Is BDSM a good idea for my relationship?

November 20, 2018

I’m definitely not an expert on BDSM, even from just watching 50 shades and doing some research. However, I think that BDSM could benefit my boyfriend and I’s relationship. We’ve been dating for a year and 3 months. He’s my first true love and our relationship is great. He took my first kiss, my virginity, you name it. He’s had a bad past with both relationships and family. He easily gets moody and can yell over the littlest things. He once admitted after sex that his ex girlfriend was so controlling in the relationship, that he isn’t used to having control in a relationship. I am not a controlling person at all, so I kind of let him have control in different aspects of our relationship. Some of the dates we go on, in the bedroom, etc. Although, if it’s something that I absolutely don’t wanna do, then he accepts that. I think that if BDSM was introduced into our relationship, it would benefit him. And me. I never fully came out and spoke about the topic with him. I’m too nervous he’ll find it weird. However, he spanked me before, called me naughty names, and ordered me around in the bedroom before and I actually really like it.. But anyway, do you think BDSM would benefit our relationship?? TIA ☺️

November 21, 2018

I don't think anyone could say if it would or not - but if you take there are things from it you already enjoy - you could raise you enjoy and would like to do more and also see if and where he is willing to take it further alongside both of your likes.

One thing about BDSM is it should improve communication with you both and that might help him get an increased feeling of control. But, it could be a long journey for you both and that can also be exciting.

November 21, 2018

It may or may not you are never going to know until you try, sit down talk about it define your limits and boundaries and see what happens

November 21, 2018

What is a good way to talk to him about BDSM? I don’t want him thinking I’m weird or something. I’m not sure if he knows what it is. Tried getting him to watch 50 shades but he only watched the first one. After that though, he did try ice play which was enjoyable for the both of us. I’m just really nervous that he’ll think I’m weird 😳

November 21, 2018

You could say the girls at work were talking about it, or you read an article , if you could let him think it was his idea that would be brilliant , maybe say something like , loved the ice play do you want to try more or something else ? Be warned though not all guys (or girls) can be Dom/Domme, so there might be some trial and error involved

November 22, 2018

I think if you feel you don't want to come out with the full package - just tell him you enjoyed stuff you've already done with him and would like to do it again

August 9, 2019

I find my most honest conversations with my husband is when we are driving and I feel more comfortable. I told him straightforward what I wanted. At first I wanted him to take control of everything which wasn't really realistic. He said he would try it but I just took him by surprise.

I told him how I felt about it and why I wanted to try it. To be honest we've had more honest conversations since I brought the subject up then we've ever had in the last 7 yrs we've been together.

BDSM is about honest communication .

So go somewhere with him that makes you comfortable and talk to him upfront about it