Advice on my journey

[Deleted Member]

I have discovered that I am kinky only recently. I have had a play date with a good friend but I wasn't sure of my role. She said I am not quite a dom because I am very caring and sweet. I like to be a bit out of control. She said that I need a mommy and I might be a boytoy.What is that? I await your advice. She also said I give great after care

[MsDrawers]

It can be tough working out how you fit and what roles suit you but I think its important to remember 1)this tends to shift and flex a little with time 22)no one gets to tell you who and what you are. Do things your way. Read. Watch. Learn. Listen. But you get to make those decisions.

[TxFrank]

No offense, but forget what she said. Decide for yourself. Don't think about labels at this stage. Focus on what you want and who you want it with. Be clear when you meet what you will and won't accept. And enjoy whatever y'all do agree upon.

[BruiseWayne]

Nah man sounds like BS to me. Don't let anybody else define your roles for you. I'm super sadistic, mean, cruel, unfair, unforgiving, and downright evil, but I'm also very praise heavy and caring and sweet in my own way.

If you happen to have some switch tendencies that's cool too, but decide that for yourself because unfortunately too many people use their position and experience and authority in kink to try and manipulate you into doing what they want. Mind you I'm not accusing her of having bad intentions like that, it might just be a little fun seductive game for her ( and you ) which is perfectly okay too, but just be on the look out for shit like that is all.

Don't let anybody else tell you who you are. She might even be right, but still...

 

Honestly it just sounds like she wants you to sub to her.

Edited August 23, 2022 by BruiseWayne

[ge****]

As others have said, forget about what others may tell you - where do *you* think you fit? What interests you? What motivates you? What makes you answer whatever you answered to those questions?
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Do some introspection and self-examination and determine where you want this to take you - do you think you're submissive? Dominant? Switch? Maybe none of those things?
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What floats your boat? What fantasies do you have? Know it's not the best guide, but what porn do you choose to watch, and what of it makes you go "Oh wow"?
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Take some on-line questionnaires - both the ones that determine how dominant/submissive you are and the ones that list various activities for you to rank 1-5 or whatever, in fact do that one twice, once from the perspective of whether you want the activity doing to you, and once from the perspective of whether you'd do it to others. They're not absolutes of course, but they should give you and idea and help shape your thinking.