Heavy topic: Loneliness

[Th****]

10 minutes ago, Sammy9469 said:

Oh I feel you on the health issues. Type 1 Diabetic here since I was 8. I have an insulin pump and a CGM device, both I wear on my abdomen. I have other chronic health issues as well. I am legally declared as disabled from a work place *** where I damaged several areas of my spine. I live with chronic *** as a result, and will likely have to have further surgeries on my spine when the time comes (two different fusions on my cervical spine and one procedure on my Lumbar spine so far). Some people can't handle health issues. F*** them. I have met a few other Kinky Diabetics in the last few years. We exist. 

Yes we do. I'm type 1 as well. Lost a toe last year and have some complications. I do ok but I can't work anymore. I just started collecting social security, and as a result a lot of people think I'm looking for someone to take care of me. While this is absolutely not the case, it can be hard to convince people.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Th4tFl0w3rL4dy said:

Yes we do. I'm type 1 as well. Lost a toe last year and have some complications. I do ok but I can't work anymore. I just started collecting social security, and as a result a lot of people think I'm looking for someone to take care of me. While this is absolutely not the case, it can be hard to convince people.

One of the reasons my marriage ended is because my ex didn't and adamantly wouldn't understand my health issues. I've been on Disability since 2013. Marriage ended in 2017. It was a pretty toxic environment. We have a daughter together and have shared custody of our kid. That's the best part of that relationship with my ex. Anyways, finding understanding people isn't easy. Feel free to message me any time. 

[Sl****]

I relate a lot… I feel like the things I’m asking for is not much if my circumstances were different but I am led to believe that I’m asking for loads and it’s.. it’s impossible to find what we deeply desire

[so****]

I understand completely. I'm almost 37, never been married & no kids either. I'm also an only child, so no siblings either & both my parents are dead. I am literally all alone. All I've ever wanted was a good woman I could give my heart to & a family of my own. But every time I meet a good woman & we hit it off, my desperation for love & attention always smothers her & she leaves. I am so alone. All I want is to love & be loved. The best I can do is have short term submissives. But they just want kink, nothing too serious. They also leave as soon as I try to get serious. I am so ***fully alone. I fully understand exactly what you mean. This is a very serious topic that needs more attention. There are SO many people like this. But nobody ever talks about it. Thank you for bringing this up.

[Deleted Member]

Lonely all the time. Feel like no one wants me. Also sucks i have no family just me so I understand completely

[ri****]

Same. I experience the heavy cloud of lonliness. So no, your certainly are not on the island by yourself.

[Ki****]

Words well said!!!

[Deleted Member]

I can assure you that you are not alone. I think somewhat as a culture we feel isolated and lonely.

I will try to add what I have learnt in my life and my experience with loneliness. I understand that everyone is expert in their own lives so this may or may not help.
What I have found that loneliness often creeps in my life when I am not well connected with myself. I sometimes need to spend time alone and check in with myself and then re-enter the world.
Having a partner definitely helps, but often feeling connected with a friend, a sibling, even a stranger helps. I am trying not to put all my eggs in the partner basket, so that I always have eggs to bake the cake and eat too. 😉

I am sharing a podcast on loneliness I listened to and really liked it. Maybe this will speak to you too.

https://youtu.be/jYboghgd3Ps

[Deleted Member]

Thank you very much for opening up to us. This is so cliche, but I am a firm believer if it's meant to be, it will happen. Seen the impossibles. I would like a special person, but I remind myself, there are other things I should be grateful. This thinking kills my loneliness. At this moment, I think about how grateful I am to be alive, having a roof over my head, electricty and running water. There are so many families that have to think about feeding their family, or be hungary to have electricty. People living in cars, or other people's home, because they can't afford rent. Or the abandoned ***s living on the streets hungary and sick... no one to love them. Thinking of these things makes realize how lucky I am. Forget loneliness, I rather have running hot water.

[Nahian-5942]

I'm kind of a man here and I feel like a lot of ladies shut down the thought of a coffee shop date idea down before it even comes up. It does feel lonely. It's easier to just not expect anything until there is the 2nd or third date. That's my experience at least. I don't expect people to even respond to my opening messages anymore. I don't expect them to respond a second time. I don't expect them to want a date with me. I don't expect them to go on any more dates than just one either. Online dating is just total destruction, and it's going to continue to get worse.

[Chastity_Pup_Gabbia]

I can see exactly where you are coming from. I’ve had similar experiences in not only the kink world but also in the vanilla world too.
I have felt lonely even when I’ve been out with friends, seeing others enjoying themselves in their fetish lives while I can’t even get anyone to share mine with.
Some, not all women, I feel, just like men, have standards that the majority of us cannot reach. And as you rightly said once they view you, if they don’t like you it’s getting ghosted. This then makes you question yourself.
I can say I do have friends within the kink community who have helped me a lot but i do have moments of doubt and thoughts of packing it all in.
I’ve been told though not to put too much pressure on myself and to keep going to munches/events and hopefully, something will happen. But don’t try too hard.
I’ve also found out that online hook ups is not the best way, as there are a number of fakes or people only out for a quick jump.
But to end on a high note. Keep positive, find local munches or events. Meet groups of kinksters and you maybe feel better. I know it’s worked for me.

[Ch****]

When i first come here i thought it would be easier to find someone because it was full of like minded accepting people. Wrong! Its as bad if not worse as other non kink sites for how people treat each other on here. Ghosting is a huge problem, i had this the other week, i find nobody has just the common decentcy to say "no thank you" anymore, and its just easy to blank and forget. Even if you have been exchanging messages for a few days with no signs of the other person showing that they aren't interested. Let alone getting to the point of meeting anyone, its never getting that far! Ive given up looking for anyone. This place is just another Fb to me now, i don't seek anymore its rare i go looking at others profiles because its a waste of time. Ive learned to live alone and have no commitments or dependents and happy to stay this way. This sounds selfish of me but these places do that to you after a while. Social media has broken people thats the problem

[Th****]

Yesterday at 09:29 AM, Chiana said:

When i first come here i thought it would be easier to find someone because it was full of like minded accepting people. Wrong! Its as bad if not worse as other non kink sites for how people treat each other on here. Ghosting is a huge problem, i had this the other week, i find nobody has just the common decentcy to say "no thank you" anymore, and its just easy to blank and forget. Even if you have been exchanging messages for a few days with no signs of the other person showing that they aren't interested. Let alone getting to the point of meeting anyone, its never getting that far! Ive given up looking for anyone. This place is just another Fb to me now, i don't seek anymore its rare i go looking at others profiles because its a waste of time. Ive learned to live alone and have no commitments or dependents and happy to stay this way. This sounds selfish of me but these places do that to you after a while. Social media has broken people thats the problem

What is find most frustrating I think is when you do say "no thank you" people get disrespectful. The biggest reason I find myself being so horribly lonely is because I'm just so tired of being disrespected and treated like garbage. I will cut someone off at the very first whiff of it. I've been told my standards are too high. No the f*ck they aren't! It makes you feel like a complete stranger thinks they know More about what you want than you do. I just want what I know I deserve

[Kelly-3091]

Yes it was depressing

[Invisible71]

I relate to the OP on this hugely.....and it dosent have to be about kink eithsr. 

 

I am in a marriage where we havent had intercourse in 4 years and before that for about another 2 or 3 years it had gradually reduced. 

Once in a quadruple blue moon there may be a little bit of physical interaction but its not enough for me. 

 

I came to this site to look for somebody to connect with and as crazy as this might sound (and contradictory to my personal situation), it wasnt and still isn't about intercourse for me, it was about other mental and physical experinces. 

To build trust, to build understanding, for that connection to develop and then feel the heart start to race as hopefully I/we could try new experiences. 

 

But this is not what many many many ladies want from here.

So I find myself feeling lonely in real life and on here and some days it becomes all consuming and I just want to find a a quiet corner and sit in it away from the world. 

 

 

Loneliness is a fact if life, even when surrounded by people in real life or somewhere like this. 

It's hard, so very hard, but if you are truely free in real life to pursue your true desires somewhere like here, then do becuase at some point we should all hopefully get that lucky break and find the company we hope for. 

 

[MrJim]

It’s very hard to broach the subject of kink because of the bad rap it gets from Hollywood and tv, but giving into your kink is very the***utic. So keep trying and never give up .