BDSM that involves being a caregiver to the submissive, and possibly punishments if the submissive misbehaves. She might like that.

[Lombardo43]

Your partner has every right to feel she wants a more romantic approach to bdsm,this is how she feels who she is. Romance and bdsm can combine so well in my book. Do you have such a different approach that you are unable to compromise your beliefs as to what bdsm is that you can't give your partner the romance that she craves. Romance is a way of showing love which is something she obviously needs.Maybe you both have to compromise but I think definitely you.