Sub x switch, rather new at the scene, what do--?

[AnonymousApple]

So, I'm sub, and I've got a good amount of experience, however it's been quite a while.

He's switch, but he has very little experience.

We'd like to try out D/s, to see if he likes it.

But, how do we even begin?

On top of that, how could I, as a 100% sub, deal with his subby side? He really likes pet play, and I've tried, but I've just not got it in me. I've tried being a bit dominant, but the best I can manage is get a bit saddistic. He "powersubbed" me once, which was kinda okay I suppose?

I like heavy D/s, s/m, ropes, the whole shabang really! But I don't want to overwhelm him, and-- Despite having experience as a sub, I haven't a clue on how a Dom should do the things. ^^;

Any tips would be appreciated to help us get going! ^^

[ey****]

I feel some of this is a bit done to death, but

Firstly - if there are areas that are definitely out; warn him these will *never* happen
 

If there's areas you want to explore together, work on a list of what works for you *both*

[Matttster]

Communication is key. It sounds like perhaps you are not very complimentary in kink. But you never know until you know; every relationship has some compromises.

Discuss what you like and what he likes. The most important thing is to determine what you each are seeking, then discuss how you each may fulfill each other’s desires.

Once you determine if you are kink compatible, the you can each research. For example, if you like rope play, and he is game for tying, research rope play. If he is into pet play and you are game to play, research and try. All of us learn at some point. Even people that are into the scene have to learn about a partners kinks. Every one is different, not every rope bunny likes the same type of ties, or to be tied as snuggly. Some like impact play, but not too aggressive, to some impact play does not count if there are not welts.

So experiment and communicate. After a session, often times after aftercare, discuss the session and what each of you liked and did not like.

[Matttster]

Communication is key. It sounds like perhaps you are not very complimentary in kink. But you never know until you know; every relationship has some compromises.

Discuss what you like and what he likes. The most important thing is to determine what you each are seeking, then discuss how you each may fulfill each other’s desires.

Once you determine if you are kink compatible, the you can each research. For example, if you like rope play, and he is game for tying, research rope play. If he is into pet play and you are game to play, research and try. All of us learn at some point. Even people that are into the scene have to learn about a partners kinks. Every one is different, not every rope bunny likes the same type of ties, or to be tied as snuggly. Some like impact play, but not too aggressive, to some impact play does not count if there are not welts.

So experiment and communicate. After a session, often times after aftercare, discuss the session and what each of you liked and did not like.

[ge****]

Some good advice above - another thought being can you take the D/s element about it and just indulge in "kink play" on a level playing field without domination or submission being involved necessarily? Just find things you'd like to try and mutually enjoy them kind of thing?
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Or perhaps look for a third person, or even dominant couple that take control of you both?
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I'd also recommend both of you completing on-line BDSM questionnaires, the type that list all sorts of elements of BDSM and have you rate them in terms of interest - complete them independently of each other and then compare notes - it may give you some common ground to work from and find out more about.
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Totally get the not being able to be dominant as a natural submissive thing though, have tried it in the past and it just didn't work for me - though curiously I am able to "do" activities normally associated with a dominant in a level playing field "kink play" type scenario (e.g. giving a spanking) - hence my initial suggestion.