Dom insecurity normal?

September 17, 2022

Hi all! So my bf has started to become interested in being a femboy (in private) Im a chick and I feel a little insecure lately. He doesn't seem super interested in me physically. But when he's on Reddit or Twitter and he sees a femboy caged or getting pegged or anything like that he's instantly hard. I try and play with him when I notice he's hard and he just goes soft. I know for a fact he isn't getting it elsewhere cheating isn't a worry. But what is a worry to me is he isn't attracted to me anymore. Is this normal? How do I talk to him about feeling insecure? I don't want to kink shame and that's not my intentions I want to understand him more and make sure his needs are being met. But I have see him asking femboys online to "come drain him" and "to show off for him". To me that feels like cheating. Or intentions to. He also says he doesn't get how ppl can be turned on by cheating so I don't get it. I want to get it. But idk how to talk about this its such a sensitive topic. He says he's 100% straight but yet gets hard at the sight of a caged c***....

September 17, 2022

if he’s asking boys for a release maybe he’s probably not even attracted to girls

September 17, 2022

I definitely think it’s something you need to address with him, especially if he’s losing all sense of arousal when you’re near/touch him. I’d personally just tell him you want to talk to him, that there’s things you need to share, and go from there. Let him know you’re not trying to kink shame and you want to understand him better, but you’re feeling out of the loop and unattended. If he’s your Dom, your needs/wants should be top priority for him. Communication is key, always.

September 17, 2022

3 minutes ago, marieislucifer said:

if he’s asking boys for a release maybe he’s probably not even attracted to girls
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That's my ***. I'll support him by all means I'm bi. But losing him as my partner would be so sad and scary

September 17, 2022

4 minutes ago, switchbbyx said:

I definitely think it’s something you need to address with him, especially if he’s losing all sense of arousal when you’re near/touch him. I’d personally just tell him you want to talk to him, that there’s things you need to share, and go from there. Let him know you’re not trying to kink shame and you want to understand him better, but you’re feeling out of the loop and unattended. If he’s your Dom, your needs/wants should be top priority for him. Communication is key, always.
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We switch so I'm Dom at times and others he is. Thank you so much ❤️

September 17, 2022

I think, with all due respect to you both and your relationship.... he may need to address and explore his sexuality.
My immediate advice, if you're open to it, is allow him to explore it in the comfort of your own home.
If this is something you're are uncomfortable with, maybe a hotel.
If not, then a conversation needs to be had. He may not want to "come out" but he needs to know you can be there for him either way.

September 17, 2022

hi, I can only speak from his side, I had the same trouble, I go soft when it comes down to it, what I found was unless there was some form of domination physically from my partner, I didn't have any interest, and that wasn't down to her she was a goddess, an I'm sure your partner feels the same way about you, however he is probably wired different and it's not a bad thing, my suggestion is chastity, once he is locked, you will be his only thought all day and every day, it's as if he is walking around all day with your hand on it, I also recommend you make him pleasure you, while this chastity is on he will be far more attentive to you, but I believe he needs to realise that fantasy is not the same as reality, the stuff I researched on the internet and thought yes wow I'm keen, when it came down to it in RL it was a disappointment, the femboy side of things I'm sorry I cannot discuss, I have no experience when it comes to this, but on the side of not being interested in your partner anymore, it wasn't the case I found, I thought my ex was gorgeous and I was proud to be with her, but normal sex just didn't do it for me anymore, unless some of my fantasy was there I couldn't even get hard, I recommend 1 day a week you live his fantasy's but in turn you make him live yours once a week, keep it fair, the chastity really works though, also I'm sorry if I've waffled on, I joined this site maybe 20 mins ago and I've spend my day chained to a radiator in my Dommes garage, I didn't expect to get involved yet, expected to lurk for a while, but I just want you to know it's not you that doesn't get him hard it's the fetishes in his head, porn has desensitised the world that's why I've stopped watching it.

September 17, 2022

Do yourself and him a favour. Dump him and move on. He's obviously in denial.

September 17, 2022

Take control ASAP. Cage him and take control of the keys and let him know what you think, how you feel and what the desired out come is. I’d suggest doing some research into a kink friendly therapist and couples counseling. I would agree with you that he’s cheating on you and that’s not something from the sound of it that you consented to before or at the moment. If you Journal or keep a diary that’s great and if you don’t I’d suggest starting.

September 17, 2022

I feel your ***...although being online...they are just words...but you will have to open an honest dialogue with him...because if neither of your needs are being met it is both unhealthy for your relationship (whatever that may be)...and unfair on you both...but without dialogue neither of you will be able to figure out the way forward together...which nobody wants for either of you...I sincerely hope you can get him to open up to you...and i hope you work it out...you both deserve to be happy

September 17, 2022

Same thing is happening between me and my gf at this moment

September 17, 2022

Same thing is happening between me and my gf at this moment The truth is that (1) you get naked a lot in front of him , that makes him lose interest in you sexually (2) he’s bi curious

September 17, 2022

I’d voice your concerns to him the way you did in this post. Straightforward and what’s on your mind. Your needs aren’t being met and quite possibly his aren’t either.

September 18, 2022

Challenging situation. Maybe do a trial period of him exploring without any negative repercussions? Both agree upon the length and be clear with communication requirements. He could just be wanting to experiment or he may find he wants more. Regardless you seem to care for him and I’m sure he feels the same. Try not to take it personally, it might just be something bright and shiny for him at this moment.

September 18, 2022

I agree with moondom. He’s clearly more into guys and it’s not your fault it’s just his sexuality isn’t for girls

September 18, 2022

Easiest way is to come straight out and say what you need to say almost all men are curious they say they aren't but it's how it is he's shying away because he probably feels shameful inside but he's afraid to tell you he wants to experiment and hopes you'll encourage it so he can have both worlds

September 18, 2022

I always said to please urself all you want but never release unless with me

September 18, 2022

Treat him like a femboy he is, or wants to be. If you know for a fact that’s what he wants, give it to him.

September 18, 2022

As someone that assists couples in this all the time you need to cage him feminize him support him as he will definitely need a supportive friend just let him know that if your there for his needs he needs to understand you need a Man in your life. Especially if you can find a Bull like myself nearby that will assist you to feminize him and remind you that your a beautiful woman.

September 18, 2022

outside of sex, are you still doing the same things you did when you were courting each other? I've noticed with the older couples, whom I know, that the ones who do that are much happier in their relationships (sexually too, but not only that)

September 18, 2022

If you feel its cheating you need to have a serious chat with him. If you haven't already, establish boundaries.

September 18, 2022

I don't think he Is being honest with himself or you tbh

September 18, 2022

Maybe he wants you to be more dominant. Try feminizing him into a sissy slut and see how you like it

September 18, 2022

maybe he's been looking at too much porn and the fantasy world he's filled his head with has taken over normal life. Apart from abstinence, maybe you need to take him up on his new desires - cage him, and be tough with him, deny him all his pleasures until he's gets the idea that the fantasy needs to be 2nd place to reality. Either that, or he's just not being honest with himself, and chatting sexually with others online still counts as a form of cheating.

September 18, 2022

My 2 cents for what it’s worth… First take a breath. Second take a look at your entire relationship with him not just your sexual experience. If there are other cracks in that foundation it’s time to move on otherwise not. Although it’s not talked about a lot male arousal changes over time and it isn’t tied to how much he loves you. Men’s physiological fantasies and insecurities play a big part in arousal. Luckily you can take some control of that. Take him shopping to some nice women’s stores and buy him some outfits and make up. Make sure he chooses what he wants. Also get to know the style that turns him on of the men he fantasies serving. As an example if they are wearing dr Martens and muscle tee-shirts shirts than pick a few up for yourself. Invest in a good strap on which will please you when he blows it or you peg him. And maybe some good restraints and a blindfold for him. Get to know the type of treatment he responds to when he fantasies. Does he like degrading and *** like being called a bitch or slut. Mimic the commands and how they are said. If that does the trick and he gets hard make him give you some anal until release and clean you after with his tongue. Leave him restrained and blindfolded until you get cleaned up and change back into your regular persona and forbid him to talk about what just happened for at least a day. That might do the trick.