Communication

[Deleted Member]

Communication. I myself have been active for over 30 years, and after my initiation I had a mentor for a long time. I am grateful to him, because I learned the tricks of the trade from him. One of the most important is communication. The art of communication is not speaking, but listening. Listening to what is being said, the way something is being said, and not forgetting the body language. The transfer of information is verbal and non-verbal. The way someone communicates says a lot about someone. Think of the vocabulary, and the way in which someone communicates. The "receiver" creates an image of the "sender" during communication. Without communication, society worldwide will collapse. Communication is the cement of our society, of relationships, and professional existence. Members recognize this on this app and point out the importance of good communication. More than in everyday life, communication is important in this community. This is because the bar of trust is higher than in everyday life. I wonder why good communication is recognized, but not practiced. During a date or a dinner with a friend / acquaintance you get a question about music or how the day was at work, then no one gets up and walks away. If communication is not your strongest point, and ghosting is the standard answer, then I think you have lost nothing in this community.

[ey****]

If someone asks online how someone's day went, or about music - and they do not reply...

this isn't ghosting

they just haven't replied, for whatever reason.

There is a lot in modern society which can bring barriers to communication.  Such as someone intending on replying later, meaning to respond and then find they didn't, being too busy.... so on... 

For someone to ghost you there has to be some form of dynamic or expectancy of one.   For example you have agreed to meet and then suddenly they go quiet.  They no show.  You actually do meet and then they suddenly stop replying your messages.

Someone you are talking to online, with no real structure of a dynamic, who stops responding is NOT ghosting.  They just stopped responding.

Even if they just are no longer interested in exchanging messages. It's not an airport, they don't have to announce a departure.

If a convo has died on it's arse that was going well and you think they should have replied but haven't, then drop in a little prompt

[Nylon-Nellie]

There is ghosting and there is ghosting. It is a steep learning curve for me, speaking to any potential Dom. More so, since he is busy with work, his personal life, etc. I for one have to take a step to the side and wait for his reply. Yes, people's personal lives do and will cross over into kink, it cannot be helped. Communication is key in any dynamic. Some people communicate well in person and others communicate well via words on a page.

[ge****]

Communication is of course key in *any* relationship, but the key word in that is not actually "communication" but "relationship" - there has to be one in the first place.
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Someone not responding to a random message sent on here doesn't have a "relationship" with the sender therefore "communication" with that sender is of little importance.
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The importance certainly goes up by levels as you start to converse, but even after a handful of messages it's still not totally key until there is a level of commitment between both people.
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Comparing non-replies to a dinner date with a friend/acquaintance is effectively comparing apples and oranges, they are two different things completely.
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People will go quiet or not reply on here for a variety of reasons, because they're busy, because they're not interested, or a multitude of other valid reasons - and until there truly is a relationship with some meaning in place that is not not practicing good communication.