Monsoon Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 Hey everybody but i have a question. Why is building a genuine connection hard, is it conversation, touch, passion. Something i try to envoke in my conversations with possible partners. But trying to talk and get to know some persons on the app. They say the want to build a connection, but why is it when small talk, and actually getting to know the person. They either become uninterested, stop engaging in conversation, and just leave you on read. What can we do as men or woman to keep those conversations engaging? Or at least not get left on read!
ey**** Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 there's no magic buzz of what people will find engaging people generally find small talk to be frustrating and off putting A lot of people also find a lot of conversations push work onto them so, for example "Hey!" "Hey..." "How are you?" "I'm OK. How are you?" "I'm good, how has your day been?" "Been ok" - and consider, of course this is pretty much the same as the last question and if this is a stranger they might not want to talk about work, family, etc. so it's a bit of a dead end. If you want to actually get to know someone; ask them questions about themselves. What do you want to know about them? What information can you volunteer about yourself which might interest them? Is there anything on their profile which might be a common interest ? What hooks can you offer? Without it descending into sexual or whatever. If they are finding your conversation uninteresting they probably don't feel there is a connection there to build
0L**** Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 I think people dont wanna build a genuine connection. In my case, 80% of men wanna easy fast food sex.
Deleted Member Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 24 minutes ago, 0LadyBlack said: I think people dont wanna build a genuine connection. In my case, 80% of men wanna easy fast food sex. But literally all that is on your profile is about sex?(that I see at least). If you want to talk about more than sex you need to actually provide more information about yourself. 99% of profiles I come across have maybe a single sentence or two, I literally have nothing to start conversations about with most women here because they provide NOTHING.
0L**** Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 (edited) I'm an exhibicionist. Not a sex machine. Im in this site for near 2 years and will be until December. I did all u can imagine to "connect" with people. Too much work and too much fakes. I gave up. Just here to pulbish my photos and musics. Edited July 17, 2022 by 0LadyBlack
Deleted Member Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 Just now, 0LadyBlack said: I'm an exhibicionist. Not a sex machine. I mean sex or related activities. You want to talk about movies? Plants? What's for dinner? What you want to be when you grow up?(lol). Fuck literally say anything about yourself besides sex/fetish (not just you but most of the people here). I'm expected to make an interesting conversation with a woman who herself is simply not interesting at all (or doesn't present herself as) 99% of the time.
7A**** Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 It's a good topic. I find myself having a hard time talking because I'm very"old school", where you at least have dinner before you masterbate together.. .lol Although I must admit, I'm growing quite fond of the new ways. Back to my point, I am looking for a female friend with benefits. Possibly more, if it goes there. I am not usually a shy person, but it is hard to talk to someone, in which you have no background.
Pl**** Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 I hate to be that guy, but this is one of the issues of trying to meet people online. It's been convincingly shown that the best way to meet/connect with people is by seeing them regularly in person. Trying to get that same connection with strangers on the internet is an uphill battle. It was easy when we were in school, because we had a bunch of people our age that we were ***d to be around a lot. Work is harder, because not everybody is the same age, and some advances are unwanted and it's not the best to shit where you eat, but people still do it. Church, clubs, volunteering, sports leagues, etc. are all places where people spend regular time with each other and have a better chance to develop a meaningful connections. But if you want tips to meet women people online as a guy, it's all about good pictures and a sense of humor. Your pictures should demonstrate that you: Are at least somewhat attractive (this is the one with the most wiggle room, but you should at least show a good smile with teeth) Have friends, at least some of whom are women (women intuitively understand that if other people think you're okay, you're probably at least not a huge threat) Go out and do interesting things (are not boring) Don't have a messy home or any other negative indicators. Your pictures project a certain lifestyle, and if women can't see themselves favorably in that lifestyle, their interest will be limited. As far as conversation, there are other things than humor, but for most women, your main goal should be to make them laugh. They will feel more comfortable and enjoy talking with you (assuming your jokes aren't too sexual or otherwise in poor taste). Obviously there's more to it than that, but it is the easiest and best advice I can give, because it gets you in the door and makes every other step easier.
Deleted Member Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 Some people just don't know how to act right
ge**** Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 Simple answer is you can't "make" a connection, as in taking any specific actions in order to generate them - "connections" and chemistry happen naturally and organically and you can't predict them or *** them. . I've had plenty of instances where a level of "connection" has been found with people on-line, and in each and every one of them, they've developed over time and through a conversation that has flowed naturally and easily - now some of those have gone on to be more, some have gone on to be firm friendships and nothing more, and some of them have fizzled out just as naturally as they started. . The thing people lose sight of on sites like this is actually it's no different in its basic form than in person - sure the physical connection and context isn't there - but in terms of how you "connect" with some people and don't with others it's no different. . I also think a lot of people place a lot of emphasis on forcing the situation on-line and trying to fit themselves to what they think another person wants rather than being their natural selves. . Personally I don't send cold messages to other people who I've had no interaction with (not often anyway and when I do it's not with meeting them in mind) and prefer to hang out around the forums and allow conversations to spark naturally that way, invariably it makes for a much better and more natural experience of a connection developing. . I just find the whole notion of cold messaging very stilted and awkward and usually that it leads nowhere.
Foxter Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 Building a connection is much more than finding out about the person. Conversation shouldn't be like an interview. You need to find a topic you can both talk about, start with jokes, something relating to their profile, interesting theories, deep conversations. You have plenty of time to ask how many brother and ***s they have later.
Koby Posted July 17, 2022 Posted July 17, 2022 Depends on the needs of the individual. Some want the pop and fizzy - titillation Some want the slow and steady pour- long-term connection
Dirk1 Posted July 27, 2022 Posted July 27, 2022 Nono that's no good way if being and respect.. I say.. It's logical.. And I tell you: no smalltalk.. Let's say very smart what you bringing here.. Let's think people.. This is no bullshit
to**** Posted August 16, 2022 Posted August 16, 2022 Monsoon: Fet is no different than any other forum. People claim to want LTR and connections, but when the rubber hits the road, things change. You’ll find this is potentially true with any new couple. Commitment hesitation and ***.
Deleted Member Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 From my personal perspective a lot of people who message say they want to build a connection. However then jump to wanting more pics of being overly sexual.. I know it’s a fet site but engage my mind and get to know me .. if you really want a connection I do find messaging on here a bit clunky though ..
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