Psychological *** is real

[PandoraNuada]

There are a horrifying number of people who deny that psychological *** is even *** at all. And the most frightening part about it is that there are entire schools of logic created to promote the idea that an individual who reacts to psychological *** is in fact the problem. And there are people who use this logic to promote the idea that we should indiscriminately provoke... that we should psychologically ***... anyone... everyone... in order to expose those who are problems in the crowd.

[CopperKnob]

Hi Pandora, yes, psychological *** is very real.
Given your post yesterday and this one today, can I just check that you're ok?

[Je****]

38 minutes ago, PandoraNuada said:

And the most frightening part about it is that there are entire schools of logic created to promote the idea that an individual who reacts to psychological *** is in fact the problem.

Im currently fighting this. Its horrible. 

People provoking and goading you and gaslighting so you react then they claim youre the bad one.

Its cowardly and shameful and nothing but playground bully mentality and id fight to the death to stop it. 

 

If you are currently facing this or having difficulty please know this site, a lot of members, some mods and this forum are here to support and listen to you. Youre not alone and you will overcome. Cus badness eventuallt rots and the daisys grow ❤❤❤

[An****]

I dealt with this for years in more than one relationship. I’m truly sorry. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not valid or that you are delusional. Your gut will always know. That’s what makes it so hard. Because we are so certain we’re right but they’re so good at manipulating that it plants that seed that you may not be. Especially when it’s someone you care for and want to understand you. My advice is to get as far away as possible from these people however hard it may be. The alternative is depression. Psychological damage. Or worse. I know it’s hard. But please seek professional help. Seeking help doesn’t make you crazy. A lot of times it will validate you having someone who is a professional weigh in. My thoughts are with you.

[Deleted Member]

It is obvious you have suffered *** but this "crusade" you are on is not healthy, it won't do your mental health any good, in fact the opposite & you are displaying narcissistic traits in your unwavering beliefs, making ikon sweeping generalisations, making statements as fact without providing evidence or sources for your claims, like stating there's a horryfung number of people who deny psychological *** is *** - in 18 years the only people I have encountered as denying psychological *** is ***, is ***rs.

You are acting like a vigilante, like a super hero trying to save the world & that seems to be developing in to a god complex & that you have to do this, without you, the ***rs will be unchecked, and it's your responsibility to save those experiencing *** & that's just not healthy if your sitting their Google stuff & just sticking your interpretations of it on a website.

If you want to help people go study, go volunteer, train to help others as that is a much healthier way to help people, instead of attacking people who dare to disagree with anything you say, calling people you know nothing about as fake doms, that you are the authority on who is or isn't a good dom, (quite narcisstic), just how many doms, that you know absolutely nothing about, have you called fake & how many of them did you call fake just because they dared to question your beliefs & opinions? And how is that any different from other forms of bullying & ***, you attacked me & insulted me for disagreeing with your generalisations & using your opinions as facts. You claimed narcissists can never change when it is clinically proven they can change & if you just Google "can a narcissist change" there is article after article stating they can if they want to change & engage in the support needed to change, just as I myself did, am I perfect no, have all my narcissistic traits just vanished, of course not, but through my own studing, a counsellor, psychiatrist & psychologist, I have changed considerably over the past 20 years, I understand myself better, my behaviour, my actions, how I've treated people in the past & has made me more mindful about my behaviour & how I treat people & it's ironic you verbally attacked me first, insulting me, trying to bully me, making claims I'm a fake dom, when surely it should of been me attacking you verbally & not the other way round based on your claims. 
 

Edited August 18, 2022 by Deleted Member
Edit

[CopperKnob]

17 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said:

It is obvious you have suffered *** but this "crusade" you are on is not healthy, it won't do your mental health any good, in fact the opposite & you are displaying narcissistic traits in your unwavering beliefs, making ikon sweeping generalisations, making statements as fact without providing evidence or sources for your claims, like stating there's a horryfung number of people who deny psychological *** is *** - in 18 years the only people I have encountered as denying psychological *** is ***, is ***rs.

You are acting like a vigilante, like a super hero trying to save the world & that seems to be developing in to a god complex & that you have to do this, without you, the ***rs will be unchecked, and it's your responsibility to save those experiencing *** & that's just not healthy if your sitting their Google stuff & just sticking your interpretations of it on a website.

If you want to help people go study, go volunteer, train to help others as that is a much healthier way to help people, instead of attacking people who dare to disagree with anything you say, calling people you know nothing about as fake doms, that you are the authority on who is or isn't a good dom, (quite narcisstic), just how many doms, that you know absolutely nothing about, have you called fake & how many of them did you call fake just because they dared to question your beliefs & opinions? And how is that any different from other forms of bullying & ***, you attacked me & insulted me for disagreeing with your generalisations & using your opinions as facts. You claimed narcissists can never change when it is clinically proven they can change & if you just Google "can a narcissist change" there is article after article stating they can if they want to change & engage in the support needed to change, just as I myself did, am I perfect no, have all my narcissistic traits just vanished, of course not, but through my own studing, a counsellor, psychiatrist & psychologist, I have changed considerably over the past 20 years, I understand myself better, my behaviour, my actions, how I've treated people in the past & has made me more mindful about my behaviour & how I treat people & it's ironic you verbally attacked me first, insulting me, trying to bully me, making claims I'm a fake dom, when surely it should of been me attacking you verbally & not the other way round based on your claims. 
 

Currently there is no context for Pandora's forum posts and it seems that you've made a lot of assumptions around their motivation for posting which may or may not be correct.
I'm struggling with your comment because, to me, it seems that the pair of you had a disagreement yesterday which wasn't resolved. Despite that, given that the context is unknown, I don't think we should be attacking each other which, I'm sorry to say, is how your comment reads.

[An****]

29 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Currently there is no context for Pandora's forum posts and it seems that you've made a lot of assumptions around their motivation for posting which may or may not be correct.
I'm struggling with your comment because, to me, it seems that the pair of you had a disagreement yesterday which wasn't resolved. Despite that, given that the context is unknown, I don't think we should be attacking each other which, I'm sorry to say, is how your comment reads.

Took the words out of my mouth. You need to relax. Calling her post a crusade then writing a novel trying to tear her. You just re-en***d her point if anything. You sound like someone who is trying really hard to make yourself feel better about something.

[An****]

48 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said:

It is obvious you have suffered *** but this "crusade" you are on is not healthy, it won't do your mental health any good, in fact the opposite & you are displaying narcissistic traits in your unwavering beliefs, making ikon sweeping generalisations, making statements as fact without providing evidence or sources for your claims, like stating there's a horryfung number of people who deny psychological *** is *** - in 18 years the only people I have encountered as denying psychological *** is ***, is ***rs.

You are acting like a vigilante, like a super hero trying to save the world & that seems to be developing in to a god complex & that you have to do this, without you, the ***rs will be unchecked, and it's your responsibility to save those experiencing *** & that's just not healthy if your sitting their Google stuff & just sticking your interpretations of it on a website.

If you want to help people go study, go volunteer, train to help others as that is a much healthier way to help people, instead of attacking people who dare to disagree with anything you say, calling people you know nothing about as fake doms, that you are the authority on who is or isn't a good dom, (quite narcisstic), just how many doms, that you know absolutely nothing about, have you called fake & how many of them did you call fake just because they dared to question your beliefs & opinions? And how is that any different from other forms of bullying & ***, you attacked me & insulted me for disagreeing with your generalisations & using your opinions as facts. You claimed narcissists can never change when it is clinically proven they can change & if you just Google "can a narcissist change" there is article after article stating they can if they want to change & engage in the support needed to change, just as I myself did, am I perfect no, have all my narcissistic traits just vanished, of course not, but through my own studing, a counsellor, psychiatrist & psychologist, I have changed considerably over the past 20 years, I understand myself better, my behaviour, my actions, how I've treated people in the past & has made me more mindful about my behaviour & how I treat people & it's ironic you verbally attacked me first, insulting me, trying to bully me, making claims I'm a fake dom, when surely it should of been me attacking you verbally & not the other way round based on your claims. 
 

Ridiculous

[Je****]

Im seeing this from 2 sides. 

 

The fact that he is tearing her apart and such

 

Then what he said about how she got aggressive with him so he retaliates and now looks like the bad one. 

 

Its clearly a deeper issue between the two and imma bow out but ive no idea whats going on.

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Currently there is no context for Pandora's forum posts and it seems that you've made a lot of assumptions around their motivation for posting which may or may not be correct.
I'm struggling with your comment because, to me, it seems that the pair of you had a disagreement yesterday which wasn't resolved. Despite that, given that the context is unknown, I don't think we should be attacking each other which, I'm sorry to say, is how your comment reads.

How am I attacking them by saying this isn't healthy, that what they are doing isn't good for mental health. 

They are making generalisations & sweeping statements that personally I know not to be accurate, like stating narcissists can't change when there is an abundance of articles, studies etc that prove they can & how many of those did they ignore to find the one that said they can't change. They do have an agenda against outing people they perceive, and it is perceive, not know, as ***rs/fake doms, it is their opinion that certain people are as ***rs or fake doms on here, not fact & it even says on their profile about this subject proving they do have an agenda & not just an assumption of mine. 

I can see how unhealthy this behaviour is, (I'm not going to stick my CV on here but I have many years experience in this field), as whilst they are speaking out about narcissists & ***rs they are acting with narcissistic behaviour & aren't afraid to attack or insult someone, like the fake dom comment about me, without knowing anything about me & how many others have they said that about without actually knowing the person - is that not abusive, to insult people, to make claims about them that they have no evidence to prove & saying it to people who disagree with them, resulting in flinging mud. 

And I suggested if they want to help to go do it properly, train, volunteer, because sitting at home trawling the Internet & posting stuff on here isn't the way to help people, it isn't a healthy way to help people, especially when some of their "facts" are inaccurate & scientifically proven to be inaccurate & in long run can do more hard to their mental health than good & could harm others if you are presenting yourself as an authority on a topic without the necessary training & experience to do so - I've seen behaviour like this before, where someone is so focused on their purpose, they don't see they start developing the traits they are trying to expose or fight against, that their judgement gets clouded & they don't realise some of the stuff they are saying is insulting, inconsiderate, self centered & even abusive to others - what makes them an authority on who is or isn't fake, other than their own belief, they aren't but they are acting like they are & condemning members on here, outing them as fake. 

You can take what I say as attacking them but anyone else with training & experience would pick up on the same points I have made.&would make the same suggestion of if you really want to help people don't be a keyboard warrior, go train & do it properly. 

[Deleted Member]

18 minutes ago, AndiBoi said:

Took the words out of my mouth. You need to relax. Calling her post a crusade then writing a novel trying to tear her. You just re-en***d her point if anything. You sound like someone who is trying really hard to make yourself feel better about something.

I'm not basing my point about crusade solely on this post, it's based on several posts & their profile & I'm suggesting they use this passion to go train & help & support people in a more productive & healthy way. 

[CopperKnob]

4 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said:

How am I attacking them by saying this isn't healthy, that what they are doing isn't good for mental health. 

They are making generalisations & sweeping statements that personally I know not to be accurate, like stating narcissists can't change when there is an abundance of articles, studies etc that prove they can & how many of those did they ignore to find the one that said they can't change. They do have an agenda against outing people they perceive, and it is perceive, not know, as ***rs/fake doms, it is their opinion that certain people are as ***rs or fake doms on here, not fact & it even says on their profile about this subject proving they do have an agenda & not just an assumption of mine. 

I can see how unhealthy this behaviour is, (I'm not going to stick my CV on here but I have many years experience in this field), as whilst they are speaking out about narcissists & ***rs they are acting with narcissistic behaviour & aren't afraid to attack or insult someone, like the fake dom comment about me, without knowing anything about me & how many others have they said that about without actually knowing the person - is that not abusive, to insult people, to make claims about them that they have no evidence to prove & saying it to people who disagree with them, resulting in flinging mud. 

And I suggested if they want to help to go do it properly, train, volunteer, because sitting at home trawling the Internet & posting stuff on here isn't the way to help people, it isn't a healthy way to help people, especially when some of their "facts" are inaccurate & scientifically proven to be inaccurate & in long run can do more hard to their mental health than good & could harm others if you are presenting yourself as an authority on a topic without the necessary training & experience to do so - I've seen behaviour like this before, where someone is so focused on their purpose, they don't see they start developing the traits they are trying to expose or fight against, that their judgement gets clouded & they don't realise some of the stuff they are saying is insulting, inconsiderate, self centered & even abusive to others - what makes them an authority on who is or isn't fake, other than their own belief, they aren't but they are acting like they are & condemning members on here, outing them as fake. 

You can take what I say as attacking them but anyone else with training & experience would pick up on the same points I have made.&would make the same suggestion of if you really want to help people don't be a keyboard warrior, go train & do it properly. 

Not my monkey. Not my circus 🤷‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

Im seeing this from 2 sides. 

 

The fact that he is tearing her apart and such

 

Then what he said about how she got aggressive with him so he retaliates and now looks like the bad one. 

 

Its clearly a deeper issue between the two and imma bow out but ive no idea whats going on.

OK so if I know that they are saying things that are in accurate I should keep my mouth shut, if I see certain behaviours I shouldnt say anything, they calling me & other fake doms without even knowing them, should I just accept that & I've been constructive in saying go train & help people in the real world if they have this drive to help people & stop ***. 

Edited August 18, 2022 by Deleted Member

[Je****]

3 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said:

OK so if I know that they are saying things that are in accurate I should keep my mouth shut, if I see certain behaviours I shouldnt say anything, they calling me & other fake doms without even knowing them, should I just accept that & I've been constructive in saying go train & help people in the real world if they have this drive to help people & stop ***. 

Firstly i dont want dragged into it.

 

 

Secondly 

Im saying theres clearly a deeper meaning behind this post for you and OP.

 

Thirdly 

 

I am looking at both sides based off the actual wording on the post.

 

Either youre attacking her and being arsey for whatever reason and being how she describes...

 

Or.....

This is a classic example of how youve been ***d by her in some form and are RETALIATING and literally proving the point of the post that youre the criminal based off her provoking you. 

 

I see both sides and i recognise this isnt straight forward.

Perhaps if shes as you claim, it's a lost cause and maybe walk from it before you look worse retaliating to aggressive posts.

 

Believe me ive been provoked and goaded and once i lash back all people see is my anger. It doesnt help anyone

[Deleted Member]

If anything I've said is perceived as insulting or attacking I didn't mean it, I have Aspergers syndrome & things don't always translate from my head into words as well as I like, especially when just typing in message boxes like this. I just trying to say this isn't healthy, especially when some things aren't true & there are better ways to help people & training could turn her negative experiences into a career. 

Edited August 18, 2022 by Deleted Member

[Chloebear]

1 hour ago, DomDaddySir said:

It is obvious you have suffered *** but this "crusade" you are on is not healthy, it won't do your mental health any good, in fact the opposite & you are displaying narcissistic traits in your unwavering beliefs, making ikon sweeping generalisations, making statements as fact without providing evidence or sources for your claims, like stating there's a horryfung number of people who deny psychological *** is *** - in 18 years the only people I have encountered as denying psychological *** is ***, is ***rs.

You are acting like a vigilante, like a super hero trying to save the world & that seems to be developing in to a god complex & that you have to do this, without you, the ***rs will be unchecked, and it's your responsibility to save those experiencing *** & that's just not healthy if your sitting their Google stuff & just sticking your interpretations of it on a website.

If you want to help people go study, go volunteer, train to help others as that is a much healthier way to help people, instead of attacking people who dare to disagree with anything you say, calling people you know nothing about as fake doms, that you are the authority on who is or isn't a good dom, (quite narcisstic), just how many doms, that you know absolutely nothing about, have you called fake & how many of them did you call fake just because they dared to question your beliefs & opinions? And how is that any different from other forms of bullying & ***, you attacked me & insulted me for disagreeing with your generalisations & using your opinions as facts. You claimed narcissists can never change when it is clinically proven they can change & if you just Google "can a narcissist change" there is article after article stating they can if they want to change & engage in the support needed to change, just as I myself did, am I perfect no, have all my narcissistic traits just vanished, of course not, but through my own studing, a counsellor, psychiatrist & psychologist, I have changed considerably over the past 20 years, I understand myself better, my behaviour, my actions, how I've treated people in the past & has made me more mindful about my behaviour & how I treat people & it's ironic you verbally attacked me first, insulting me, trying to bully me, making claims I'm a fake dom, when surely it should of been me attacking you verbally & not the other way round based on your claims. 
 

Honestly…. This whole response read as narcissistic. Essentially: you can’t be right because your opinion isn’t mine, I have changed because I believe I have, your opinion is invalid and irrelevant…. The OP stated an observation which is absolutely true. It is a tactic used by narcissists and others, but it’s also used by people without experience of certain experiences who don’t understand the trauma psych *** can bring.

Other people disagreeing with you are not attacking you. Others are allowed different opinions. We do not need a breakdown of your experiences as a narcissist to understand someone’s experience of *** and will to promote understanding. There was nothing in this post that referred to you in any way, you implicated yourself. Seeing yourself as the important feature is someone else’s comment…. I’m glad if you’ve made progress. It is accepted that NPD is not a PD that is resolvable. You can improve understanding of impact on others and mitigate behaviours and impulses to an extent, like most other PDs.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Chloebear said:

Honestly…. This whole response read as narcissistic. Essentially: you can’t be right because your opinion isn’t mine, I have changed because I believe I have, your opinion is invalid and irrelevant…. The OP stated an observation which is absolutely true. It is a tactic used by narcissists and others, but it’s also used by people without experience of certain experiences who don’t understand the trauma psych *** can bring.

Other people disagreeing with you are not attacking you. Others are allowed different opinions. We do not need a breakdown of your experiences as a narcissist to understand someone’s experience of *** and will to promote understanding. There was nothing in this post that referred to you in any way, you implicated yourself. Seeing yourself as the important feature is someone else’s comment…. I’m glad if you’ve made progress. It is accepted that NPD is not a PD that is resolvable. You can improve understanding of impact on others and mitigate behaviours and impulses to an extent, like most other PDs.

Again my comments are based on more than just this post. 

[Chloebear]

4 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said:

Again my comments are based on more than just this post. 

Nonetheless, I stand by my observations.

[Lo****]

52 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said:

Again my comments are based on more than just this post. 

Personally, I think you need to step away from this person’s posts. You are coming across as aggressive, whether you mean to or not, and it’s not helping. The OP should be allowed to discuss what she needs to discuss without her topics constantly being derailed by your opinions.

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

Personally, I think you need to step away from this person’s posts. You are coming across as aggressive, whether you mean to or not, and it’s not helping. The OP should be allowed to discuss what she needs to discuss without her topics constantly being derailed by your opinions.

I made my post & that was going to be it but quoting me & speaking to me directly brings me back to the topic. 

[Lo****]

1 minute ago, DomDaddySir said:

I made my post & that was going to be it but quoting me & speaking to me directly brings me back to the topic. 

And I physically made you reply. Just stop it. You’ve been attacking this woman on at least three different forum topics.

If you don’t stop, now, I’m going to report you.

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

And I physically made you reply. Just stop it. You’ve been attacking this woman on at least three different forum topics.

If you don’t stop, now, I’m going to report you.

I haven't commented on 2 topics. 

 

And ill just say this, if these topics were about BDSM and dom/sub & you knew there were inaccuracies you would be one of the first to point out their inaccuracies & if you could see someone's actions wasn't helpful for mental health you would ignore it even if you had knowledge of mental health, no you wouldn't, you would most likely of done what I did & say this isnt healthy, if you want to help, go down a better path. 

[Lo****]

Just now, DomDaddySir said:

I haven't commented on 2 topics. 

 

And ill just say this, if these topics were about BDSM and dom/sub & you knew there were inaccuracies you would be one of the first to point out their inaccuracies & if you could see someone's actions wasn't helpful for mental health you would ignore it even if you had knowledge of mental health, no you wouldn't, you would most likely of done what I did & say this isnt healthy, if you want to help, go down a better path. 

I reported you.

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

I reported you.

OK, so you've reported me for replying to you when you address me directly

[Chloebear]

37 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said:

I haven't commented on 2 topics. 

 

And ill just say this, if these topics were about BDSM and dom/sub & you knew there were inaccuracies you would be one of the first to point out their inaccuracies & if you could see someone's actions wasn't helpful for mental health you would ignore it even if you had knowledge of mental health, no you wouldn't, you would most likely of done what I did & say this isnt healthy, if you want to help, go down a better path. 

We know about mental health. Reaching out is not harmful for mental health, as has happened here several people have offered support. Checking what’s in your head against what others think isn’t harmful either, it’s a cognitive behavioural technique. Finding support, engaging with a community, seeking not to be isolated…. All of these things assist mental health recovery. Moving forward is a part of healing from trauma, so is understanding and processing. Asking someone to not talk about it for no apparent reason strikes me as unreasonable and is exactly the kind of isolating behaviour this post seems to make us aware of…. One of many red flags.