Looking at profile....No message

[Deleted Member]

In six months I have tried a number of profiles. The chopping and changing of profiles and things like that is quite a common thing; for people who suffer things like; depression, anxiety, ADHD and other conditions. I always use the same pictures on my profiles and pretty much all the other information is the same. 

Now, most of the time, a lot of the same women visit my profile. They don't leave a message or anything. I am wondering are just checking me out, hoping I will message them(that is what I am hoping anyway LOL)? When I do go to their profile, I will try to message. Quite often, their message filter won't let me. The ones I do get to message, do not reply. Bearing in mind it is the same women, every profile with same pictures.

So, my question is; What the......? Is this common? 

[Co****]

It is, sadly

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, CookieMonsterPT said:

It is, sadly

It really sucks doesn't it. This site is pure frustration lol

[gr****]

Well maybe reach out to a few. However I will say this. I think this site has fewer real engaged users than they are trying to portray. Which is not a shock with may of the restrictions they put on accounts.

[Deleted Member]

Agree with CookieMonster - it is usual. But then I’m curious about some ladies and check their profiles out too (which I don’t always follow up on, mainly due to distance, age differences, interests and criteria not compatible etc). I do read profiles and always respect what stated. Also bear in mind there are generally more men that ladies on most sites. Hope that helps .

[ey****]

I have an awful lot of people who have visited my profile and not messaged and I tend to assume the following

- they were interested in finding out more about me from my profile and didn't really want or need to message to do this

- they were checking me out and read my profile and simply were not interested

Just scrolled through and found someone local who had checked me out and I just clicked her profile and on it it says "I am not interested in switch men" so presumably she read, found out I was a switch and then had no reason to message. 

 

[DeviantInside]

Who knows why. It’s impossible to say as we can never know what other people are thinking. It could be idle perusal of profiles, it could be just seeing who is local, it could be seeing who the person is behind a forum post, it could be to look at what pictures you have, it could be accidental opening of your profile, repeat viewings could be because they forgot they looked before as there are always a lot of men on these sites.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter. They decided not to message, again that could be for any number of reasons, and that’s entirely their prerogative. I tend to ignore both views and spanks/likes, I may idly see who gave them but seldom more than that. I also seldom message people. But if I do I never work on the assumption that they are under any obligation to respond. There could be any number of reasons they don’t feel it… and my friends would probably agree they’re wise not to, but that’s a different matter.

But the point is no one here owes me anything. If people aren’t engaging with me then it’s down to me, either not showing myself well enough or me not being of interest. And that’s totally fine.

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, DeviantInside said:

Who knows why. It’s impossible to say as we can never know what other people are thinking. It could be idle perusal of profiles, it could be just seeing who is local, it could be seeing who the person is behind a forum post, it could be to look at what pictures you have, it could be accidental opening of your profile, repeat viewings could be because they forgot they looked before as there are always a lot of men on these sites.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter. They decided not to message, again that could be for any number of reasons, and that’s entirely their prerogative. I tend to ignore both views and spanks/likes, I may idly see who gave them but seldom more than that. I also seldom message people. But if I do I never work on the assumption that they are under any obligation to respond. There could be any number of reasons they don’t feel it… and my friends would probably agree they’re wise not to, but that’s a different matter.

But the point is no one here owes me anything. If people aren’t engaging with me then it’s down to me, either not showing myself well enough or me not being of interest. And that’s totally fine.

I always do that. The forgetting that I've checked the profile out, people must think I'm such a creep. Nope just a shit memory and viewing when my eyes are tired or glasses less.😂x

[Deleted Member]

I personally find it helps to be really clear about who you are and what you want.
Tbh, I have found this a very engaging site and take eyeamblacksheeps view. I do the same to women too. I am curious and then find they don't really match my needs.
One specific comment I hope you don't mind me making.... I would argue it's a massive red flag for a sub if someone specifically states they want to take someone "way past their limits and beyond".
Our role as dominants is to respect boundaries and play within and upto them. At the start of a scenario, following the last, a new might be set, but it still is the agreed boundary. It's hugely dangerous to push someone if they are in deep subspace as they often cannot articulate or communicate beyond gutteral noises or in an ***sitic manner, rendering safewords moot.
🤷🏽‍♂️ Just a thought.

[Mz****]

You should also consider that a lot of the views you get aren't actually views, it's people passing through the quick kink feature, the system shows they've been to your profile when actually they haven't, unless they saw enough there to pique their interest and ventured to your full profile of course..this can help explain when it's the same person repeatedly, because you're in a sort of loop on quick kink. It's a feature I don't personally use anymore because of that very reason..guys were getting upset/annoyed/frustrated that they thought I'd been to their profile more than once and not messaged 🤷‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, MzJax said:

You should also consider that a lot of the views you get aren't actually views, it's people passing through the quick kink feature, the system shows they've been to your profile when actually they haven't, unless they saw enough there to pique their interest and ventured to your full profile of course..this can help explain when it's the same person repeatedly, because you're in a sort of loop on quick kink. It's a feature I don't personally use anymore because of that very reason..guys were getting upset/annoyed/frustrated that they thought I'd been to their profile more than once and not messaged 🤷‍♀️

Thank you, that explains a lot. The spank feature is redundant and totally worthless. From what you say, it seems to be used as a way of getting to visit profiles. Which has a very negative effect. 

[Cheekysub247]

Im guilty of sometimes double looking (sometimes 3/4 🙈) because i have a terrible memory. I dont message because its normally im not what they are looking for or vice versa, i end up double looking ect again because sometimes i forget why i didnt message, then read the profile again and think "oh yer thats why" 😂

[ey****]

I do often look at people and think "they're cool - what are they about?" and just a rough idea.    

There have been people over the time who I've thought about messaging but then I'll see something in their profile which suggests I'm not what they're looking for (or, that, after all,  they wouldn't be what I am looking for) 

[ey****]

though - and then sometimes I'm just a bit.... I dunno.  Like, maybe I'll give it time and message them one day. 

[Mz****]

1 hour ago, meatybeatybouncy said:

Thank you, that explains a lot. The spank feature is redundant and totally worthless. From what you say, it seems to be used as a way of getting to visit profiles. Which has a very negative effect. 

You're welcome, it took awhile before I found out myself, I actually blocked people I thought were lurking on my profile and of course later found out they weren't it was quick kink..but it made me feel creeped out and uncomfortable, so I agree, for the users of the site it can have a negative effect, but as a business, getting people to pay membership to see who's spanked, liked, etc..it makes perfect sense.

(btw, I hate the spanks..not so much what they're meant to indicate,  but as a Domme it feels inappropriate to me that I get spanked and I just ignore them).

[Bathblonde]

9 minutes ago, MzJax said:

You're welcome, it took awhile before I found out myself, I actually blocked people I thought were lurking on my profile and of course later found out they weren't it was quick kink..but it made me feel creeped out and uncomfortable, so I agree, for the users of the site it can have a negative effect, but as a business, getting people to pay membership to see who's spanked, liked, etc..it makes perfect sense.

(btw, I hate the spanks..not so much what they're meant to indicate,  but as a Domme it feels inappropriate to me that I get spanked and I just ignore them).

I believe you can disable the spank feature. It was mentioned in a lobby a little while ago. 

Edited June 1, 2022 by Bathblonde
Typo standard for me lol

[Deleted Member]

I peruse profiles a lot, because you have an interesting picture or because you said something interesting in a forum and I want to know more about you. I'll also have a look at most local Doms to read their profile and see if they're of any interest. But I also make heavy use of the hide my tracks feature because if I didn't message or make myself known in some way, I really don't want to communicate and it's been my experience that a lot of men (perhaps women too, I visit their profiles less frequently but I haven't noticed this) take a visit as "she must want a message!" ...and then I have the awkwardness of trying to back out of a conversation I didn't want in the first place 🤣

[Mz****]

1 hour ago, Bathblonde said:

I believe you can disable the spank feature. It was mentioned in a lobby a little while ago. 

I shall go to my settings and have a look see...thank you 😊

*edited to add

I can't find that setting, I use the mobile site not the app though sometimes that makes a difference..thanks anyway.

Edited June 1, 2022 by MzJax
Extra paragraph

[nu****]

I would like to comment on the fact that their message filter won’t let anyone to message:
The primary reason for that is DICK PIX / DOM-WANNABES / SCAMMERS.

That’s the only way how to prevent that. And at that point, your options are to like their pictures or sending a gift.
That’s how you can show a genuine interest. It’s up to the lady, whether she decides to respond or not.

I personally do use a filter too, but I have it set to allow the message through after the person types about 15 characters, so that I will get a message that doesn’t resort to “Hi” or “How you doing hon”.

[Phoenyx]

I too, have occasionally glanced at profiles, just to see what someone is about.  They may have stated something interesting in a discussion, and I checked their profile, to get a better idea of their perspective.  Any interesting fetish-wear in a profile pic, will also pique my curiosity.

Still, I use profile checks quite sparingly.  As others have mentioned, there is the *** of "giving the wrong idea."  Just because someone glances at a profile, it doesn't mean that they are interested, or that they are "perving".  I used to wonder about the folks who came to my profile (I still get one or two looks every day).  However, I soon realized that most were likely, just glancing to see what I was about.  Many were the same folks who had commented to one of my thread posts.

Still, I didn't know that the "Quick Kink" feature would count browsing as a "visit".  This would explain a lot.  From time to time, the site algorithm will cause the site to load directly to the Quick Kink page.  I assume that this is done to promote the feature.  However, if the same person is always at the top of the quick-kink ranking, they may get constant reports of visits by me, when I never went to their page.  If so, the designers of this site need to fix that feature.  How many folks have been blocked, for something that they never did?

Personally, I have never used the Quick Kink feature.  The search criteria are way too broad (pun not intended).  On most profiles, folks have selected categories of "Kinks & Fetishes".  Perhaps, a similar selection of categories could be added to the "filter" criteria.

[Lo****]

4 hours ago, Lady_Char said:

I peruse profiles a lot, because you have an interesting picture or because you said something interesting in a forum and I want to know more about you. I'll also have a look at most local Doms to read their profile and see if they're of any interest. But I also make heavy use of the hide my tracks feature because if I didn't message or make myself known in some way, I really don't want to communicate and it's been my experience that a lot of men (perhaps women too, I visit their profiles less frequently but I haven't noticed this) take a visit as "she must want a message!" ...and then I have the awkwardness of trying to back out of a conversation I didn't want in the first place 🤣

I tend not to visit profiles unless I am upgraded for that reason. I’d rather use the hide my tracks feature than give someone the false impression I was interested in them messaging me. If I find them interesting, I’ll message them.