Slave vs Submissive

[le****]

Can I kindly ask to write your understanding for each ?
Many people have difficulty getting the right name for themselves and that leads to a degree of miscommunication and misunderstanding

[Deleted Member]

Just commenting so I see the answers too

[ey****]

slave v submissive discourse is one that won't die

there are a lot of good writings on this on the wider web which I can't link to

but it's worth deciding how you yourself define - alongside prospective partners.

For me personally.

A slave is generally property to be treat to owners wishes.  This is not to say there is no limits or safeword but it would generally be an ongoing CNC arrangement.  

A submissive is more likely to operate within mutually agreed limits and boundaries.  

[je****]

Following

[br****]

A sub is usually pretty exclusive to the bed room and has their own personality in normal life, while a slave is like a full time sub in and out of the bedroom

[Deleted Member]

The simplest definition is that a submissive has a voice and a slave doesn't.

[ca****]

I think it's supposed to be pretty simple. A slave does what they are told because they have no choice. A submissive does what they're told because they choose to. A submissive doing something they'd rather not do because their Dom asked it, is a very powerful and sexy thing. A slave doing the same thing is from a position of weakness, and that doesn't seem sexy or even safe.

[Ma****]

I think that the lovely things about kink are, that it's all inclusive, non judgemental, that each of us are evolving as we learn. That we recognise that not everyone fits into just one label and that each dynamic is truely dependent upon the individuals within it.

[Ninepointer]

I think it's a matter of negotiation....

[Sl****]

I guess slaves are like really intense submissives in my thought. minimal limits etc etc. submissives I’d say have lighter stuff?

[Go****]

Submissive is a life giving up control in the situations you have discussed (usually just the bedroom) and slave is a life with no control…a life of servitude.

[Deleted Member]

The simplest definition between a submissive and a slave is that a submissive has a voice and a slave doesn't.

[ge****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

slave v submissive discourse is one that won't die

there are a lot of good writings on this on the wider web which I can't link to

but it's worth deciding how you yourself define - alongside prospective partners.

For me personally.

A slave is generally property to be treat to owners wishes.  This is not to say there is no limits or safeword but it would generally be an ongoing CNC arrangement.  

A submissive is more likely to operate within mutually agreed limits and boundaries.  

About sums it up from my perspective too - though as you rightly say the definition of either is fairly subjective and down to individual perceptions and agreements.

Only other way I can think to put it is "slave" implies ownership, whereas "submissive" is more a state of mind but even that is open to individual interpretation.

[Pa****]

A slave gives its consent once. A submissive gives it every time.

[An****]

The way I see it a submissive is a consensually willing participant and slave is what I like to call 'consensually unwilling' for me it's more fun if I feel like I don't have a choice 🙃

[Deleted Member]

If I was to put it it's simplest terms, which I will because these things are very nuanced to individuals so I won't go stating too much on behalf of others, but... To me 'submissive' is a mind set. how you see yourself within the dynamics of your life and your relationships. This effects how you behave....To me 'Slave' is much more of an active role. So this really requires 2 people at least to be able to be called a 'Slave'. Of course, submission is a big part of slavery but I think it's much more of a practical, controlled behaviour.

[de****]

Interesting. I’ve always though of myself as a submissive but I think I am just submissive to being a slave. Does that make sense?

[le****]

52 minutes ago, PaddleRope said:

A slave gives its consent once. A submissive gives it every time.

I like it

[ri****]

This is really amazing 🤣

[Pa****]

This is such a great subject and the answers being given are wonderful. Thank you everyone for sharing.

[Da****]

5 hours ago, cakayakdiver said:

I think it's supposed to be pretty simple. A slave does what they are told because they have no choice. A submissive does what they're told because they choose to. A submissive doing something they'd rather not do because their Dom asked it, is a very powerful and sexy thing. A slave doing the same thing is from a position of weakness, and that doesn't seem sexy or even safe.

I disagree with the slave is from a position of weakness..a slave is just as strong as a sub, if not even stronger because they have chosen to give full control someone 100% control of their life. The idea that a slave is any weaker than a sub disrespects the slave.

[Ki****]

6 hours ago, cakayakdiver said:

I think it's supposed to be pretty simple. A slave does what they are told because they have no choice. A submissive does what they're told because they choose to. A submissive doing something they'd rather not do because their Dom asked it, is a very powerful and sexy thing. A slave doing the same thing is from a position of weakness, and that doesn't seem sexy or even safe.

Yes. 100%

[gi****]

I think, and truly my own opinion, there is a great deal of crossover functionally between the two roles. An important part of this is how the sub or slave defines it and themselves. What is their identity? This can contribute to confusion, but also allows for the openness of expression and experience in bdsm. Great discussion and answers.

[An****]

So not to take away from the main topic. But for me the appeal of the struggle as a sub/slave before the eventual submission is one of the most appealing parts. LOSING the control. What does I always felt like this was the difference but now reading everyone’s comments I’m not sure if it’s not different category all together lol. But for me that was always the appeal of slavery over submission was a sub hands over the control. What happens after is moot the roles merge.

Edited August 16, 2022 by AndiBoi
Typo

[Deleted Member]

I’ve always though of myself as a little and a sub. To me being a little means that daddy gives me rules in and out of the bedroom. Sometimes he makes choices for me because they’re good for me. I’ve never seen that as related to being a slave. I think part of the line between sun and slave is the way commands are delivered and the reason behind the command. I think if you’re a slave your dom gives commands for his benefit and pleasure. If you’re a sub/little then they are for the sub and or both of you.