When and how do you inform of your kinks?

[Ba****]

So I've recently gotten serious with dating, and quit the one night stand types of relationships. I have many dating apps, both for looking for a kinky lover, and just plain and simple, normal relationships. I met this girl on bumble and we're really hitting it off, but I don't know how to bring up the fact that being a little means a lot to me, and it is something I do a fair bit. My question, is there a way to bring it up in conversation without sounding like a weirdo or extremely random, because I do not want to scare her off incase she's not into the idea of it. Do you just wait until ya'll have a sexual experience to mention it? Has there ever been a situation where you have hid a part of who you were just to see where things would go? I don't want to feel like I have to hide who I am to be loved by someone. Please leave kind advice, cause I'm really nervous about how to go about this.

[Do****]

Best time to tell is usually before anything sexual starts just so they no what to expect and to see if there into it as well

[mi****]

Ask what they’re into first, that’ll open the conversation. Don’t worry about coming off weird, there’s nothing wrong with saying what you like as long as you don’t pressure them into anything.

[To****]

I've just put my profile pic on my dating app! Can't be bothered anymore. I'm hoping it'll help filter out everyone I don't want wasting my time

[Deleted Member]

If she doesn’t accept you then she wasn’t ever right for you so no harm in clear communication

[ge****]

If it means that much to you and the prospect of not having that side of you with this person is too much to contemplate - then the fairest thing to do for both yourself and the lady concerned is to be open and honest about it as soon as possible and before feelings grow to the point where more *** than necessary could be caused.
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Sit her down outside of the bedroom and explain to her that there's a side to you she needs to know about - and truly explain it, tell her why it means so much to you, what it involves and more - be prepared to answer any questions she might ask, and also be prepared for her to say it's not for her and walk away.
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That's about the only option you have unless you're prepared to give it up and even if you are while the approach to telling her might be different, the conversation still needs to be had.

[DL****]

Listen to some podcast. Educate yourself all every part of the matter coming from both sides of the isle so to speak. I’d recommend listening to “daddyiwantthis “ podcast or love in brief.

Hope it helps.

[Deleted Member]

In all dating profiles I just put it out as 1) Not Vanilla; or 2) Pronouns: He/Daddy/Sir

[ph****]

I’m upfront right away. I’ll typically say something along the line of, “I’m into kinks,” or “I can be rough,” or “what do you know about BDSM?” I take plenty of time for the potential to ask as many questions as she’d like. If she’s new to it, I make sure to emphasize that the terms that are used are meant to be more harsh than they sound. If she’s familiar, then it’s a lot easier to explain things out. One thing I’ve found is that most subs really have no experience with the important things line SSC, RACK, some ideas of history, and even their own limits. I end up having to share the same amount of information regardless of experience, it’s just more understood, or understood quicker, by people that have had some sort of experience. I hope this helps.

[Deleted Member]

If the topic of sex comes up,ask her if she has any kinks. Maybe then you can feel her out more and ease your way into telling her what it is you like.

[Deleted Member]

I completely understand your question/challenge! I spent years going on vanilla dates hanging on every word and nuance to see if there might be an in to ‘open the conversation.’ My two cents is this: do you want to be with her enough that you could wait or not experience that relationship element at all. Or do you just decide: this is what I want, this is what I need and if that’s not for (her) then that’s ok too. She can decide if she wants to explore that side of her with you. Personally, after years of either excepting or letting go…I’d rather just be up front and except them and their limits and accept mine. I’m sending you the most positive vibes I can; I hope you find what will make you happy!

[pl****]

I feel like conversations naturally will progress to “ what kind of things are you into” or “what are your sexual fantasies”. especially when a conversation has you both feeling hot and bothered, you can lead with this to find about more about your partner as well as sharing more info about yourself. Don’t rush into this unless there’s an opening! And if they don’t understand or aren’t into it you can decide whether or not you want to pursue the relationship, hope that helps

[ch****]

Just be honest if she don't like it but don't want to lose her then quit or quit her and carry on.. but don't lie about it

[ny****]

My suggestion would be to approach it by asking her about some of the little activities you enjoy. Ask when the last time she colored was. Or if she sleeps with a stuffie ever or one of your other activities you enjoy. Maybe you’ll find she likes some of the activities you enjoy without even knowing what littlespace is. Either way it’s a good dialogue starter - you can tell her why you like them. Example it’s a great break from adulting; it helps relieve anxiety/stress etc. Avoid using labels and such until you gauge her reaction to the topic. She may already know more than you think.

[wa****]

After you’ve had sex at least 20 times, and before you get engaged.

[ro****]

I wish I had good suggestions. I’m in a very similar situation right now with leaving behind one night stands and moving into wanting to pursue dating more seriously (btw what apps do you like best?).

In general though, I think anytime you’ve been on several dates with someone, bringing up sexual preferences is really normal. I mean heck, even on the first date since sex is such a big/ important thing to any relationship. I was in a virtually sexless relationship for 11 years.

If being a little is super big for you, then whomever is right for you will care and prioritize that. So being upfront is how I would handle it. I guarantee you might feel like it’s a bigger deal than it actually will be to talk about.

I hope it goes well!

[Ro****]

Ive been in the domming position awhile, enough years everyone assumes. Someone got me to little, and yes i think it CAN be amazing. Also the reactions were widespread from those who knew me sexually, i told about half who were active then at the time. Ill say if you dont feel comfortable or safe to do them around it yet then wait. The weirdest reaction was insisting they want me to do it with them on the spot, when it wasnt a fit for me like that.

I wouldnt word it wait until sex as that could be taken wrong not that thats for sure what you were saying of course. Unless you unintentionally age regress id say its a read the room and vibes situation. Maybe even drop an opening to the discussion so if it is straight not an option with her your little doesnt feel open raw rejection?

[MrJim]

The sooner you broach the subject the better, you don’t want to be in a relationship where you are unfulfilled. It won’t make you happy and you may grow to resent her over time. There is a good book you should read called “Mind blowing erotic role play “ by Matthew Larocco that goes all through how to bring the topic up to your partner and how to ease into the role play. It’s a quick read and worth the few bucks it costs to get the kindle version. I think it’s like < $10

[Deleted Member]

Whenever the conversation has turned towards sexual preferences and what you’re each looking for, I’ve asked what kinds of things is the other person into. That usually opens the door to talk about kinks and fetishes and lets you bring it up a little more organically.

[Deleted Member]

Just ask if they have kinks of their own. If they like you then they’ll be honest. Everyone has kinks

[Si****]

I done it within the first 2 weeks, being a sissy slave is a massive part of who I am, I waited too long in a previous relationship to find out that she did not like it whatsoever, and I'll never get those 3 and a half years back. Told my now GF/Mistress straight away and she was intrigued, having never heard that males like to be dominated, sissified and controlled too, and she jumped at the chance to own her very own sissy slave. The bond and the trust that we have because of the honesty from day one is fantastic, I have never felt nervous, never felt scared or embarrassed to tell her anything, it's the best feeling ever. What I'm trying to say is don't hang about, you don't want to waste any time with someone who may not like what you're into. Honesty is the best policy, in my personal experience 🙏 Hope this helps, good luck ♥️

[So****]

I don't really have any advice of how to tell her... But the longer you wait the harder it will be. If she's really NOT into it- wouldn't you rather find out now than in 2 years time and be heartbroken?
My current relationship is a non kink one, and I've not hid that part of myself- just never acted upon it for 2.5years and it's tough... I'm struggling, And I've really thrown a spanner in the works by bringing up how much I really truly need it after all this time xx

[Deleted Member]

I think if being a little is important to you, it’s good to remember that if she gets scared off by that she just may not be the one for you and that’s ok! But I don’t think she will be scared away.
In my experience, eventually discussing these kind of things will come up naturally if you’re ok with waiting. Maybe you could do subtle things like lean your head on her shoulder, or even mention you prefer being little spoon. This is just got I would approach it, I hope things go well for you!

[lu****]

Wait until you have a sexual experience, get to know what she likes. After you get to know her you should say that you’d like to share your sexual interests if it’s ok and that it won’t be a dealbreaker if she’s not in to them, that you like her and you’d like her to give you the chance to try/show her what you like from the list she agrees. Take care

[Deleted Member]

I think them opening up to me about such personal things would really draw me to a person. If it's all just sunshine and rainbows it just seems so superficial. Also the longer you wait the harder it's gonna get. Trying to get a deep emotional connection before opening up just seems like doing it the wrong way around.