Non-binary

[Deleted Member]

I was wondering how all you non-binary lovelies find things on here? I seem to be attracting mostly straight men who seem to think I'm something I'm not (I don't have a woman's body - which I'd be happier with but there you go). Which is very sweet they initially seem to like my butt, but is a little frustrating because when I point out what I am, they backpedal some. Meaning no spankings for me 😭 So how have you guys navigated this?

[Sl****]

Hmmmm… I’ve been on here for around 3 years now and my experience has been pretty much the same since I started. Occasional messages from people here and there sometimes but that’s about it.

[ge****]

Honestly I haven't found much success here either. It seems 99 percent of people on here are either bots or guys that only want full trans or female.

[Sixtyniner121068]

Join a local dungeon or impact club.

[le****]

I just started a profile yesterday, but to answer your question maybe put exactly it is you are looking for/ want/ expecting in your profile? Non-binary looking for….I mean this site seems to work best with communicating what our kinks, wants and desires are and hope to play them out. Or is this a question on how to navigate to find what you want more?

[Deleted Member]

What’s up, what I say is coming from a straight guy (from the outside looking in). I figured I would give my $.02 anyways. Men are inherently hyper sexual. If a man has not gone through any biological changes/interventions, they will try to find someone they want to f**k aligned with their own ideological pattern. That is something tied to the sex hormones within the cascade associate with testosterone that is unavoidable if everything is working properly.
To get to the point, very few people like connection-less sex on a regular basis. Try establishing more of a connection through banter and conversation (similar interests, kinks, etc.) before opening up to them. It won’t solve the issue you are sharing, and I apologize I can’t directly help with that. Hopefully someone else on here can help more. But I can say that underneath gender, people are individual entities that appreciate and thrive off of connection and support around each other’s vulnerabilities. Knowing many trans people over the years, the rejection from straight or curious guys will always be there. They found success in being completely comfortable and confident in what they are, where they stand and where they want to be. If someone can’t get along with any of those points, it’s not the right time or they aren’t the right person. That has no bearing on you aside from your own ideological desires being shattered. Don’t let that get you down and keep you from finding what you are looking for. This is a dating app in essence. If I was constantly feeling rejected when I didn’t get a match or meet up with the person I was interested in, I would not have met the person I am with. Again- straight guy who might be preaching to the wrong quire. I hope you get the gist of what I’m saying. Confidence and perseverance make the difference in the dating world from what I gather. More app specific- connections and bonding open people up and hopefully bring you closer to what you’re looking for

[Deleted Member]

Thanks guys, all sound advice! I'll tweak my bio and be more explicit! X

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, leashed1978 said:

I just started a profile yesterday, but to answer your question maybe put exactly it is you are looking for/ want/ expecting in your profile? Non-binary looking for….I mean this site seems to work best with communicating what our kinks, wants and desires are and hope to play them out. Or is this a question on how to navigate to find what you want more?

There is an "Interested in" section on people's profiles, however it is low down on a profile, it should be near the top of a profile, so at the top of a person's profile it has a person's Gender & Interested in, clearly shown. I think it would be helpful too if with it there was some indication of dom/sub/switch or fetish.

e.g., Hello my name is "insert name", I am "insert gender", interested in "insert gender(s)" & my main role or fetish is "insert role or fetish". 

In profile settings it would be a a few tick boxes, (ones already present on profiles so could be copied), select the option you want, give a couple of extra options like for "role or fetish" have an extra option of "complex please ask", options on "interested in" like pansexual. 

I think it would benefit the ease of understanding on the site of who we are & what we want, in just 1 sentence at the top. At present to see if someone is interested in your gender & what role/fetish you have to scroll down half way to see. 

Just an observation. 

[Deleted Member]

Yes, I was thinking the same @DomDaddySir! I've updated my profile, so will see how that works, although it's now quite long. Still, being on here has been my best app experience so far, and I am now chatting to some lovely people. More on the friend basis but that's cool. Enjoying making like minded friends, even if I'm so far no closer to getting my butt tanned! 😅 I am at least narrowing down an ideal type of person I'd most like to play with. Just need to find them now!

[Ba****]

Trans man, but I experience something similar.
A lot of people seem to think that because I'm submissive trans man means that I like feminine compliments and whatnot. (I dont. Hate them with a passion.) I also seem to attract a lot if straight guys. Yeah, I appreciate that they find me attractive, but I can't even talk to someone that is straight because they're normally expecting me to feminine and shit.

[Deleted Member]

Ah that sucks for you Nate. That's sounds more like misgendering than anything, which even if not intended isn't cool and not nice to experience. I guess it's tricky, because I can think of some people as 'cute', say, and in my mind it's not exclusively about being feminine. I find butch lesbians awesomely cute (grace petrie's cool and adorable as well as kick a**), though it might not be taken as a compliment so I wouldn't say it out loud just in case (and I wouldn't want it to be taken as a come on either, because I'm clearly not a lesbian!) I guess we've only just ended up with this big variety of LGBTQ+ lovelies in all our glorious versions, and now not only we, but everyone else has to work out how to view and interact with us! By the way, have changed my profile; still getting straight men message me and like my butt. I'd like to think it was me being irresistible but actually it probably has more to do with people not paying enough attention or maybe needing another eyetest 😂

[Go****]

Just have to find your match. There’s someone out there for all of us. You’re not the only one having trouble finding them. We all struggle that’s why Fet is so great for us.

[Ph****]

Oh gosh I feel this, I don’t hardly message with people on here anymore because as soon as I do they ask what parts I have because they can’t tell, when that’s the point. Or at least they used to, maybe not so much anymore