to**** Posted November 5, 2022 Posted November 5, 2022 A little bit but not too much alcohol has always worked wonders
Li**** Posted November 5, 2022 Posted November 5, 2022 The opposite way round depending on the situation. I come across better in reality (imo) than text as I don't like how impersonal and hard to read mood wise a text is. Videocalls/voice notes send my anxiety through the roof but the only times I can flirt in reality is if it's someone I've spoke to and already planned to meet for a date. I'd fine it incredibly hard to approach a random man and let him know I like the look of him!😂🤦🏽♀️
ca**** Posted November 5, 2022 Posted November 5, 2022 I have lived with ! / been affected by anxieties for much of my life ...... and much of it not really knowing it, being aware of it or understanding it ..... ie not having coping strategies to deal with it (in general)......... Thru a journey of counselling and gleaning form others experience of it, I am much more aware of it now and able to deal with it / cope with it / accept it in many instances and yet I know it still affects my life (inhibits me) to some degrees.... One big thing I realise / discovered is that 'anxiety' affects people in many ways..... so no one fits all type answer . I also discovered that my anxieties and the affect they had on me, was fairly mild compared to many others... Breathing strategies helped me, deep breaths, breathing from the diaphragm (like a baby breathes) ..... works as a calming influence and sends metaphysical messages to the brain that all is 'safe'. For me it was my awareness of the anxieties that helped over time.... and it was a period of years... The other things (mind change) that worked for me was that I got to the point where I could tell myself / let myself 'accept' that it was OK to feel a bit stresses /anxious / awkward / uncomfortable.. As the OP mentioned online interactions and communication was good for me in the first instances as it allowed me to experiment / try .. in that I found I could express myself emotionally much easier than I had ever been able to do so before (which was pretty much never)....... Bizarrely in a one to one situation (once the ice was broken) I always found myself able to cope with most things pretty well - maybe apart from the expressing or giving of myself emotionally .... or maybe I juts did it in my own individual style...... Realise that's a ramble but hopefully some bits to be picked from it.... happy to discuss this kinda subject if anyone feels that need. Keep well ;
Hu**** Posted November 6, 2022 Posted November 6, 2022 I agree with you! I find I have so much confidence over the phone and then getting to the first initial meet in person always makes me incredibly nervous 😩 suddenly I don’t know what to talk about or how to act 🤦♀️
le**** Posted November 6, 2022 Posted November 6, 2022 I have the exact same issue, I can talk all I want and flirt online. But when a meeting time is set, I just freeze up.
Deleted Member Posted December 1, 2022 Posted December 1, 2022 When I meet someone for the first time, I contemplate the things I could bring to a conversation. I fill out a Google Doc listing said topics, and I review them prior to the date. Essentially, I treat the IRL date like a job interview, and I prepare as best as I can. If I’m still shy and nervous, I try to play it off in a charming way, like glancing at my feet, smirking, or just apologizing for my nervousness. Chances are, they’re nervous too. As I get to know people in person, I become more and more comfortable with them, and free to show them who I really am. This has been my experience, and I hope this gives a rubric for how the socially anxious can make the best of a first meeting.
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