How to be a good dom in a bdsm ldr?

[mastnic]

I met this girl online, we have been talking quite a lot recently mainly just about normal things but word got out that we are both into bdsm - so yesterday we then started talking about it a bit, got into, were sexting and made each other get off even sending voice messages and pics and it felt fucking good. Even more so because I was able to show my dominance and she was great at misbehaving but then also being obedient. That was just a great experience.

We have already spoken about what to call each other in terms of praising and also when it comes to sex.

I have not been doing this a lot in my life as my previous partners wasn’t into this stuff at all so for me it’s time to get used to the bdsm world. Do you guys have tips on how to be a good dom especially at the beginning and how to establish a good bdsm relationship with my brat?

As it’s quite new we only had bdsm during our sexting but how can I/we incorporate bdsm into every day life while being ldr?

One more thing, how can I do/offer good aftercare for my brat being ldr?

Lastly, we haven’t talked much more about it yet but should I ask her what things she is into and what not? And how serious we’d like this to be?

 

Thanks!

[ey****]

I think there's often challenges with LDR - but - simple things for every day life within LDR is with protocol - for example asking for a good morning and good night text. that she must begin or end any sentence with an agreed honorific.  and even though it's pretentious as fuck, Capital Protocol can be a way that means the dynamic is ever present.

 

Aftercare long distance can be difficult but a lot depends on the context of what sort of play you are doing as of what is needed.  At a minimum being clear and open with her about when you are available and that she can contact you is a boost.

And, yeahhhh.... I'd establish her likes and dislikes as a priority.

 

for how serious.  when the time is right, otherwise it's just usually fun to take things as they go. 

[cautiousswitch]

On 6/2/2022 at 1:31 PM, mastnic said:

Lastly, we haven’t talked much more about it yet but should I ask her what things she is into and what not? And how serious we’d like this to be?

 

This is where things should have started or where things should head to early on i the relationship.

Depending on interests, domming by instruction may  take place.  This means you both may want to look into some self-kink (self bondage, self punishment, etc) - her so that she can follow your instructions safely, you so that you can give safe instructions.  Realize that this is long distance so the other person isn't really there in an emergency, so if you go this route take it slow.  Or, just simulating the kink - instead of actually tying herself up she just wraps the rope around herself and acts as if it is tied until you tell her she is being untied.