You're All Fake!

[PJ****]

5 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Ah and I was gonna say you'd probably want to shave your chest first?

What? You mean you wouldn't like to see my big hairy man boobs!? 🤨 How very rude! 😂

[Ch****]

Couldn't agree more.
Every female I have approached is dissappearing once the discussion is reaching the "meeting point".

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, PJ3000 said:

What? You mean you wouldn't like to see my big hairy man boobs!? 🤨 How very rude! 😂

Wine also makes me rude a little, go figure 1🤣🤣

[CopperKnob]

2 minutes ago, Christian-2070 said:

Couldn't agree more.
Every female I have approached is dissappearing once the discussion is reaching the "meeting point".

I've done that but it doesn't make me fake. If someone asks to meet and I respond positively, i don't expect to be left on read for 24hrs. It tells me they wsren't that interested afterall 🤷‍♀️

[PJ****]

3 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Wine also makes me rude a little, go figure 1🤣🤣

😂 has this evening been a wine evening 🤔😂🍾

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, PJ3000 said:

😂 has this evening been a wine evening 🤔😂🍾

A wine ebening as opposed to a whine evening 🥂 chin chin!!

[Ch****]

8 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I've done that but it doesn't make me fake. If someone asks to meet and I respond positively, i don't expect to be left on read for 24hrs. It tells me they wsren't that interested afterall 🤷‍♀️

It depends on the work you are doing...
It has happened to me

[PJ****]

12 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

A wine ebening as opposed to a whine evening 🥂 chin chin!!

Well cheers to you madame 🍷 may thy processco bubble pleasantly 😁

[CopperKnob]

6 minutes ago, Christian-2070 said:

It depends on the work you are doing...
It has happened to me

Yeah no, i don't buy it, it takes 2mins yo open this app and send a msg saying "im super busy, lets arrange something in the next (timeframe) when thinhs aren't as crazy"

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, PJ3000 said:

Well cheers to you madame 🍷 may thy processco bubble pleasantly 😁

Processco? Eho do you think I am? And Essex girl??
I am.
I am an essex virl🤣🤣

[PJ****]

Just now, CopperKnob said:

Processco? Eho do you think I am? And Essex girl??
I am.
I am an essex virl🤣🤣

A girl with 3 thumbs at the moment it appears 😂😂😂😜

[ey****]

26 minutes ago, Christian-2070 said:

Couldn't agree more.
Every female I have approached is dissappearing once the discussion is reaching the "meeting point".

this is something that does suck - and I think if there has been any form of positive conversation it might be there are more appropriate responses to leaving you hanging

but to paraphrase something I was talking to someone about the other day; there was someone where a guy she had been talking to had brought up meeting and, actually, she had been responding to his conversations mostly through politeness but, just, didn't really feel enthused to meet.  The conversation not going as well in her eyes than it might have seemed in his and when we talk about that, maybe she should have just said she wasn't interested pretty much every scenario she could do is one that guys have moaned about.

I think it is something that sucks it happens, but the private conversations might very well be "chat to see where it goes" but then when meeting gets brought up it's a litmus test of just how interested the other person feels in how it's gone.  It doesn't make them fake, it just makes them not interested, and at this point it also is very difficult on how to handle because the honest answer to "do you want to meet?" might be "I'm not that interested you and replied mostly through politeness and the half hope our conversations might ever go somewhere, so, no, nothing we've exchanged so far makes me want to meet" and that might be anything from ego crushing to feeling like you've been strung along - even if the intention wasn't to string along, it just never felt like there was a polite exit to the conversation.

Because if you're talking to someone, any form of exit to the conversation always sucks to some degree and there really is no nice way to do it - especially if, well, especially if you're seemingly doing everything right the other person just doesn't feel as enthusiastic as you about meeting 

[Ch****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

this is something that does suck - and I think if there has been any form of positive conversation it might be there are more appropriate responses to leaving you hanging

but to paraphrase something I was talking to someone about the other day; there was someone where a guy she had been talking to had brought up meeting and, actually, she had been responding to his conversations mostly through politeness but, just, didn't really feel enthused to meet.  The conversation not going as well in her eyes than it might have seemed in his and when we talk about that, maybe she should have just said she wasn't interested pretty much every scenario she could do is one that guys have moaned about.

I think it is something that sucks it happens, but the private conversations might very well be "chat to see where it goes" but then when meeting gets brought up it's a litmus test of just how interested the other person feels in how it's gone.  It doesn't make them fake, it just makes them not interested, and at this point it also is very difficult on how to handle because the honest answer to "do you want to meet?" might be "I'm not that interested you and replied mostly through politeness and the half hope our conversations might ever go somewhere, so, no, nothing we've exchanged so far makes me want to meet" and that might be anything from ego crushing to feeling like you've been strung along - even if the intention wasn't to string along, it just never felt like there was a polite exit to the conversation.

Because if you're talking to someone, any form of exit to the conversation always sucks to some degree and there really is no nice way to do it - especially if, well, especially if you're seemingly doing everything right the other person just doesn't feel as enthusiastic as you about meeting 

Even if if matters are as described you can declare as a proper adult that you don't want to meet.
Ghosting and disappearing is a different thing. It shows lack of culture and education.
I get your point but zi strongly believe that Fet and other simar platforms have gathered people who are into sexting and are loitering around without genuine intention to meet up with someone . We are full of message Jerks...
Really considering to delete my account

[Yorksintoon]

Am I?  That explains it then. Thanks for clearing it up. I thought I was real, but it must have been a dream!

[ey****]

9 hours ago, Christian-2070 said:

Even if if matters are as described you can declare as a proper adult that you don't want to meet.
Ghosting and disappearing is a different thing. It shows lack of culture and education.
I get your point but zi strongly believe that Fet and other simar platforms have gathered people who are into sexting and are loitering around without genuine intention to meet up with someone . We are full of message Jerks...
Really considering to delete my account

on one hand I'm not going to say this doesn't happen.

I think there can be folk of any gender who get a little caught up in the fantasy - and then when it comes time to meet, actually, some might have thought they wanted to - some maybe over fantasised, and it's a bit much

it won't be the only scenario - but a common scenario is married guys who will be happy to talk online but can't realistically meet.  

And kinda, in porn, there are a couple of big markets.  One isn't quite as big as it was - but there are still people who go on sites and pay for text based chats which they get off to.  Which, in itself, if someone is going to pay for this for their thrills, there'll be others who seek it for free.   Another common clip theme is homewrecker, these are clips which sell pretty well which is usually a POV with a pretty young girl selling a cheating-on-your-wife fantasy and whatever anyone thinks of this, it sells well and it's a common fantasy and so of course, there's folk will talk to others to simulate this fantasy.

I dislike how much the line of ghosting has changed over the years - if someone stops responding to your message it's not ghosting, the conversation has just died.   For it to be ghosting at the minimum there has to have been an agreement to meet they don't show up for, or you do meet and it goes well but they then no longer reply your messages

Ghosting is a big issue - but only when it is actually ghosting - but a bit like any form of no response the outcome is generally that they weren't interested or it didn't work out and we can't accept it, like any other form of rejection, there was hope for another outcome.

(there is also a case of message exchanges dying when, for example, you thought you'd replied - or - were busy and forgot about someone - or - had other stuff going on in life which took priority)

but in the kinda example of "So do you want to meet?" and getting a non response.  The lack of reply obviously sucks.  But are any of these actually any better? - "No", "I've actually found our conversations dulls, I started to reply to see if things would go anywhere but they really haven't", "So, yeah, I enjoyed our chats - but this was just me fantasising", "We literally started talking two days ago and it's been small talk hell", "Yeah, I was interested but some of your forum comments really turned me off", "I know you've asked 3 other people today", "My replies were only ever in pity", "I enjoyed chatting with you, but I'm not attracted to you"

on paper these are all closure. and all honest.  but really how do you think most people would feel to these responses?   How do you think most people, especially guys, would respond to most of these?  As well as feeling quite hurt, there might also be a feeling of being led on (the other person knew they weren't interested sooner, but actually beyond hitting 'not interested' or suddenly not replying there's very few outs) there also might be anger or frustration and in some cases this no is going to be challenged and that's a dumping of emotional labour

"why?", "what comments?", "what could I have done better?" - so, yeah, I can understand a non response

and also, whatever happens.  you still got rejected and still have to deal with that rejection and that is something which again ties in with how difficult online dating can be.  

 

I still think online dating should only ever be used as an extension of other things, rather than a replacement.  

 

[PJ****]

13 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

on one hand I'm not going to say this doesn't happen.

I think there can be folk of any gender who get a little caught up in the fantasy - and then when it comes time to meet, actually, some might have thought they wanted to - some maybe over fantasised, and it's a bit much

it won't be the only scenario - but a common scenario is married guys who will be happy to talk online but can't realistically meet.  

And kinda, in porn, there are a couple of big markets.  One isn't quite as big as it was - but there are still people who go on sites and pay for text based chats which they get off to.  Which, in itself, if someone is going to pay for this for their thrills, there'll be others who seek it for free.   Another common clip theme is homewrecker, these are clips which sell pretty well which is usually a POV with a pretty young girl selling a cheating-on-your-wife fantasy and whatever anyone thinks of this, it sells well and it's a common fantasy and so of course, there's folk will talk to others to simulate this fantasy.

I dislike how much the line of ghosting has changed over the years - if someone stops responding to your message it's not ghosting, the conversation has just died.   For it to be ghosting at the minimum there has to have been an agreement to meet they don't show up for, or you do meet and it goes well but they then no longer reply your messages

Ghosting is a big issue - but only when it is actually ghosting - but a bit like any form of no response the outcome is generally that they weren't interested or it didn't work out and we can't accept it, like any other form of rejection, there was hope for another outcome.

(there is also a case of message exchanges dying when, for example, you thought you'd replied - or - were busy and forgot about someone - or - had other stuff going on in life which took priority)

but in the kinda example of "So do you want to meet?" and getting a non response.  The lack of reply obviously sucks.  But are any of these actually any better? - "No", "I've actually found our conversations dulls, I started to reply to see if things would go anywhere but they really haven't", "So, yeah, I enjoyed our chats - but this was just me fantasising", "We literally started talking two days ago and it's been small talk hell", "Yeah, I was interested but some of your forum comments really turned me off", "I know you've asked 3 other people today", "My replies were only ever in pity", "I enjoyed chatting with you, but I'm not attracted to you"

on paper these are all closure. and all honest.  but really how do you think most people would feel to these responses?   How do you think most people, especially guys, would respond to most of these?  As well as feeling quite hurt, there might also be a feeling of being led on (the other person knew they weren't interested sooner, but actually beyond hitting 'not interested' or suddenly not replying there's very few outs) there also might be anger or frustration and in some cases this no is going to be challenged and that's a dumping of emotional labour

"why?", "what comments?", "what could I have done better?" - so, yeah, I can understand a non response

and also, whatever happens.  you still got rejected and still have to deal with that rejection and that is something which again ties in with how difficult online dating can be.  

 

I still think online dating should only ever be used as an extension of other things, rather than a replacement.  

 

I think we need an 'I'm not feeling it anymore' button in the message section 😁 that just generates a polite.. sorry but I'm moving on, no offence.. message. And then it stops them from replying 🤷🏻‍♂️ You still have to deal with the rejection of course but it could provide closure to many people and stops you waiting around for a couple days wondering if they're just busy or if that's the end of the conversation.
.
.
Plus it gives whoever presses it and easy, simple way to stop any interaction and not have any nasty, comeback if someone takes it badly.. also to not have to fret over how to write a message that conveys the situation without coming across too harshly. I think the fact that you're getting an automated generalised response might make the pill easier to swallow for the recipient since it wont be a personal message as such 🤔 where's the @fetmod? How do I suggest ideas 🤷🏻‍♂️😁

[Deleted Member]

Tbh I havnt spoken with many nice people on here I met someone who I clicked with I actually fell for her we were taking every single day on videochat, she told me she needed help I gave her £500 to help her out I wasn’t expecting it back I loved her all I wanted was just to be with her she then ghosted me at a time I needed her most and she knew exactly because I told her and since then iv been egnored ghosted and not given a chance by anyone else so you can sit there and say it’s a nice supportive place but I havnt felt that at all

[ey****]

2 hours ago, PJ3000 said:

I think we need an 'I'm not feeling it anymore' button in the message section 😁 that just generates a polite.. sorry but I'm moving on, no offence.. message. And then it stops them from replying 🤷🏻‍♂️ You still have to deal with the rejection of course but it could provide closure to many people and stops you waiting around for a couple days wondering if they're just busy or if that's the end of the conversation.
.
.
Plus it gives whoever presses it and easy, simple way to stop any interaction and not have any nasty, comeback if someone takes it badly.. also to not have to fret over how to write a message that conveys the situation without coming across too harshly. I think the fact that you're getting an automated generalised response might make the pill easier to swallow for the recipient since it wont be a personal message as such 🤔 where's the @fetmod? How do I suggest ideas 🤷🏻‍♂️😁

I think while good on paper - sometimes a lot is that... decisions aren't made until you're presented with a juncture.  ("would you like to meet?") and sometimes it can be a bit conversation fatigue that you get a message feel... I'll reply later... then, just... don't.

Equally the "not interested" button can be pressed at any time.  And there have been guys complained in the past it was randomly used on them in a conversation they thought was going well, and any other kinda out follows the same - there is ultimately no solution that cushions rejection

[ey****]

36 minutes ago, daddy6987 said:

Tbh I havnt spoken with many nice people on here I met someone who I clicked with I actually fell for her we were taking every single day on videochat, she told me she needed help I gave her £500 to help her out I wasn’t expecting it back I loved her all I wanted was just to be with her she then ghosted me at a time I needed her most and she knew exactly because I told her and since then iv been egnored ghosted and not given a chance by anyone else so you can sit there and say it’s a nice supportive place but I havnt felt that at all

I'm really sorry to hear this.  The truth is, ultimately, you were probably scammed.  I think there always has to be a wariness in sending *** even if it is someone you're talking to on video.   Even if it feels like you click because, sadly, a scammers trick is to tell you what you want to hear and this makes you feel there is a connection.

But also. Some genuine folk can feel very weirded about being sent *** even if it helps them out.  That even if it is a case of "I just want to help you, I don't need the *** back" there can still feel like they're in debt to someone and it hang over in other ways.  It can make folk feel quite uncomfortable because even good deeds can have their own hangover.

It still sucks whichever the truth is.

In terms of support. I often think this is especially weird online, but not just online.  But what might you reasonably want in terms of support?  Because, for example, anyone sharing tips, experience and advice is a form of support, even if it's support that everyone would find beneficial. 

If it's  "you know, I'm feeling shit - I just want someone to talk to" then I can empathise deeply but this ties in with the whole kinda raft of problems when you stake your happiness and wellbeing into someone else being able to find the time and attention.  Because even the most well-meaning of person can't always be available - this gets into a much wider web also.  There's always a line in what kinda support people can realistically offer, especially if it's not their field and/or to folk they don't really know.

[Deleted Member]

I noticed members mentioning "deleting membership", but 2/3 don't delete, or returning (usually in a short time). I wonder if it is a tatic, bluff or realized "it's not so bad here". Wanted to add, most has other sites. They make it sound like "I am deleting, and done with all this crap", but are on other sites.🤷‍♀️

Edited December 3, 2022 by Deleted Member

[Ch****]

1 hour ago, daddy6987 said:

Tbh I havnt spoken with many nice people on here I met someone who I clicked with I actually fell for her we were taking every single day on videochat, she told me she needed help I gave her £500 to help her out I wasn’t expecting it back I loved her all I wanted was just to be with her she then ghosted me at a time I needed her most and she knew exactly because I told her and since then iv been egnored ghosted and not given a chance by anyone else so you can sit there and say it’s a nice supportive place but I havnt felt that at all

Anyone asks you for *** tell them where to go and report instantly. This has happened to a quite few people on here. There has been a few times people have come in to the chat room saying this has happened to them. People who do this are no more than common thieves and should be arrested and jailed

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, Chiana said:

Anyone asks you for *** tell them where to go and report instantly. This has happened to a quite few people on here. There has been a few times people have come in to the chat room saying this has happened to them. People who do this are no more than common thieves and should be arrested and jailed

Thank you 💜 yeah I guess I have a soft heart I can’t see anyone go hungry but it’s the way she did it and the timing was so bad and she knew this aswell I don’t want yo say too much tbh cos it’s ***ful but I do have trust issues because of that cunt

[Deleted Member]

23 minutes ago, kiseu said:

I noticed members mentioning "deleting membership", but 2/3 don't delete, or returning (usually in a short time). I wonder if it is a tatic, bluff or realized "it's not so bad here". Wanted to add, most has other sites. They make it sound like "I am deleting, and done with all this crap", but are on other sites.🤷‍♀️

I am sure that maybe the case in some cases, but I feel that frustration maybe the motivation with some. I have to admit, that has been the case for me. You try and try, but it doesn't matter how honest and sincere your profile is, if you don't appeal to someone,, no matter how much you think you might fit , it just won't work.

Yes, I do feel your point of view is valid as well. It is a tough old gsme😄

[Ch****]

6 minutes ago, daddy6987 said:

Thank you 💜 yeah I guess I have a soft heart I can’t see anyone go hungry but it’s the way she did it and the timing was so bad and she knew this aswell I don’t want yo say too much tbh cos it’s ***ful but I do have trust issues because of that cunt

Nothing wrong in having a kind heart. But just be sure to protect it from others who will *** that kindness. 

[Deleted Member]

20 minutes ago, DaddyBear63 said:

I am sure that maybe the case in some cases, but I feel that frustration maybe the motivation with some. I have to admit, that has been the case for me. You try and try, but it doesn't matter how honest and sincere your profile is, if you don't appeal to someone,, no matter how much you think you might fit , it just won't work.

Yes, I do feel your point of view is valid as well. It is a tough old gsme😄

Maybe my wordings were not good. My point, noticed some making this site a horrible place, or their done with it all! But, they were not so truthful. If you are done with all, or this site is intolerable, why are you on other sites at the same time, or come back?.

Edited December 3, 2022 by Deleted Member