A thought on cybersex

[ChefNocturne]

A thought on cybersex.

I often read in many profiles people that are explicitly not seeking cybersex with anyone. While I understand that for many if not most of us here the goal is to actually meet like minded partners and experience the pleasure (or ***).
With that said I think it's limiting to exclude or dismiss something that can be as enjoyable as cybersex. For people still getting to know each other it's a fun and quick litmus test to see who can hold a stimulating conversation, and for those at any level of commitment or longevity it is an exciting way to spice up otherwise mundane workdays, made all the easier with texts and other social apps. The excitement needn't be sharing pictures either, though an illustration can help a story. Rather, one only needs a decent grasp of their language and an imagination to spice up someone's afternoon. It's exciting to catch yourself daydreaming about the fantasy scenario unfolding in your text box while trying to go about the work day, stealing ***ks at the phone. Ideally you eventually get together with that person and flesh out that story, that night if possible, but until or if that time comes, cybersex is a fun and exciting way to keep each others juices flowing.

[ey****]

I think in a lot of cases - those who are explicit in stating they don't want it - have tried it to whatever degree

the kinda problem largely is it's not *everyone's* goal to meet up (regardless what their profile say) and so for some a bit cyber role play and a wank every now and then will do them

so it ends with one person hoping it'll end in a meet, and the other stringing them along. 

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheep. Well said. I agree 👍 💯

[DeviantInside]

I can only speak for myself. I have been on various kink related dating and online sites for 25+ years. When I started cyber was exciting, particularly when I didn’t anywhere like as much real life experience and that real life wasn’t always so much of an option. I enjoyed it, even like to think I was halfway good at it, though obviously that may be entirely my deluded ego. However, over the years where I’ve been incredibly lucky to explore so much I have found it just doesn’t scratch an itch for me (particularly when it became apparent that most people I’d cyber with would respond with a “oh yeah”, or “mmmm, more”). It grew quite tedious. So I’m not against cyber per se, but when my goal is for something real if it’s just cyber without the possibility of turning into something more then it just doesn’t do anything for me. I need a connection with someone and my personal experience is that connection is far greater in person that by text, or phone or even cam. I have no problem building up to and working towards things (hell I’ve even had relationships across continents), but there has always been the end goal of it being in person.

As I say I am only speaking for me. I wouldn’t denigrate someone for only wanting online or cyber, I wish them all the best but we’re not going to be compatible. Everyone is different and what they are looking for and works for them are entirely their prerogative.

[CopperKnob]

So I'm guessing that you like cybersex, great.
Some people don't, again that's great.
Some people may have indicated that that's not what they're looking for on their profiles, also great.
They haven't intentionally excluded or dismissed you or anyone else. What they've done is identify what they are and aren't into/looking for. Just like we all do with any type of kink.
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Go through your post and each time the word cybersex appears, change it to CNC, knife play or any other type of edge play, use one you don't enjoy/have any interest in and see how your post reads

[na****]

Oh this is a fairly simple one. You’re not describing cybersex to be fair.

You either want a sexual contact in a dynamic or not. The BS keyboard warrior rhetoric is exactly that.

Mostly it’s those that don’t.

[ge****]

CK sums it up perfectly - whilst cybersex can indeed be exciting and fun and between the right two people quite intense, it's not for everyone in the same way as any other activity isn't for everyone.
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Add to that that some people just aren't great at that kind of creative writing or don't find it a turn on.
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Then of course you have the thing of by listing cybersex as an interest, especially for women, you're practically inviting countless messages describing what someone is "going to do to you".
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I indulge in it from time to time, but when I do it usually happens naturally and organically as part of the flow of conversation and with someone I have already established a connection with that is on the same wavelength as me.
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Good cybersex is like a game of chess where each person instinctively anticipates the next move, but it takes two aligned people for that to happen naturally, or it either becomes very one sided, or tedious.
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Back in the days when I used to inhabit chat rooms and indulge in it more the times I'd get "Insert figure A in figure B" type responses far outweighed the times where things just flowed and I'd soon find myself quite the opposite of being turned on.

[na****]

23 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think in a lot of cases - those who are explicit in stating they don't want it - have tried it to whatever degree

the kinda problem largely is it's not *everyone's* goal to meet up (regardless what their profile say) and so for some a bit cyber role play and a wank every now and then will do them

so it ends with one person hoping it'll end in a meet, and the other stringing them along. 

Surprisingly enough this is what I was alluding to.

Some don’t want to be wanked over throughout their “creative writing!”

Some don’t want to be led along throughout their time on here. Some just want what that ask for.

If I want a pen pal I would look elsewhere.

I don’t have time for creative writing to be fair…🤣

[na****]

In fairness yes some write some great stories 😔

[PrimalArtist]

I hesitated putting that on my profile because I'm actually interested in that, but for me I come from a background of role-playing on actual role-playing sites. You can kind of think of it like dungeons and dragons but online and with fursonas.


I'd be interested in "RPing", which does sometimes turn into the players behind the characters role-playing rather than the characters themselves. But I always got the feeling that the term "cybersex" Is a bit raunchier and not as much about a story or the writing itself. Hence, my hesitation to actually put that on my profile and give the wrong idea to someone.

[Deleted Member]

Tricky topic. Not all people are here for a physical relationship/encounter. Anonymity is a must for some. The need for physical touch does arise when having cyber for a while, but some just can’t meet for various reasons. Sometimes fantasy is a way to scratch the itch.