HOW DO YOU NEGOTIATE INTERESTS/SCENES??

[na****]

TW: brief mention with mental health struggles


Hey all🥰 new to the community and I thought I could share a proposition I had introduced to one of my play partners awhile back.

Each dynamic has their respected way of negotiation but as someone who is seeking a more the***utic outcome, I write a bit more in depth for my Dom. This way SSC and RACK are still maintained🖤


The type of play I am mentioning is cathartic play. Here it is~

Why suggest this type of play to dynamic?

I have been under stress in my daily life, I haven’t been able to express my emotions. I am not using this type of play as a replacement for any self harm and I am fully aware of the emotional state that I am in. Instinctually, I am listening to my body and what it needs; release/emotional expression.

How will this type of play combined with impact play be beneficial?

To combat with taught suppression, the *** of impact will allow my body to express. I am fully aware that the expression could very well be screams instead of tears as an emotional response. The beauty of this type of play is the freedom and allowance of subs body to simply emote in the rawest form.

It is all consensual and all parties know their safeword and have clearly shared that and acknowledge it.

The process will be intense. There will be a couple of different sub spaces that she may slip into:Blond Space or Fight or Flight.

What is blond space?
My body will start to have a response as we start to reach higher intensity. This may look like less communication and more focus on the dominant, giggles, breathing will become more deeper. My body is nearing subspace and communication will be needed to make sure sub is going into subspace and not into triggers and dissociating. It is consensual and sub is aware of her safeword.

Fight or flight?
Fight or flight may easily be the subspace met. Communication will be needed since there is a fine line of triggering and dissociating that can happen; intensity of impact play will be challenged. It is consensual and sub is aware of her safeword.

Overall wishes for the session involving cathartic play?

I wish to experience trust building, allowance of emotional expression in a safe environment, allowance to emote instinctual responses but still guided to levels to reach catharsis.


Immediate aftercare: When sub is experiencing catharsis, she would enjoy pets, praises/ to be held.
A bath will be drawn and ready
ice cream in the freezer😋
Tylenol and water will be brought up to the room.

Please feel free to vocalize what you might need for aftercare since this play might be done at subs home.

Because of the heaviness of the scene, a follow-up a few days after would be suggested…

——
Everyone has their way that works within their dynamics.. Curious how others negotiate and what similarities and differences we may see🤔🤔

[Deleted Member]

I am little confused. This came across as a sub needing advice on how to approach a trusted Dominant regarding the much needed release of the cork most of us subs keep on things but ended from a Dominant's perspective and a very well thought out explanation of possible responses.

Therefore I'm not sure what the question is or how to approach it. And I would like to help.

The communication of needs and boundaries seems well written. As to the 'how too' involvement, that's up to the sub. Some sub's find release through nonsexual service, others solely through masochism. And yet others need sex or a full scene with TPE.

Also, a Dominant is clearly writing here and asking what aftercare the sub needs, so communication is in full swing. And again, that answer depends on the submissive.

[na****]

The question wasn’t how to negotiate. It was how others in the community go about negotiation..

[na****]

I would like to also state that I have written everything above and identify as a switch.

[Sire_Osiris]

How: honestly and clearly. Come from a place of empathy and understanding. Exercise patience and be accommodating at each point.
Also, your partner should be honest about limits and what makes for an uncomfortable situation.