New Messaging System

[Erebus]

2 minutes ago, purplepie said:

Yes, that is correct. In the past, we have received many comments of (mainly) female users, who were complaining about unwanted photos, especially dickpics. We want to make sure everything is consensual to guarantee the safety of all. To avoid such non-consensual behavior, we decided that men with basic memberships are not able to send photos. When they upgrade their plan, it shows that they are committed to our community and will use this function responsibly. Since then our community has been much more healthy and many people have acknowledged this change. 

I am aware of the issue that you have mentioned, but to ***t all men with the same brush isn't exactly fair and to not put too fine a point on it is sexist, I am all for removing something if it is done on equal terms i.e. both men and women members losing the right to send pictures but to target just one side of a sex with action is being unjust to those who do follow the rules and do ask for consent.

My point is this that once we are talking to another site user both sending and receiving messages from them can the ban on sending pictures not be lifted? Because the alternative for us now is we end up leaving the site and using alternative media to correspond and send the picture’s we want to send. I am all for site safety god knows I’ve been promoting it for long enough but the actions of only totally banning all males from sending pictures is as I stated sexist and if the roles were reversed then there would be uproar!

[purplepie]

For all those of you who've commented that your messages are only partly visible/have disappeared/are displayed broken, are you using the most recent version of the app? Or are you referring to the website?

[purplepie]

38 minutes ago, Erebus said:

I am aware of the issue that you have mentioned, but to ***t all men with the same brush isn't exactly fair and to not put too fine a point on it is sexist, I am all for removing something if it is done on equal terms i.e. both men and women members losing the right to send pictures but to target just one side of a sex with action is being unjust to those who do follow the rules and do ask for consent.

My point is this that once we are talking to another site user both sending and receiving messages from them can the ban on sending pictures not be lifted? Because the alternative for us now is we end up leaving the site and using alternative media to correspond and send the picture’s we want to send. I am all for site safety god knows I’ve been promoting it for long enough but the actions of only totally banning all males from sending pictures is as I stated sexist and if the roles were reversed then there would be uproar!

I totally agree with you that this is not the ultimate solution. We are having a meeting with the development team next Monday, and I will raise this issue. Now with the new update, images including adult content are blurred out and people have to undergo an age-check to access them. This feature could maybe also be applied to non-paying male members. But this is not something I can decide on my own. 

On a side note: I've only recently joined the company so I'm being fully transparent and telling this community that I don't have all the answers yet. Of course, I get that this is not what you want to hear. You want solutions, bugs fixed immediately, and so do I. But I'm clearly stating what I have control over and what not. 

I gathered confirmation that the most pressing issues are already being worked on currently. All other suggestions and issues will be worked on in the next sprint planning meeting. Maybe this eases the frustration a bit?

 

 

 

 

[Erebus]

48 minutes ago, purplepie said:

On a side note: I've only recently joined the company so I'm being fully transparent and telling this community that I don't have all the answers yet. Of course, I get that this is not what you want to hear. You want solutions, bugs fixed immediately, and so do I. But I'm clearly stating what I have control over and what not.

 

 

 

Actually It's quite refressing that you are talking to us and not talking down to us as has happened previously with other members of staff.

[Le****]

Not sure what they have done with the messaging system but it’s completely F’ed. I keep getting these “ I\u2019m” replacing some of my texts so my messages make no sense. Also, I will get notification of a new message, but when I open my messages, there is no new message. I have to restart the app in order to see the new message. Can we go back lol

[CopperKnob]

5 hours ago, purplepie said:

I totally agree with you that this is not the ultimate solution. We are having a meeting with the development team next Monday, and I will raise this issue. Now with the new update, images including adult content are blurred out and people have to undergo an age-check to access them. This feature could maybe also be applied to non-paying male members. But this is not something I can decide on my own. 

On a side note: I've only recently joined the company so I'm being fully transparent and telling this community that I don't have all the answers yet. Of course, I get that this is not what you want to hear. You want solutions, bugs fixed immediately, and so do I. But I'm clearly stating what I have control over and what not. 

I gathered confirmation that the most pressing issues are already being worked on currently. All other suggestions and issues will be worked on in the next sprint planning meeting. Maybe this eases the frustration a bit?

 

 

 

 

Could it be that the filter can be changed on what messages we receive so that it allows each individual to decide whether they accept picture messages being sent to them by others? Is that feasible?. If so, you could then consider whether to remove that facility being available to only the males who have paid memberships. Everythings reviewable so after a few months, if there are issues, it could revert back to the current way of things but, to be fair, I've received inappropriate pictures from males in their first message, I'm not of the view that being a paid member shows any commitment to acting in a respectful way to other members here. It's more about disposable income and TBF, more of us have less than we did 6mths ago.

[Ar****]

7 hours ago, purplepie said:

Yes, that is correct. In the past, we have received many comments of (mainly) female users, who were complaining about unwanted photos, especially dickpics. We want to make sure everything is consensual to guarantee the safety of all. To avoid such non-consensual behavior, we decided that men with basic memberships are not able to send photos. When they upgrade their plan, it shows that they are committed to our community and will use this function responsibly. Since then our community has been much more healthy and many people have acknowledged this change. 

I would have thought this to be flawed logic; often the kinds of asshats who will send such images are the types who won't think twice about paying for an upgrade. It ties in to the entitlement mindset, amongst other things.

On the flipside I know of many a decent and respectful chap I've encountered over my 3-4 years here who regularly contribute to the community and wouldn't dream of pulling that kind of stunt. I've never paid for an upgrade, nor have I with any kind of community/social media/dating app - doing so just isn't for me, and here if I really want I can spend some of my points for a temp membership boost*. I'd hope I'm safe though, and it does provide an obstacle to connecting though when some women you talk to don't even know/believe that the rules for men are different, especially when all you're trying to do is show them a picture of your bookshelves that they've asked to see 😂 It kind-of kills that train of conversation or pushes both of you to move to another platform, which isn't an inherently safe move.

But if you insist that the community is genuinely healthier for the change then I'll trust and support you. Safety of the wider community has to come before minor inconveniences 🤷‍♂️

 

*What is to stop people who don't pay and aren't "committed"/will not "use this function responsibly" from just banking points until they have enough to temp upgrade and send unsolicited photos?

[VK****]

36 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Could it be that the filter can be changed on what messages we receive so that it allows each individual to decide whether they accept picture messages being sent to them by others? Is that feasible?. If so, you could then consider whether to remove that facility being available to only the males who have paid memberships. Everythings reviewable so after a few months, if there are issues, it could revert back to the current way of things but, to be fair, I've received inappropriate pictures from males in their first message, I'm not of the view that being a paid member shows any commitment to acting in a respectful way to other members here. It's more about disposable income and TBF, more of us have less than we did 6mths ago.

That makes perfect sense. Much like DRS is allowed after two laps in normal conditions in F1. So no pics allowed in first couple of posts. If the text is already underwhelming one can hide/delete/block etc before it gets to the next stage. Don't think the paying Elite should be exempt from this rule either. Shelling a couple of quid a month should not bestow Dick Pic Icebreaker rights.

While folks are also in 'suggestive' mood. 
Blocked profiles. Mine or theirs. I don't want to see them in my who's online, Quick Kink, News Feed, maybe even Forums. I blocked for a reason, I may choose to unblock later, but while blocked I wish to see absolutely nothing of them anywhere. 

[purplepie]

15 hours ago, Letsplaynaughty said:

Not sure what they have done with the messaging system but it’s completely F’ed. I keep getting these “ I\u2019m” replacing some of my texts so my messages make no sense. Also, I will get notification of a new message, but when I open my messages, there is no new message. I have to restart the app in order to see the new message. Can we go back lol

Hey! The weird looking strings ("I\u2019m”) are currently being worked on. I've already noted down the second point. The dev team has access to my notes! 

 

3 hours ago, Diapersub73 said:

Looking for a friend/ mommy in Decatur Illinois USA to diaper me and make me her baby 

Create a personal ad, love. I hope that way you'll find what you're looking for. 

 

10 hours ago, VKD said:

That makes perfect sense. Much like DRS is allowed after two laps in normal conditions in F1. So no pics allowed in first couple of posts. If the text is already underwhelming one can hide/delete/block etc before it gets to the next stage. Don't think the paying Elite should be exempt from this rule either. Shelling a couple of quid a month should not bestow Dick Pic Icebreaker rights.

While folks are also in 'suggestive' mood. 
Blocked profiles. Mine or theirs. I don't want to see them in my who's online, Quick Kink, News Feed, maybe even Forums. I blocked for a reason, I may choose to unblock later, but while blocked I wish to see absolutely nothing of them anywhere. 

I like your suggestions, thanks for contributing them. We'll discuss them next Monday in our team and I will give you an update on that topic. 

And yes, the problem with blocked profiles is already known. Dev Team is also looking into that. 

[Je****]

On 11/23/2022 at 6:41 PM, VKD said:

Unless I'm mistaken, the embarrassingly bad 'suggested Ice-breakers' are no more. On the laptop the message issue is marginally improved, there is now a scroll bar one can use to bring the text into focus, shame it was not set to default to the bottom so the text is always visible, but at least it can be brought into focus and edited. Messaging seems to be working a little better on the receipt side.

Profiles I visited. Blank screen. Not even a meagre allocation of the last 5 visits this past 24 hours. Looks like I'll have to overload my favourites. 

They are there

 

I went to message a friend with a new profile and in the inbox for me to write, it actually suggests a few of these lines or says "give me other suggestions"

 

It was bad enough receiving them.. but to be sat looking at them if messaging someone for the first time is a turn off. 

Also if i ever accidentally hit one of them if honestly never want to show my face on here again.

 

Keep the icebreakers sure. But remove them out of peoples inboxes please. 

 

I wont be using the messaging function until these icebreaker bits are gone. I absolutely hate them. 

 

 

[Je****]

On 11/23/2022 at 2:38 PM, VKD said:

Hi Jen, in general icebreakers are pretty much the only way to get a conversation going so they have to exist and be policed. There is a limit of 100 per 30 days for those who don't want to pay, unlimited for those that do. I think your beef is with the infantile suggestions they offer now, for those who find "Hi" a stretch too far in terms of typing effort! There should definitely be a no Spam/Bot lazy message option, better still, the suggestions should be removed or seriously overhauled.  

I do not at all agree its the only way to get a conversation going. If you want to message someone, message THEM. Dont send an automatic made up icebreaker to 30 women every day then moan youve none left (this has been said to me multiple times). 

Id appreciate a hey hi are you, more than the fet icebreakers. But i only reply to those who have read my profile. Its easy to spot who has and hasnt. 

 

And as Chloe said, people who use the icebreakers are doing themselves more harm than good. No one wants to have an unimaginative site chat up line thrown at them and have found the ultimate romance or D/s.

 

 

On 11/23/2022 at 6:41 PM, VKD said:

Unless I'm mistaken, the embarrassingly bad 'suggested Ice-breakers' are no more. On the laptop the message issue is marginally improved, there is now a scroll bar one can use to bring the text into focus, shame it was not set to default to the bottom so the text is always visible, but at least it can be brought into focus and edited. Messaging seems to be working a little better on the receipt side.

Profiles I visited. Blank screen. Not even a meagre allocation of the last 5 visits this past 24 hours. Looks like I'll have to overload my favourites. 

Sadly not. As of last night, they were showing for me anyway. All the other adjustments ive no issue with. 

 

The icebreakers need to be removed. Or a toggle to turn them on and off either sending or receiving. As i mentioned, while theyre showing as message suggestions for me to approach someone, il just stop using messages on here 🤷

 

And the group message feature. Bad bad bad. Very poor decision. Lobby is for that. 😪

 

Thats my only issues anyway 

[Je****]

17 hours ago, purplepie said:

I totally agree with you that this is not the ultimate solution. We are having a meeting with the development team next Monday, and I will raise this issue. Now with the new update, images including adult content are blurred out and people have to undergo an age-check to access them. This feature could maybe also be applied to non-paying male members. But this is not something I can decide on my own. 

On a side note: I've only recently joined the company so I'm being fully transparent and telling this community that I don't have all the answers yet. Of course, I get that this is not what you want to hear. You want solutions, bugs fixed immediately, and so do I. But I'm clearly stating what I have control over and what not. 

I gathered confirmation that the most pressing issues are already being worked on currently. All other suggestions and issues will be worked on in the next sprint planning meeting. Maybe this eases the frustration a bit?

 

 

 

 

See to be brutally honest.

 

I dont see what all the whinging is about. 

Women complaining that they receive dick pics on a bdsm app?! 

I mean yeh its disrespectful but we have all on the large majority seen one. Imo seen one seen them all. No need to throw a fit and blame the site for a few individuals who are incapable of human decency. 

In fact we need to pity those men who feel the only way to get a womans attention is by whats dangling. 

 

Women who receive a dick pic?? Yes its horrendous. But look at where we are. 

Block and report. Let the admin see WHY and move on. 

 

Cus at the end of the day people whinging over a dick has now punished the entirety of the male population on this site. 

Imo thats even more wrong. 

 

So yes as youve said there purple pie, maybe letting all men send pics happen

People not age checked wont get these dick pics if theyre sent, and people who have paid are most likely wise enough to report and block cus at the end of the day... 

If rather personally know what person is gonna be an arsehole and flash their bits unannounced so i can remove them from my view. 

Also if a guy cant do it online, whats to say he seems decent, you meet for a drink and he exposes himself there?? Same logic. Cant blame men on the shitty actions of a few, and the knock on of others getting offended over a dick. Cus yes its unfair on all men who are decent. 

Good outweighs the bad on here, remember that

 

 

My two cents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

I'm very uncomfortable having different rules for men on the site. I'm a big girl, I can handle a dick pic, and I appreciate undesirables identifying themselves from the get go.

We have a setting to turn off vid calls. Why not have a setting to turn off incoming media?

[VK****]

14 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

I'm very uncomfortable having different rules for men on the site. I'm a big girl, I can handle a dick pic, and I appreciate undesirables identifying themselves from the get go.

We have a setting to turn off vid calls. Why not have a setting to turn off incoming media?

Yes, that would be ideal. Let folks decide for themselves what level of 'censorship' for want of a better word, they wish to apply. I get that to seasoned folks, it seems a bit snowflakey to be taken aback by nudity, but at the end of the day this site is a business and I know lots of newbies to the scene who have deleted their account after a few days. Not so much the Dick pics as the rudeness. Seems to be a toxic place. I've been back here for just over a month and think I've racked up some 300 or so visits, mostly scammers and folks I've messaged or visited. Some of these new ladies hit 1000 views in a day and are overwhelmed by it all. It's not a good business model when your existing customers hound your potential new paying customers off. 
Pity there isn't a "No Jerks" box to tick.

[peavley]

and another thing.If you do try to message someone,and use your own words.You cant see what you're typing.

[VK****]

Fyi, I just received this notification....

Find out what's new in our new messaging system! 😈

Yet it links to nothing and the little menu on the right offers me an option to delete the notification and nothing else. So the question is....How do we do this?

[Ga****]

I’ve received an update message. There is no change. Message alerts and when I click on chat there are no new messages. I have to turn my phone off and on again to see messages. I’ve lost complete chats spanning months,again they only appear when I turn off and turn on again my phone

[purplepie]

40 minutes ago, Gaz26 said:

I’ve received an update message. There is no change. Message alerts and when I click on chat there are no new messages. I have to turn my phone off and on again to see messages. I’ve lost complete chats spanning months,again they only appear when I turn off and turn on again my phone

Have you checked whether you have the newest version of the app? 

 

1 hour ago, VKD said:

Fyi, I just received this notification....

Find out what's new in our new messaging system! 😈

Yet it links to nothing and the little menu on the right offers me an option to delete the notification and nothing else. So the question is....How do we do this?

Good to know. We created this notification, but as it doesn't work, there is something wrong with that. Will discuss this on Monday also. 

 

5 hours ago, peavley said:

and another thing.If you do try to message someone,and use your own words.You cant see what you're typing.

Anybody else with the same issue? For me it's not the case. Also for you: Could you please check if you have the latest version of FET? 

[Erebus]

1 minute ago, purplepie said:

Anybody else with the same issue? For me it's not the case. Also for you: Could you please check if you have the latest version of FET? 

I've found if you choose the option to use your own words where the option for the ice breakers are then it works correctly, if you just try to type your message in the box you can not read what you write. I hope this helps... P.s. I'm using the website currently.

[Deleted Member]

Newbie here. Can confirm that the messaging system seems very broken. I SOMETIMES get notifications and SOMETIMES the list of messages updates with the new message. What's worse is that I have to use a desktop browser to send pics, as it doesnt work on my phone (dont know if this is a new problem, as I just recently started using the app), and now the recipient tells me that they dont see the pics, even though I see them in our chat? 🤷

[ca****]

Does it now hide messages at both ends when someone selects the hide message option?

[Erebus]

I have missing parts of a conversation on the app and the whole conversation on the website… so at this point who knows?

[sm****]

getting a weird one since the update, a few once the message was deleted my end, they tried to send a message and saying they were blocked from contacting.  No blocks in place, just deleting the message thread.  Web version.

Edited November 27, 2022 by smeagol

[purplepie]

On 11/25/2022 at 7:05 PM, SoftDomino said:

Newbie here. Can confirm that the messaging system seems very broken. I SOMETIMES get notifications and SOMETIMES the list of messages updates with the new message. What's worse is that I have to use a desktop browser to send pics, as it doesnt work on my phone (dont know if this is a new problem, as I just recently started using the app), and now the recipient tells me that they dont see the pics, even though I see them in our chat? 🤷

Hey SoftDomino, could you please send me a screenshot via DM of what shows up when you're trying to send a pic from the app? Do you have the latest version? 

And if possible, a screenshot of the person who can't see your picture. You can blur out what you don't want me to see. 

[purplepie]

13 hours ago, Erebus said:

I have missing parts of a conversation on the app and the whole conversation on the website… so at this point who knows?

Did you check whether you need to download the newest version of the app? The missing parts are a known problem that I've informed the dev team about. As soon as the dev team is ready, there will be another update though where issues like these will have been taken care of. 

 

12 hours ago, smeagol said:

getting a weird one since the update, a few once the message was deleted my end, they tried to send a message and saying they were blocked from contacting.  No blocks in place, just deleting the message thread.  Web version.

This is new.. Sorry for the bad experience. I'll give you an update once I have it. Screenshots via DM are always very welcome and helpful!!