New to bdsm

[subbysub-9889]

Heyo. I'm actually brand spanking new to this community. It's kind of a long, awkward story, but basically, I told my best friend I was in love with him and one thing lead to another. As it turns out, he's very into BDSM and though I'd never really thought much about it, discussing it with him and talking about it some has me really interested. I knew I was always rather submissive when it came to sex, but talking with him I'm starting to realize I'm not just slightly submissive but incredibly submissive. Which is fine, because he's incredibly dominant. 

 

Being so new to this, I'm a little nervous. We don't live in the same place so it's a LDR and we've not gotten to actually get to do anything yet. I trust him completely, but the problem is more my own anxiety. I've never considered doing anything like this before but I really want to, and though he has done his best to calm my nerves about some of it and has set limits with me, I'd really appreciate some more advice. On what to expect, mostly, but also some tips for first timers (which he is as well). Anything is welcome, and I greatly appreciate it!

[Deleted Member]

Hello and welcome :) I'd suggest doing a bit of reading around anything you're especially wanting to try - there's a whole load of informative articles in our magazine, many aimed at beginners: 

https://www.fetish.com/community/magazine/

Also, take your time, there's no rush to do it all in one swoop. :) Ask lots of questions and never be afraid to say 'no.' to something you're not 100% sure about :)

[GoddessAveena]

Or see a pro Domme and be mentored as a couple

[subbysub-9889]

11 minutes ago, VictoriaBlisse said:

Hello and welcome :) I'd suggest doing a bit of reading around anything you're especially wanting to try - there's a whole load of informative articles in our magazine, many aimed at beginners: 

https://www.fetish.com/community/magazine/

Also, take your time, there's no rush to do it all in one swoop. :) Ask lots of questions and never be afraid to say 'no.' to something you're not 100% sure about :)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. :)

One of the problems with us is that since we are in an LDR, there's only going to be a limited amount of time we'll be able to see each other in person. We can do all kinds of stuff online, but we're kind of rushed in the matter of the time we will have to spend with one another. Still, he's agreed we need to take it slow because I do have an anxiety issue and he's aware of that and my triggers. I just want to be a good sub and make him happy without any of my triggers getting in the way.

 

 

6 minutes ago, GoddessAveena said:

Or see a pro Domme and be mentored as a couple

I hadn't thought about this, but that could be a really good idea! Thank you for the tip!!

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, Subbysub said:

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. :)

One of the problems with us is that since we are in an LDR, there's only going to be a limited amount of time we'll be able to see each other in person. We can do all kinds of stuff online, but we're kind of rushed in the matter of the time we will have to spend with one another. Still, he's agreed we need to take it slow because I do have an anxiety issue and he's aware of that and my triggers. I just want to be a good sub and make him happy without any of my triggers getting in the way.
 

That sounds grand. You'll both get so much more out of the relationship if you take your time and get to know each other as you go along. It sounds like you've made a good start already. :) 

[subbysub-9889]

8 hours ago, VictoriaBlisse said:

That sounds grand. You'll both get so much more out of the relationship if you take your time and get to know each other as you go along. It sounds like you've made a good start already. :) 

We're definitely open to trying out new things with each other and we're constantly setting new rules/limits with each other so we know and neither of us ever feels uncomfortable. I read through almost every article in the dating & lifestyle one and was SO excited to find the one for long distance relationships. I had to send it to him right away and we got some new tips from it! Not only that but from so many other ones that I found too. So thank you again for sending me the link!! I'd have found it eventually I'm sure, but sooner was definitely better!

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, Subbysub said:

We're definitely open to trying out new things with each other and we're constantly setting new rules/limits with each other so we know and neither of us ever feels uncomfortable. I read through almost every article in the dating & lifestyle one and was SO excited to find the one for long distance relationships. I had to send it to him right away and we got some new tips from it! Not only that but from so many other ones that I found too. So thank you again for sending me the link!! I'd have found it eventually I'm sure, but sooner was definitely better!

Yay, fantastic! :D 

[Subbynick]

I mean if you were best friends before hand you should have some level of trust already there, my advice for first time is have a glass to drink before to relax and let go of some inhibitions and expect awkward pauses things will go wrong especially if you’re using restraints etc for the first time just be patient enjoy it and have fun