Deleted Member Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 So I'm new to this I'm a dom by nature but a caregiver, but I'm finding it hard to either connect with people or match with them Any advice as I want to give it a go ?
Zela Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 I hear you, I have the same problem. The algorithm on this app is bonkers. Simply join groups, discussions and explore profiles that meet your criteria. Engage engage engage and with time, you should start making connections.
FlippdSwitch Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 You are cute as hell. If you choose to change your preference to men, keep me in mind.
DeviantInside Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 Ok so I’m obviously not your target audience for either role or gender. So take anything I say for whatever you feel it’s worth. But your profile is bare bones, and what it does say seems to say “wanna give this a try” rather than anything about what you can offer or much about yourself or that you’re committed to the kink scene. May as well put, “anyone up for some fun?” If that’s what you want fine but if you want something more serious then you should probably put more about yourself. Great that you put you’re new to the scene, absolutely nothing wrong with that and honesty is a great start to anything, however it also doesn’t really give much credence to you saying you’re a Dom by nature and a caregiver, why should anyone take you at your word or that you know what those terms entail (which isn’t saying that you don’t or aren’t, of course). Generally I feel people on kink sites are interested in more than just a pretty picture. I have no idea what your approach is like when it comes to contacting people but making it personalised to the person is generally a good start. Obviously it helps if you’re creative, witty, charming and erudite… but regardless being honest and yourself lets people see who you are and then any matches are more likely to be worthwhile. Outside of that if you really want to learn and get involved, engage in the chats and forums, read up about everything (it’ll help reduce the fuck ups you make when exploring things… there will be some but the more you can limit them in number and scope the better), look for local munches and groups. Maybe even look for a mentor. As I say all of that is up to you and fairly generalised but hope it helps.
DeviantInside Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 And apologies for the steam of consciousness… half 3 am so brain only partially functioning.
ge**** Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 Echo everything @DeviantInside has said - would add you've been here 10 days which is no time at all on sites like this, obviously don't know where else you've looked or for how long, but specifically thinking about your time on this site, you need time and patience to make those connections along with a well written profile, and correctly set expectations and finding an approach that works. . Your profile is your shop window, so use it that way, tell people about your interests, experience etc - pique their interest - right now you do none of that. . Get involved in the forums and chat rooms here, they're both ways of getting involved in the site, making connections and learning. . Outside of the site consider getting along to events and munches and reading as much as you can to further your knowledge. . In a nutshell it's entirely feasible to find what you're looking for, but achieving that is down to you putting an effort in.
FlippdSwitch Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 Okay, so this is embarrassing. I commented on the wrong account. 😂
ma**** Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 So a few suggestions you might want to use: •Dom is always written with a capital word. •Write info on your profile. •Research vetting, negotiations, limits. •This app or any other BDSM related apps/sites are not hook ups places (there was someone who messaged me telling me that this site is a sex app; it is not). •Treat others as human beings first. Do not expect them to be willing to play with you. Many want more than just fun. •Learn the differences between a Dom and just a kinkster. Just because someone is kinky, it doesn't make them Dominant. A Dominant has great responsibility... being a Dom is definitely not for everyone. •Be honest with you and others in regards to what you want: do you want a D/s dynamic or a T/b one? Do you want living together? Do you want just some kink playing? If you don't know, then let others to move on. Don't create damage. •Communicate, communicate and communicate. •Be compassionate, considerate, respectful, empathetic.
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