Willing Vs ***d

[bl****]

My Dom enjoys when I do things willingly when he commands or it’s one of my rules. I enjoy being ***d into doing things, being chained somewhere till the task is done, having things done to me. Due to these core desires, does this mean our relationship will not work and/or we are not compatible?

[Ch****]

It could lead to some disruption, is there a way you could willingly stand while he chains you to do said things?
Im similar in the sense i like a ***d feeling, chained while doing chores ect x

[yo****]

Doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t work or your not compatible. It just means you should communicate what you enjoy to your dom and see if he’s willing and able to do those things and find out if he’s not if it’s a dealbreaker for you

[Je****]

Communicate what you want.
A sub holds the power in the dynamic. You set limits and boundaries that he agrees, and respects and compromises along with his own.
Is the idea of being ***d, a limit of his, that he simply wont/cannot do?
Have you asked him or re-evaluated the wants and needs of you both?
Have you tried?
Is it ***d stuff regarding cnc youre into?
Is it brattiness and defiance?

Doesnt mean things wont work or not compatible but if you dont discuss and try it, itll only fester.
If he tried it with you and found it wasnt for him, perhaps you could meet in middle ground or another discussion may happen or then, no it wont work.
Dont know til you try

[Erebus]

I look at any and all dynamics in the same way, communication is not only a key factor to the success of any dynamic it is the most important factor for any dynamic/relationship to work. In the long term it has to be a two way street between the two of you! I.e. you both have to have your needs and desires serviced if only one of you is getting what you need from the dynamic then it is doomed to failure, this is why communication is key unless you both are clear with each other about what you want then there won’t be a dynamic for long! Yes as with any discussion between two people you may need to have a certain amount of compromise with regards to limits versus needs but that has to be part of the communication otherwise it will lead to the dynamic failing.
I hope this helped.

[Deleted Member]

Dont forget that you are the one setting rules. I think that communication is the key and in order to get what you want you need to communicate with your Dom. If you explaine to him how you want it and teach him your way then you will never have problems. If even after that your desires aren't satisfied then i think you need Dom who is more firmer with you. Good luck 💜

[Yo****]

I always think that the sub might have more power than the Dom, if the element of Consent is not given by the SUB, nothing will be done. (Unless you're into r4pe kink .. )

[Mrpleasesir]

There's not much more to be said except, when you have that discussion you can tell him to say less when it comes to things you do like. For instance, blowjobs. My bottom loves giving head. I introduced her to a dental gag and she loved being ***d down on my cock. No reason he needs to command you to give head if it's a favorite. Also, check out CNC play or abductor/captive role play.

[QXX666]

That’s because he is not a natural Dom and not experienced. Looks like he needs to go back to Dom school. Or sound like he is an hidden sub

[Be****]

You are the one in control. Talk with your dom about this and see if y’all can’t come to some compromise. He likes you doing things willingly and you like to be ***d so talk and come to mutual ground on it. If you two can’t then it might not be the best relationship.

[Da****]

8 hours ago, QXX666 said:

That’s because he is not a natural Dom and not experienced. Looks like he needs to go back to Dom school. Or sound like he is an hidden sub

What?!?!?!?! Sounds more like they need to communicate..

[Erebus]

10 minutes ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

What?!?!?!?! Sounds more like they need to communicate..

That is exactly what I was thinking! but hey who am I to know!

[Be****]

It also depends on what kind of dominate he is. I’ve known both types.

[QXX666]

9 hours ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

What?!?!?!?! Sounds more like they need to communicate..

A Dom will cover everything during the initial communication before engaging into a Ds relationship . So if he had asked the right questions he would have know she's into ***/cnc type of play. 
this is basic bdsm attitude.
Late communication is for improving/pushing limits, new kinks etc… 

[Da****]

8 hours ago, QXX666 said:

A Dom will cover everything during the initial communication before engaging into a Ds relationship . So if he had asked the right questions he would have know she's into ***/cnc type of play. 
this is basic bdsm attitude.
Late communication is for improving/pushing limits, new kinks etc… 

That's not always true. Even if a Dom asks all the right questions, things within the dynamic can change. A sub can change and want more or be will to experiment more.. I have seen it first hand. I find it interesting after about a year in a dynamic to redo the limits section of a contract and what has changed....and yes I know contracts are not binding.. lets not get into that, there are plenty of threads on that topic.

[Da****]

talk to him. You as the sub get a say as well. If he doesn’t think so, get rid of him

[Erebus]

I don’t know how many times I’ve said this over the years but constant and open discussion all the time is a must! I sit down with my subs and chat after every scene and talk about it with them as part of the aftercare! And we do a review of our dynamic every six months minimum or sooner if requested by either party… So let’s all say it together “constant communication is key!” It’s not a one time deal that we just have to get out of the way and thank god that’s over with! If you are both growing your dynamic together then you will always need to communicate with each other as things will and often do change over time!