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*** and resulting fetishes - Am I normal?


De****

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Posted

I grew up in a very abusive household and my ***r was my father. Since this happened I have dealt with many fetishes. From anal play/enemas to bottoming for guys, pegging, etc. is it truly normal to have these random fetishes? Some are tied to my *** but a lot aren’t. I am currently 56 and this has gone on since I was young. I feel out of control sometimes and joined this site hoping for answers from others. Thoughts?

Posted
Well it depends. Many *** victims tend to cope with their *** by having a fetish for what happened to them but in a safe enviroment when they experience the *** but with love and care from the dom. Not all of them of course, but there are many cases like these.
When it comes to random fetishes, it's completely normal to try something you, broaden your horizons, expand your portfolio of kinks, trying to find what else turns you on. It just means you are open with your sexuality and are willing to experiement.
The only issue that may arise from this is if you started with something let's say more vanilla and gradually worked towards more hardcore and even dangerous kinks that could hurt you or your parter, when the lesser kinks wouldn't satisfy you anymore.
In that case I would advise visit a sexuologist and explore this side with them so you will be sure everything is being safe and healthy.
Posted
I think there are two strands to your post - the experiences in your youth and then what is "normal".
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To deal with the first of those, most of us can trace their sexuality and sexual desires back to experiences when we were young, both good and bad, many of them to a pre-sexual age - I know I can, and as Ellie04 said it can be almost a subconscious coping mechanism, almost embracing the thing as a way of sticking two fingers up at it and saying "you've not beaten me" when it was a bad experience. As an example my stepfather used to spank me over his knee with a wooden spoon when I was very young, often with minimal reason - now to this day wooden spoons are a hard limit for me, but receiving an OTK spanking is something I adore, and truly think it's my way of sticking two fingers up at him.
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As for "normal" - "normal" is such a weak word that is far too generalised, if it's "normal" for you, that's all that matters - everyone, and I mean everyone, has a kink to some degree, for some it will be as simple as doing it with the lights on, or someone doing a fairly mundane activity, for others it will be a lot more - it's just each of us finding our own very unique sexuality is all. The fact you explore these things just shows you are open to them, plain and simple.
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The only time I'd be concerned would be if you let those kinks consume you, or allowed them to be harmful to you in some way, such as they were triggering towards past experiences, if they don't then just embrace them as a part of you and who you are.
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