Online play: with vs against

[Deleted Member]

Hey all
Always wondered if there can be an ongoing online dynamic? What’s your experience…

[Deleted Member]

I’m my experience as a girl dom it gets quite boring and it takes a lot of work as a dom to keep your sub happy and in the end you have no one to take care of your needs so I often stay away

[Lord_Talion]

When was the last time you had sex with your computer without touching yourself?

[Li****]

I've enjoyed them, but would echo @aquamarine556 in that they can leave me wanting a bit more (as the dom).

[ge****]

Whilst I think it can be maintained for a short period of time, I think it comes to a point where a need for a more in person setting kicks in - that said it's possible to make it work over a longer period if it's what both people want, but takes careful management to do so.

[Deleted Member]

Online dynamics can be wonderful. But also extremely frustrating. Like any dynamic the trust has to be there. It can be so much harder for the Dominant and submissive if there is no "reward" at the end of it. But you find what works for you and don't settle for anything less than you deserve 🥰x

[sissy_petra_uk_slut]

I serve online, comminication is key, as is honesty. The excitement of phyiscal contact is missing, but you can still totally surrender, and as long as you fulfil the tasks its still great fun.

[Mezmerism]

I personally haven’t ever had an online dynamic with a submissive due to the nature of my kinks( abduction/interrogation play /erotic hypnosis
Giving tasks etc would bore me to death.
However, I have a friend who has online submissives and it seems to work for him?
(Im hoping he will see my comment on here and be able to shed some light on his own personal experience for you!)

[de****]

It depends on many things. Ive had some amazing online playmates for long periods of time. Most people are too lazy usually and aren't committed enough to keep it longer than just a few interactions anyway. But some can be amazing. Obviously, in most cases, real life meetups are much more powerful and overtake virtual relationship.
So... Not common, but possible.

[Ch****]

It can be a good top up to a 'relationship' while apart, keeping things active but online only does nothing for me personally, its got to be working towards something in person.

[Ha****]

I don’t see any reason why an online dynamic can’t sustain for a lengthy period of time if both partners are invested and find ways to beat the distance, there are several long distance toys available now to try and work around the road block that is didstance, at the end of the day it depends on the nature of yourself and the other individual, plus the ability to escalate into in person sessions before things do burn out naturally which has been what I’ve seen happening a lot with online dynamics

[Deleted Member]

I have a lot of online fun as a Submissive. More like long distance chatting. I’ve got a long distance vibrator for my Dom and I to play with.

[Kar_som]

As a sub switch, i am looking for that one. According to me, it is even hard to find then in person meet.

[Th****]

As a submissive I was in a dynamic with a dom for about 2 years. We live together now so

[Deleted Member]

I have had a few ongoing online dynamics, but they do only tend to last a few months at most. It really depends what both parties are in to I suppose, sometimes due to work schedules or location online suits best but generally for long term it will only last if there is a physical meet somewhere

[Deltaswitch]

I currently have a dom in an online dynamic. It's great. For some part I make my own rules such as if I'm caged I stay caged end of. She gives me tasks each night for her own entertainment, she asks how it makes me feel. But the kink part aside, she genuinely has an interest in my well being making sure I always tell her when I'm feeling down. Personally online play for me is a great stepping stone for irl play. It helps you recognise your limits, what you enjoy and it builds a connection and trust before you see them irl. I think online can be an ongoing dynamic aslong as both sides are putting in effort!

[Deleted Member]

I agree with some aspects of aquamarine556. In my previous experiences it works well for a while then need to be really creative or mix it with few actual meets (if possible)

[Of****]

I never got the online thing, it’s like smelling food when you’re hungry. IRL all the way

[NotThatDusty]

Since my local area has such a limited kinky population, I've found online relationships to be perfectly satisfying

[Jeromiah]

I personally prefer irl meets for anything because I’ve been doing only online chatting and friendships my whole life. Kinda crave the in person now tho I’ve not managed to meet that many people to meet, date or act out my fantasies and theirs with yet

[Ge****]

I’ve lived both. There’s no question that nothing can possibly substitute a physical relationship, be it vanilla or kink. Where a Power Exchange comes into play though can make things a bit different…. The reality of that concept is that one person submits some of their own autonomy to another. And there is definitely space for that to occur online.

But… and there is definitely a but here… both sides of the slash need to find some sense of fulfillment from it. For me, I do tend towards using trance/hypnosis as a part of that online dynamic. It can make the physical fulfillment radically powerful/realistic for my subs. And while that doesn’t “get me off” at all by definition, what I get from that is the reality of the sense of control… and I use it to create sexual fulfillment wherever I can… so we both benefit. As to the rest of it, I have helped any number of online submissives through rough patches in their lives, pushed them to get past their slumps, and generally feel more fulfillment from their own lives… and for me as a Daddy Dom, even though that may not truly be the nature of the dynamic (and typically, it isn’t), that nurturing side of me wants to see people be their best…. And therefore I get a sense of satisfaction from that.

Can they work? Can they last? Yes. As much as any relationship can… it takes diligence, and it takes deliberate effort on both sides. But can anyone truly argue that a physical, in-person dynamic can be successful without deliberate effort on both sides? It’s different effort, and for the Dominant, the sense of fulfillment is clearly different. So I’d say it’s a mindset.

I always crave physical connection, but I have had a number of bottoms and virtual subs over the past few years, and generally it’s worked out very well. Some have lasted weeks. Some months. A precious few… years. Sounds a lot like real life, does it not?

The real question isn’t whether there “Can be an ongoing online dynamic”. The real question is “Do I want that, and will it make me a better person; can I grow from it, and can I fulfill my partner’s needs and kinks virtually, and most importantly, what’s my end goal with ‘this’ dynamic… getting to know someone towards a physical Dynamic, or just a good match that feels right and will help me short term?”

There isn’t a wrong answer. It’s not wrong to get absolutely NOTHING from an online dynamic. It’s also not wrong to find it deeply satisfying in some important way. The wrong answer is pushing something that isn’t right for you, or avoiding something that could be amazing for you.

[Deleted Member]

My local area has no kink scene and I do not have the free time nor the funds to travel frequently, so I have learned to settle for online. I would hope that as a dynamic grows, an IRL meetup would become a possibility. It’s not ideal, but with the right partner it can be amazing.

[Deleted Member]

I find it hard to find potential partners nearby so my dynamic typically starts online. There is nothing wrong with something starting online first then moving in person if both people agree to it.

[Deleted Member]

Online play can be a lot of fun with someone who’s imaginative. I’ve had some great scenes where I didn’t even know what they looked like. But I know it’s not for everyone

[Deleted Member]

I stay away from online play and/or dynamics. For me personally, it seems pointless. Not yucking anyone’s yum—if that’s your thing, you do you, hun—but there has to be a significant level of trust for me to desire giving myself to someone else, and I just don’t trust people online. Ghosting culture is ridiculous and childish, yet it’s at an all time high. No one knows how to communicate anymore. Rather than tell someone they’re no longer feeling something, they simply delete and hit the block button. It’s hurtful and damaging, and makes it quite hard to let anyone in, let alone trust them.