Dominatrix Tips?

[Deleted Member]

Hi, all! I'm very new to the community and was wondering if anyone had tips and tricks for beginning a dom/sub experience. My significant other has always wanted me to illicit more control and be dominant, and I'd love any advice to help get me started.

Alli

[ey****]

what interests them? that's a good starting point.

It's difficult to gain an answer for this because D/s relationships can be so so different and usually with little background or base ideas you just get people projecting their fantasies.

What could be good is for you both to attend a munch or fetish event and see how other people do things - you can work out from there what is or isn't for you.

Also is this "more control and Dominant" is this just in the bedroom every now and then, or a full on lifestyle ?  Just remember to try to separate fantasy ideologies from what works for you.

 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you so much for your response!

This would just be in the bedroom. We enjoy role play and that would most likely be something we incorporate into it. We're currently long distance and are trying to brainstorm what more we can do once we're together. I appreciate your suggestions and advice.

I was just hoping to get some information about where to start to find out about different aspects of d/s and hear from people who have been at the beginning stages, as everyone has been!

[ey****]

you're now marked as being a deleted member, but I'll leave a comment in case you come back or for the benefit of others.

Starting out can be really difficult when you know you want to do something but not sure what to do.

I hate to point people off site, but there are assorted BDSM questionnaires where both parties fill them in and then compare results of what both would like - unfortunately external links aren't permitted - but you can see an idea to google.  

another suggestion is of course to watch BDSM pornography - consider that a lot of it doesn't tell the whole story - but - if you see things that look fun to try, they can be a new avenue of research.

[MistressMettle]

Communication is key. I'd recommend getting a list of D/s activities for some ideas and both separately rating what you're keen to try, wouldn't mind and hard no's. Then you can start up some kinky exploring. Doing some research is also a good way to get familiar with terms, play activities and safety. There's loads of good resources. This site being one. There is a great book called BDSM for beginners by Morgan Thorne. It goes through everything from common terms and safety to planning a play scene.