Deleted Member Posted December 8, 2023 Posted December 8, 2023 I had a crisis after I got ill and just went off sex completely because of ***. Am a widow now and happy (sexually speaking) on my own. Miss my wife like crazy still, but find talking helps. Just thought I’d put my experience out there.
Do**** Posted December 11, 2023 Author Posted December 11, 2023 Thanks for sharing- I hope that makes you feel better 😘
eR**** Posted December 13, 2023 Posted December 13, 2023 You might be surprised how she will react. Start with the biggest sex organ (no not that one) the brain. If my ex would of been introduced it as his wife i would have loved it.
YorkshireBiker Posted January 6 Posted January 6 I’m in a similar position but I don’t even fully understand what I want let alone how to communicate that with my partner of 24 years.
Do**** Posted January 7 Author Posted January 7 Wow, yes communication is the key and it gets so much harder after 20+ years. Suggest that you start with a one on one session with a professional sex therapist to work out what you really want and then have the tough conversation with your partner under professional guidance- definitely worked for us 😀
ca**** Posted February 5 Posted February 5 I'd say consider some kind of counselling - just as a 'mutual' way to get into the subject... and be prepared to give it time... And also be prepared that it wont give you the answer but hopefully might make you (and your partner) more aware of the questions
Deleted Member Posted February 8 Posted February 8 i think it's normal to seek new ways of interacting with our long term partners, just like we seek new ways to interact with the world by; having career changes, buying something we'd always been "too sensible" to buy previously or, moving to a new country etc. we want to show ourselves and others we are capable of change and that there is more to us than we previously recognized/acknowledged. these changes allow us to learn more about ourselves because we are out of our routine and more ***. this is true throughout life to an extent but most pronounced midlife when we start question routine and wonder if the next 20 years will look much like the last. in my experience there are certain things that, if I don't discuss with my partner, will just chew me up inside and I'll start to feel like I'm not seen or showing up as myself and start to feel depressed. I struggle to talk to partner about sex related topics even though we have been together 12 years. I do find though, no matter how awkward and uncomfortable some conversations can be it feels good to show myself and allow my partner to accept me as i am.
Do**** Posted February 8 Author Posted February 8 Nicely said. 100 percent agree. The talking to your partner after so many years is the hardest thing. And it’s the only way forward 😘
CuriouslyShi9344 Posted March 13 Posted March 13 It's not just men that have this. I have ben married 17 years and I am finding I have these desires/fantasies that I want to come to life.
Do**** Posted March 13 Author Posted March 13 Glad to hear that women have these issues as well and hope you’re on track in working through them 😘
ju**** Posted March 15 Posted March 15 In my opinion based on my experience, men generally underestimate women when it comes to sex. Be honest, she might surprise you.
Su**** Posted March 17 Posted March 17 Friday at 04:00 PM, jujudred said: In my opinion based on my experience, men generally underestimate women when it comes to sex. Be honest, she might surprise you. Women’s intuition is always close to reality. And, we all know that an honest discussion to express deep seated concerns clears the air.. lots of comments here support the benefit of open discussion .. and yes, when both are on the same page the relationship becomes that bond we all desire .. Tell her what you need and feel
YorkshireBiker Posted March 17 Posted March 17 It can be hard to be honest, it’s not always an easy conversation to bring up, especially after you’ve been together for years and always hidden that part of yourself away.
Do**** Posted March 18 Author Posted March 18 Yes, I took me about 25 years to start this conversation. That’s the hardest part. But then very rewarding from there 😘
YorkshireBiker Posted March 18 Posted March 18 We’re definitely making progress but I’m still self conscious about it all and have to overcome my anxiety.
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