Looking for a one night stand but never done one

[Deleted Member]

Male late 20s

So ive never done a one night stand always done relationships right now im kind of just looking for some fun but I dont know how to do this kind of conversation

Do I just be blunt? Find someone hot say hey sexy you intrested in f***n sometime?
^half sarcasim

Any advice?

[ge****]

Ask yourself why you want a one night stand? Just because you've never done one, so to put a tick in a box? Or because you're not wanting a relationship right now, but are looking for sexual pleasure? Or some other reason?
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Whatever the answer, being blunt is not the way to go either on sites like this or in person, in fact the methods are much the same as for *any* relationship - they may be compacted and less drawn out, but it's still about establishing a connection and chemistry on some level, and things progressing from there.
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It's about trust and respect too - though arguably if you're thinking of heading to the local meat market of a nightclub "on the pull" connection, chemistry, trust and respect go out the window in some respects.
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If you're purely looking for NSA encounters without any of the trappings of a "normal" relationship then I'd suggest perhaps a swingers site or some of the dating sites where that kind of thing can be found (though you'd need to make it clear you were looking for NSA) or going to local bars/clubs where you might meet people, but as I said all the traditional values should still be maintained being blunt really will get you nowhere.

[Cheekysub247]

I wouldn't go down the blunt route lol,
Explain in your profile like you have here, even though you want a one night stand, most people would still like to probably get to know you.
If you want complete stranger sex no nothing then a bar/club is probably your better option.

[ey****]

so the worst thing to do is be blunt or rush to seal a deal because - while the other person is potentially interested in a ONS they still most likely want to feel a bit more than a means to an end.

a lot of things which are ONS just kinda happen that way - but if you specifically wanted to make a ONS happen : here's some bits

1) Go to a bar or a nightclub - and if there is someone you find attractive talk to them.   Usually with a drink is a good ice breaker (it's funny - all the guys who find the idea of paying someone online just to talk to them, but that paying much more for a couple of drinks in the hope it goes somewhere, hey ho) but if she is not interested, do not persist - and if she (or you) are potentially a little too drunk, don't persist.

Also if the talk of some form of hook-up occurs, don't over-promise - make it clear you're only interested in a one night thing and while that will be a dealbreaker for some, there are others for whom it might be a bit better for.

2) If trying online - go to a site more geared to casual hook ups - Adult Friend Finder, Tindr, Fabswingers, etc. while people aren't a hive mind, you are more likely to encounter people interested in a one-off on there, as opposed to sites like this 

in some cases (like, you're in a bar right now) then things happening that day/night might occur - but in other cases there might be at least some form of expectation of some form of date or other.   Don't take anything for granted and again be honest you're only looking for something casual.

Even under casual, there's a lot of women who do maintain standards and keep their own safety in mind.  So a no should be respected at any point in the chain - and that just because someone is clearly open to casual and ONS arrangements doesn't mean they want to *with you*

there is a little less time to get invested into each other so yeah this might be a little more "do I find this person attractive" / "will I regret this"

one big problem

women tend to get less out of ONS than men do.  Which often means fewer are even interested.  There is a big chance you will do it and think it was great, but it wasn't for her - she just got bored, made a few noises and got you off so you'd stop / fuck off 

So, as kinda last bits

3) The best way to have a ONS happen is not to try for it

Just live your life. Go places you want to go and don't put pressure on yourself or pushy with others.  It's inevitable at some point you will talk to someone in a bar/club or online which then leads to sex, that just happens to be the only time you have sex.

If you start going to bars you wouldn't normally go to in order to get laid, or sign up to hook up apps and spam people - it's... a lot of pressure and cost on your time.

[Deleted Member]

I couldve worded this post alot alot better tbh, but it was supposed to be anonymous, so id appriciate it if you all just let it die, thanks for your feedback however

[FETMOD-KF]

locked per request above