Advice

[Deleted Member]

Hey everyone, anyone give me any tips on matching with people and getting chatting more . I'm new here and haven't managed to get the hang of this yet 😁

[Deleted Member]

You turn around and see a red faced man with his head stuck in the nearest banister. He shouts at you: "just be yourself!" And continues straining to free his self loudly... In all seriousness, I don't know, wish I did.

[Deleted Member]

You have no About Me description. That is where you can show a little of your personality and let people know a bit about you and what kind of person you are.

I wouldn't reply to anyone who hadn't filled that in.

Also... How are you starting your messages? Try to avoid just saying Hi/ HRU/ the ice breakers. Say something about why you picked to message *this* person. Also ... Be choosy in who you message. We can tell when you're firing it out to everyone and their granny 😉

[DeviantInside]

18 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

You have no About Me description. That is where you can show a little of your personality and let people know a bit about you and what kind of person you are.

I wouldn't reply to anyone who hadn't filled that in.

Also... How are you starting your messages? Try to avoid just saying Hi/ HRU/ the ice breakers. Say something about why you picked to message *this* person. Also ... Be choosy in who you message. We can tell when you're firing it out to everyone and their granny 😉

Completely agree with this. Your profile is your chance to show who you are (mine for example shows I’m a pretentious wannabe writer). It’s an opportunity to tell people what you’re into, what you’re bringing to the table and also what you are looking for. Be honest about things. If you’re not experienced people will respect the honesty more than trying to fake it… and it all comes out eventually anyway.

Also as stated think about who you’re contacting and why. Write specifically to that person. They will want to know that you read their profile and why you’re interested and think you might match.

Lastly what are your expectations? There are a lot of men on the site. If you’re thinking that the kink world is good for a quick fuck then the vast majority of the time you’ll be disappointed, and those women that are just after a quick session often have more than a few options for that so you’d really have to stick out. Most people want to know you’re safe and at least know the basics of what you’re doing, or are actively willing to learn. If you want to develop something more then start out by getting to know people, and letting them get to know you. Don’t even start out with kink necessarily that can come afterwards if the connection is right. Get involved in the forums so people can see how you respond and think.

[DeviantInside]

20 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

You have no About Me description. That is where you can show a little of your personality and let people know a bit about you and what kind of person you are.

I wouldn't reply to anyone who hadn't filled that in.

Also... How are you starting your messages? Try to avoid just saying Hi/ HRU/ the ice breakers. Say something about why you picked to message *this* person. Also ... Be choosy in who you message. We can tell when you're firing it out to everyone and their granny 😉

Completely agree with this. Your profile is your chance to show who you are (mine for example shows I’m a pretentious wannabe writer). It’s an opportunity to tell people what you’re into, what you’re bringing to the table and also what you are looking for. Be honest about things. If you’re not experienced people will respect the honesty more than trying to fake it… and it all comes out eventually anyway.

Also as stated think about who you’re contacting and why. Write specifically to that person. They will want to know that you read their profile and why you’re interested and think you might match.

Lastly what are your expectations? There are a lot of men on the site. If you’re thinking that the kink world is good for a quick fuck then the vast majority of the time you’ll be disappointed, and those women that are just after a quick session often have more than a few options for that so you’d really have to stick out. Most people want to know you’re safe and at least know the basics of what you’re doing, or are actively willing to learn. If you want to develop something more then start out by getting to know people, and letting them get to know you. Don’t even start out with kink necessarily that can come afterwards if the connection is right. Get involved in the forums so people can see how you respond and think.

And regardless it might take a while. Hell it may be that the person you beats match with isn’t even on this site… in which case it can be a great place to learn, discuss all sorts of things and chat to people without any ulterior motives.

[ge****]

A lot of very good advice already given - you've been here 9 days which is absolutely no time at all in this world - it takes time and patience to establish connections.
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Your profile is indeed key, you need to make it interesting and informative enough to pique people's interest enough to know more - having looked at yours and being brutally honest it's both bland and quite crude and doesn't even qualify as "basic".
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Put yourself in the shoes of the people you hope to attract and ask yourself if you'd meet you based on your profile text and pics.
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Also remember there are many ways to approach the site, not just sending blind messages to random accounts - in over six years of using sites like this I've sent less than ten messages of that kind, but have met numerous people both socially and for more - basically because I worked out early on sending cold messages was not for me and that using the forums was a far better way to get to know people and them me.
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Keep an eye out for local munches (social gatherings for kinksters) and events and make an effort to get along with them, not with a view to anything "happening" but to get to know others and build your kink circle of friends.
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There are also the chat rooms here that again can be a good way to get to know people.
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Take heed of all of that and other posts on this thread and it won't guarantee a thing but it will improve your experience and perception of the site and sites like it.

[ey****]

sometimes the best way to get a conversation going is to ask a question which is conversational. 

[gr****]

Yeah I think there are a lot more inactive and bot accounts than you may think here.