Just figured out I'm poly...

[dr****]

Ask him if he’s cool with YOU having a girlfriends and he can join in when he’d like.
To give you the time and attention your craving with our cheating and he gets to join in when he has the energy!

[ey****]

1 hour ago, drjesse said:

Ask him if he’s cool with YOU having a girlfriends and he can join in when he’d like.

like a few comments this negates that any other hypothetical partners might not wish to be in a triad, or be a unicorn, or someone to pump up someone else's sex life

it also ignores their potential consent that they agreed to be her partner, not that of a guy they never met.

 

[Deleted Member]

communication is key. go through boundaries

[TK****]

I think it’s important to be honest with a person you clearly love. And to support them. It sounds like you have a strong relationship that can grow even stronger with open and honest communication.

[TK****]

(Basically what most people on here seem to think)

[ja****]

I know several in the same situation and those who ended it in pursue of their desires, regretted it deeply. Be patient with him and keep encouraging him to try it. He will come around. If you past that point and still get nowhere, cheat, but don’t end what you have. It’s not a bad thing. I encourage it over the alternative :)

[pl****]

Exactly how you just said. Honesty

[ge****]

16 hours ago, jawadelomari said:

I know several in the same situation and those who ended it in pursue of their desires, regretted it deeply. Be patient with him and keep encouraging him to try it. He will come around. If you past that point and still get nowhere, cheat, but don’t end what you have. It’s not a bad thing. I encourage it over the alternative :)

Whilst I agree with everything you said at the start, I couldn't disagree more with the suggestion to cheat if the OP gets nowhere having tried discussing it and being patient etc.
.
Whilst I accept that, for some, cheating may be an option, and sometimes for valid reasons, the risk of regret, causing and experiencing upset and worse is high.
.
If the OP has tried discussing it etc and got nowhere then she has basically two options, accept that her partner isn't interested in pursuing a poly arrangement, or decide her desire for one is too great and leave the relationship behind. Yes cheating would be a third option, but is likely to be the one to cause the most *** ultimately.

[Cr****]

What about watching a few movies featuring polyamory, just to broach the subject…

[ja****]

You can also talk to poly couples and introduce him to them.

[Sy****]

If you are finding you barely have time to talk already, this may be not the best time to open up your relationship unfortunately. It takes time, and there is no guarantee, because polyam is a relationship style not everyone feels comfortable with. It is possible for a monogamous person and a polyamorous person to be together, as long as everything is communicated. I wish you luck, you will need it. And you will need patience and gentleness both directions, and assume the best of each other every step of the way. Listen to each of your insecurities and ***s, hold each other through it.

[Deleted Member]

I'm an ENM polyamorist and that's something I've only recently learnt about myself as well 😊

[Deleted Member]

My ex wife learned she was poly and decided she no longer wanted a relationship with me after ten years so that she could pursue the person she actually wanted so understand that while you may gain something from the poly lifestyle you may be giving up what you have

[Deleted Member]

Interesting, I’m new to the ENM thing since I came out as Bi..and while it explained a lot for me..it leaves them wanting. I’d establish a really respectful dialogue about ur needs…as if it we’re friends or getting a massage. Make it really per functionary or pragmatic. Yeah?

[Deleted Member]

Honestly, finding a new job is hard. But if it comes to the point that you feel like you need others to fulfill your desires, that man needs to quit his job to look for it else where. Your marital sex life is sacred, you and your kids need to be put first :/

[Deleted Member]

It didn’t go well with my ex.

[st****]

Try to get him to come up with the idea then he might feel a lil guilty but not like you described

[Bi****]

Most men are insecure about letting their female partner experience her sexual desires with other men and women. I love watching….my biggest turn on.

[cl****]

I feel this super hard for pretty much the same reasons. I've already brought it up and it was shot down.

[Si****]

Hey, so... As a guy who felt the inadequacy that can came from a similar conversation coming up, I think the best start to the conversation is just asking about the fantasy from his end in a context where you two are enjoying yourselves. This is an example, Do you like the idea of him being possessive (in a safe way)? If so, let him know it turns you on to think of him expressing that jealousy of you, that him being that devoted to you, and having the opportunity to show passion about it really fires you up because you want him too.

If you're down with him being with other girls, especially with you, that can be another way into it. Pharump Nevada is a great safe place to test that out. I'm a big advocate of being honest the whole way, and it sounds like you can be honest and say that this isn't about you not loving him, but may even be an expression of love, not wanting him to feel overwhelmed by your sexual needs.

[Jeromiah]

You're so lucky, you get a loving partner who will do anything for you and you don't have to have sex with him? That's the dream girl! I wish I could find even one partner, let alone multiple!

[ca****]

I recently discovered the same, and thought my partner of 11 years would absolutely never be on board 🙈 I’ve now been with my girlfriend almost a month, and she will be flying out to see me in a few weeks, and my husband is pursuing a LDR as well with a gorgeous woman from London. We all get along so well, have group chats and everything, it’s been interesting!