Messages on socials.

[yo****]

Hey, how are you?

I'm just wondering how others feel about people finding their personal socials and messaging them. I for one, without my consent of giving them it find it kinda uncomfortable. How do you deal with this situation?

[Glasgowdom1991]

If someone can find my personal social media then they have engaged in stalker level behaviour and I would probly want to get someone involved

[Deleted Member]

Hey!

What? That’s insane and a huge invasion of privacy.

[Nu****]

Oh definitely not okay. People should respect your privacy. If you want someone to have them you can give them to that person. I haven't been on here for long and haven't dealt with that but I'd still find it off-putting.

[Deleted Member]

It doesn't bother me TOO much, as long as they're messenges, and not public posts...It's a bit awkward if uptight family members ran across something that isn't their business

[yo****]

Thank you. I just wanted others opinions really. It happens so often

[Deleted Member]

Do you use the same photo, username, etc. on your socials? That’s probably how they find you.

[Glasgowdom1991]

Also in your social media make sure your profile isnt search able from outside sources

[yo****]

I put everything on lockdown mode usually. No, it's just my Facebook people find with my IRL name. Im thinking i should maybe try and change something. My other socials are all different

[Deleted Member]

Yeah, definitely something in your profile needs to be removed/ changed

[ge****]

While I shouldn't *have* to and people *should* respect my privacy (and anyone else's for that matter) with the exception of my NSFW Twitter, I minimise the risk of being "found" on my FB, normal Twitter etc, by not giving out personal details on sites like this one unless I am 99% certain they won't be used to trace me, and that includes not posting/sending face pics here that I have also used on one of them - I also have those social media accounts locked down when it comes to things like my phone number etc.
.
It won't stop the most determined of course, but at least reduces the risk of someone stumbling across it.
.
There have been times I've stumbled across profiles of people on FB/Twitter that I know from sites like this and if I know them well enough I'll send them a private message on the site I know them from to warn them out of friendship they can be found - but beyond that I do nothing else, including looking at their social media profile.

[Je****]

If you give someone your number they can find links to the like of Facebook etc via personal info and cookies or whatever.
Everything is linked these days.
But it can be possible these sites give a "recommended as you might know " due to mutual friends etc.

There is also a function on here for your profile to remain hidden to the internet searches. So if you arent hidden people might be able to find you elsewhere easier. Worth checking profile settings

[ey****]

it's a bit creepy to track someone down on vanilla socials; regardless as of if you have left breadcrumb trails or not

[Sa****]

You shouldn’t have to change anything. People should know that’s inappropriate. Having said that, since it is a recurring problem and that’s the only control you have to change the situation, making a change is probably a good idea. I think I’d have to educate and block anyone I was talking with if they did that but I don’t have a stalker kink lol

[Je****]

4 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

it's a bit creepy to track someone down on vanilla socials; regardless as of if you have left breadcrumb trails or not

Tracking someone down is a whole diff ballgame lol

I get tons of people who show as suggested. But i dont interact with them here so i dont acknowledge them elsewhere. 

Everyone has a life and right to privacy off this site. Just odd if someone is intentionally ** seeking someone out.

[yo****]

This has happened a numerous numerous times. Thankfully most people who aren't connected to my mutual friends etc go into the "people you may know" folder. It's just so odd to me.

[Dr****]

I personally don’t really use non kink social. But for those that do and also use kink social media it’s always a good idea to do simple things like…

Private your vanilla social media and if not remove all identifying information from it related to work or family information.

One area of your social media accounts must not have your identifying in formation otherwise this is always going to be a issue in the internet age.

By doing those things at least the creeps will have limited information to go off of. They can’t effect your personal life as easily or your work life.

[Ga****]

I find it creepy and stalker ish. Its one thing to get someone's Ather social media accounts if it was given. Buy to look for it raises to many red flags. If you just stumble on one i still believe to just let it be . But that is just me

[Deleted Member]

Like others said, I would absolutely not feel ok with it. I mean, I’m very easy to giving out my number and Instagram, but if I didn’t then I definitely don’t expect someone to go and add or message me there.
It hasn’t happened to me (yet) but I think I would block that person. It clearly shows they don’t know boundaries, it’s a rather sneaky attitude. Why not just ask for it and ask ignite ok to message there in the first place, if they prefer to do so?

[CopperKnob]

3 hours ago, youngfundomme said:

This has happened a numerous numerous times. Thankfully most people who aren't connected to my mutual friends etc go into the "people you may know" folder. It's just so odd to me.

I have a public facing job so all my socials are heavily locked down. Itlf its happened so often, do you have any idea how it's happening?
I saw a post elsewhere about unintentionally outting yourself via social media etc I'll try to track it down

[Ki****]

its creepy af and ive had so many off this do it to me

[DarkArts1066]

So.
I have worked in a specialist security field, IRL for the past 26 years.

I have a friend who works in my industry, who claims to be able to find an individual from just two pieces of personal information in less than fif*** minutes - which is a scary thing….. and I believe he actually could.

Stalking is a criminal offence, and the behaviours you have described are, without doubt covered by those laws.
Whilst the perpetrator ‘may’ not have broken any law yet, I would be concerned that they might have an ulterior motive for contacting you through your socials.
I am NOT trying to scaremonger … we spend a lot of our working days maintaining the reputations of our Principals.. and so I see this approach on occasion -with Celebs, and occasionally UHNWI’s.

Keep records of these intrusions, screenshot where possible, and try to resist the urge to block.
If you do they may set up additional accounts to contact you. That, frankly is a *** in the arse to deal with, and is the same for law en***ment agencies.

If this is genuine and serious, that information which you gather now could be used to prosecute if required - in order to obtain an injunction to prevent them from ever contacting you again, upon threat of a custodial sentence.

[Deleted Member]

If all your profile names are the same or they can Google search your pictures then it's not too hard to find someone on other sites. Maybe make sure it's different enough.

[Ny****]

I've noticed that if I'm private messaging somebody on this app, my phone automatically finds the other person's Snapchat and auto nudges me to add them. Regardless of whether they choose to share that info with me or not. It's a bit weird and creepy in an algorithmic sort of way. I always just ignore it.

[1G****]

I'm a freelance OSINT investigator, if you don't want to be found don't show your face and never use your personal/professional email on sites you wouldn't want people to know you are on....personally I could care less, my business is my business.